Other Character Email The Unguraits/Irritating
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Synopsis
The gang is sent top outer space, but just in the nick of time, the Hand Brothers challenge them in a fight for their lives to see if they survive. If The Unguraits win they, along with the others, are safely placed back on the ship. If they lose, they are destroyed, never to return. This is left off from the 1-Up email Rya 3, so don't read this until you read that... and all the season 6 Ungurait emails and 1-Up emails from "Dan" to after.
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, 1-Up, Stinkoman, Kyle, Marzichan, Ben, Contestro Sevornkey, Master X, Rya Botkins, Possessed Squid, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Elly Strife, Evil, Chorch Commander, The Trickster, Sidekick Bob, Doomsday
Transcript
{Fade into the ship. A door appears out of nowhere and opens, revealing Contestro and the other two Unguraits.}
CONTESTRO: Oh. Now I get it. The blue key opens the blue door.
UNGURAIT #3: That's like some kind of video game.
{Following the two Unguraits and Contestro is Master X, Rya and the Possessed Squid}
MASTER X: {short pause, not surprised at the sight of 1-Up} Umm, what is this?
RYA: Um, err...
MASTER X: {sighs} I said "what is this?" Somebody better answer me.
RYA: 1-Up, four bandits, a Sailor Moon rip-off, two tiny Jaros named "Ben" and "Kyle", a the Cheat and Stinkoman.
MASTER X: No. I mean as in, what are they doing here? Why hasen't 1-Up been caught as bait. I thought we were able to control this universe at will.
RYA: Umm, yes. We are.
MASTER X: Well, do something!
{Rya gets out a tiny remote and points it at the 1-Up and the other good guys}
RYA: {presses button} Say goodbye to your little universe. Cause' I'm returning to my webtoon.
{Rya dissapears. 1-Up starts hitting himself because the reality controller was pressed. 1-Up, who is still hitting himself, starts to float and gets thrown out of the middle of time and space chamber}
1-UP: WAAAAAAGH!
{The same thing happens to Marzichan, Stinkoman, Contestro, Kyle and Ben. Master X and the Possessed Squid approach the four Unguraits and smile evilly}
POSSESSED SQUID: I have waited so long for this moment.
MASTER X: Prepare to die.
{Cut to 1-Up, Marzichan, Stinkoman, Ben, Kyle and Contestro floating in space, as the portal closes. Seeing as there is no gravity, they are unable to get back into the portal}
MARZICHAN: {angry} Great! We're going to die cause' there's no oxygen in here! {suddenly, they disappear with a flash of light. Cut to Final Destination. They all appear.}
STINKOMAN: Huh? Where ARE we?
VOICE: You have been chosen to battle for your lives as a result of your strength and courage.
CONTESTRO: Cut to the chase, Mr. Booming Voice, who are you?
VOICE: Spoil-sport. {He is revealed to be the Master Hand. The Crazy Hand joins.}
MASTER HAND: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Master Hand, greatest fighter of all the universe!
CRAZY HAND: {deranged laughing} And I'm his- {laughs} brother, {laughs} the Crazy Hand! {laughs}
UNGURAIT #1: O...k. Why did you summon us?
MASTER HAND: We have heard of your heroic exploits and reputation as great fighters. I summoned you to show you who the real master is.
STINKOMAN: Then lets challenge!
MASTER HAND: Not you; The Unguraits shall be my adversaries, while you stay in the sidelines, but first, they must do battle with their past aquaintances.
CRAZY HAND: If you win, {laughs} you can fight us!
UNGURAIT #1: Okay, bring it on!
MASTER HAND: Very well. {A flash, the guys are in the sidelines while the Unguraits are on the battlefield.} Vs... {Elly appears on the other side} Elly Strife!
UNGURAIT #1: ELLY???
ELLY: Yes, but I'm not Elly here, but instead... {she transforms into Evil}
EVIL: Evil, the almighty ruler of darkness!
UNGURAIT #1: Eh, we've seen darker.
EVIL: WHAT?? Grr... That does it! After you defeated me, I trained to become stronger and now I am strong enough to defeat you!
UNGURAIT #1: Dream on!
MASTER HAND: Ready? Go!
{Battle music begins. Evil blasts a shodow ball at them. They dodge, but he/she sends more shadow balls. The fourth one scores a direct hit. They fall. They blast them with electric bolts of lightning and kicks him/her at an amazingly high rate. Evil blasts hyper beams from his/her palms. The Unguraits dodge. One blast almost destroyed the sidelines. Another badly scars Crazy Hand. Evil continues. The Unguraits jump, making him/her taget and blast a mirror-based satellite and the blast is reflected at him/her at double-strength. He/she transforms back into Elly and collapses.}
MASTER HAND: Well done, bandits. {Elly disappears} Here's a Maxim Tomato. You get one after the end of each match. {They eat it and regain full power.} You'll espacially need it for the next match. {chuckles devilishly. He goes back to his seat.} Vs... {The Boss Trio Reloaded appears on the other side.} The Boss Trio Reloaded!
UNGURAIT #1: This shouldn't be so bad.
CHORCH COMMANDER: You think? Like Evil, we too have been training and we have a special move we've been saving for you.
MASTER HAND: Ready? Go!
{Battle music begins. Chorch Commander darts toward The Unguraits. They dodge and grab his claw. They swing him around and throws him off stage. (à la Super Mario 64) He floats back up. The Trickster kicks them in the stomachs. Sidekick Bob jumps on them. They grab him and throw him towards the Trickster. They both fall off. Chorch Commander Blast little rockets from his claws. The Unguraits dodge each one. They attack him and beat him to scrap.}
MASTER HAND: Ha ha ha! That was wonderful! Now here's a tomato. {They put it into their pocket} You'll be facing somweone that me and the Crazy Hand, err, enhanced, heh heh... {he goes back} Vs... {Doomsday appears with 4 mechanical arms, mechanical wings, giant robotic boots, and appears to have grown ten times his size.} Doomsday!
UNGURAIT #1: Crap.
MASTER HAND: Ready? Go!
{Tense battle music begins. Doomsday launches missiles from his claws. The Unguraits run in circles. When they get in front of Crazy Hand, they jump. Doomsday grabs them, then throws them to the ground. He freezes them with his ice beam. They attempt to get out, but instead, slide across the floor. Doomsday follows, but trips and falls. The eventually melt. Doomsday stomps on them. After 12 stomps, he picks them up and throws them to the ground again. This time, he blasts them with bombs. In the smoke they each take a bite of the tomato. They heal and grab Doomsday. They pick him up and slam him around. They throw him off.}
MASTER HAND: Excellent. Now you will be facing us! Let's get him, Crazy Hand! Crazy Hand? {Crazy Hand is badly damaged.} What?
UNGURAIT #1: We did that. We jumped in front of him when the enemies blasted powerful things at us to weaken him. Now he's too weak to fight.
{Real tense battle music starts. Master Hand grabs them, squeezes them, and throws them to the ground. He shoots lasers at them. He slams his fist onto the ground, targeting them. He slaps them around. He shoots bullets at them.}
MASTER HAND: You see? You aren't even a match for me! How did you expect to beat us both?
UNGURAIT #1: {weakly} We have this! {holds up the small fragment of Maxim Tomato they have left} {to other Unguraits} I'll have to continue this fight alone.
UNGURAIT #2: Okay. You need to beat him to save us and the whole universe! Go!
{#1 eats the tomato and becomes stronger. He attacks the Master Hand with a barrage of attacks. He tries to fight back, but can't get good aim. After 1 minute, 32 seconds of dramatic battle, Master Hand falls in defeat.}
MASTER HAND: Unguraits, you have beaten me. In return, I return you to the ship you were on before Master X and his squid put you in the universe. I shall return to prove to make you ph34r my m4d 1337 sk1llz! Farewell. {they disappear. Cut to Stinkoman's Ship.}
STINKOMAN: Nice job, guys! That was the greatest challenge and fighing I've ever seen!
UNGURAIT #1: Yeah but now, we have to check an email while we still got time! {Cut to the CCS 5000} Super Ungurait Email... Meleeeeeeeeeeee!
Guhh. You guys are irritating. Will you ever do anything like it should be? Like stealing? That isn't characters, or plotlines, or locations, or other story pieces, and your overuse of running gags, and be more original? And rob people without me reminding you all the time? Oh, and, you can't find me. I'm hiding. If you try and look, you will get tossed into a sticky, dark, dank, luminescent bog, and be trapped forever. -Am really hoping for a good reply, Gwen Zeeveiler.
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} ...That's it? We go through a bone-breaking battle and this is the thanks we get?? Well, we ain't havin' it! {they leave}
{Pan out to see Master X and Possessed Squid watching in X's lair}
MASTER X: Drat! Master Hand meddling again... Oh well. We can destroy them soon enough. {laughs maliciously, the squid joins in}
{Fade to black the words "Click here to email The Unguraits" appear}
Fun Facts
- The Master Hand and Crazy Hand are both from Super Smash Bros. Melee as is Final Destination, what Master Hand says at the beginning of each match, and the Maxim Tomato.
- However, the Maxim Tomato was originally from the Kirby series of video games.
- Elly's way of transforming from Evil and back is based on how the main character of Danny Phantom, Danny Fenton transforms.
- The Boss Trio Reloaded is from OCE Tampo.
