Other Character Email Gunhaver/Drawing
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Summary
Gunhaver draws Lil'est Brudder and Rodgort to life (well, the Rodgort part is a flashback, but there's also a song).
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Lil'est Brudder, Carl and Barney, Blue Laser, Rodgort the Freezinator, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Firebert, Reynold
Lines: 97
Transcript
{We cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types in:gunhaver_email.exebefore pressing enter to make the following email appear on the screen. Gunhaver doesn't read it.}
Dear little yellow thing who has a gun,
I bet if you made a drawing that could make anyone cry,
you could use it on the little yellow things that wear blue,
and they'll stop doing evil things.
Sincerely,
Cletus, a friend of Jman
GUNHAVER: Oops! I forgot to do my email rap!
{Gunhaver tries to cover the computer screen with his hands.}
GUNHAVER: {singing} Uh, here is an email rap!
{Then Gunhaver removes his hands from the computer screen before reading the email. Soon, he finishes reading after pronouncing Jman as "Juhman".}
GUNHAVER: Augh! Didn't you ever watch... or know... that I hate this kind of email where emailers discriminate the Cheat Commandos? Have you ever watched the Cheat Soldiers? Fortunately, I can save this with {begins typing} INDISCRIMINATED.exe!
{Then Gunhaver presses enter as the DELETED sequence occurs, except in place of DELETED is the word INDISCRIMINATED. Then the following email is on the screen.}
Dear Gunhaver,
I bet if you made a drawing of Li'l Brudder that could make anyone cry,
you could use it on Blue Laser and his minions
and they'll stop trying to crush you.
Sincerely,
Cletus
GUNHAVER: You know, Delty? You could have left the Juh-man there, for that's fun. Anyway... {typing} Unfortunately, I've tried that once with an even sadder picture of a burnt legless puppy named Lil'est Brudder.
{Gunhaver shows us a crude drawing of a sad puppy with no legs and burnt marks all over its body.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} It cracks me up, but it makes other people cry, except for Blue Laser. Here is a flashback.
{We cut to a room in Blue Laser's HQ. Gunhaver is holding the drawing of Lil'est Brudder while the two Blue Laser minions (Carl and Barney) are on the floor, crying their eyes out. Then Blue Laser comes.}
BLUE LASER: WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON HERE? ARE YOU CRYING BECAUSE OF SOME DRAWING BY GUNHAVER?
GUNHAVER: Hey Blue Loser, cry over this.
{Gunhaver shows the drawing at Blue Laser. There's no effect, but Blue Laser takes it.}
BLUE LASER: GIVE ME THAT! WHAT'S SO SAD ABOUT THIS PIECE OF CRAP?
{Suddenly, Gunhaver falls onto the floor and begins crying hysterically.}
{Then we go back to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Not a pleasant encounter. I think Blue Laser has a heart of... an iceberg, literally. But I did make another novelty drawing. Flashback time!
{Then we go to a desk with papers and pencils. Gunhaver shows us a picture of Rodgort the Freezinator.}
GUNHAVER: Ta-da! Rodgort the Freezinator. Here are my step-by-step trusty, somewhat rusty, instructions!
{Then we cut to lined paper. Gunhaver's right hand is seen holding a pencil.}
GUNHAVER: To begin, draw a Z {draws a Z on the paper} for zebra, er dragon. Ah, whatever. Next, we'll draw a more different Z. {draws another Z connected to the other} For the top, add a right triangle with the right side facing the right, duh. {draws a right triangle at the end of the two Zs at the top with the 90 degree angle facing the right} Add eyes {draws angry eyes into the triangle}, claws {draws claws onto the Zs}, muscular legs {draws muscular legs at the bottom of the Zs. Then he draws teeth at the bottom of the right triangle and suddenly, spikes on the tail and a spiky shell on the back of the "dragon"}.
GUNHAVER: Whoa! Problematic! I need to start over. This is the Dorkinator.
{Gunhaver writes The Dorkinator below the dragon before drawing on a new sheet of lined paper.}
GUNHAVER: All right, starting over. First, draw a Z {draws a Z on the paper), followed by a different Z {draws another Z connected to the other}. Close it up real good at the top for its head {makes an attached, round, open-mouth head}, and then, using, Vs, give him teeth, angry eyes, and spiky wings {he does so while adding square-ish legs}. Then, you can add scales, and instead of claws, a beefy arm with spiky bracelet stuff, like Bowser {he adds scales onto the dragon as well as a beefy arm coming from its back (it has the aforementioned spiky bracelet)}. Ooh! It's done! Let's name it, Rodgort the Freezinator {he writes that under the dragon}. And now, let's, give him those rays of majesties {he does so}. And voila!
{We cut back to Gunhaver in front of the Orange 02 (this is still the flashback).}
GUNHAVER: {typing} So there's my dragon, Reziak. Let's see how the other students are doing.
{Cut to a room in the Cheat Commandos HQ with a long table. We cut to Gunhaver approaching Ripberger, who is drawing with a paper and pencil. Ripberger quickly draws an anime zebra with wings and fire coming from its mouth.}
RIPBERGER: {Japanese}
GUNHAVER: That sucks! For one thing, it's not even a dragon! I said dragon! DRAGON! Not a zebra! {walking away} He doesn't know cool stuff if it came and kicked his butt.
{Then we cut to Gunhaver approaching Arrowhaver drawing a dragon that looks pretty lame with a slate and chalk.}
GUNHAVER: That looks pretty lame.
ARROWHAVER: Yeah, I did it on purpose.
GUNHAVER: Why? {walks away}
ARROWHAVER: I dunno.
{Then we cut to Gunhaver and Reynold, who has created a masterpiece dragon.}
GUNHAVER: Oh crap! You did better than me. There's one way to safe my dignity.
{Gunhaver takes out his pistol and shoots several holes into Reynold's paper with the dragon, ripping the drawing into shreds.}
REYNOLD: What??? You just did that to save your dignity!
GUNHAVER: I already said that. Anyway, I'm going to freeze these pieces of crap, so Rodgort wins the day.
{Cut to a black and white pencil-drawn scene of Rodgort. Rock music is playing in the background.}
Rock music played by Crackotage and Fightgar.
GUNHAVER: {screaming} RODGORT!!! RODGORT!!! {singing} Rodgort was a dog! I mean, he was a dragon-dog! Or maybe just a dragon. But hey, he's still RODGORT!!! RODGORT!!! Freezinating the countryside! Freezinating the people! Freezinating all the villains! And the stupid LAKE WATER! LAKE WATER!!!
{We cut back to Gunhaver in front of the Orange 02.}
GUNHAVER: And the Rodgort comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!
{The Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at: gunhaver@homestarrunner.com. Then we go back to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001 in the real world.}
GUNHAVER: No, it's: And the Rodgort comes in the DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!!!!!!!!
{The Paper comes down, saying: No, click here to email Gunhaver at: gunhaver@homestarrunner.com.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on Arrowhaver's drawing of a dragon to make this happen before the part with Reynold:
{Gunhaver approaches Firebert, who made a 3D model of Rodgort, only it's not very detailed.}
GUNHAVER: Get out of here until you think of a better commando name, not a 3D model! {walks away}
Firebert: {sad Cheatish sigh}
- Click on the computer screen at the end to see an animation with the drawing of Lil'est Brudder being rolled around because it has no legs.
Fun Facts
- The first part of this email is based on crying, with the drawing.
- Lil'est Brudder is based on Li'l Brudder.
- The whole part with the email rap is also somewhat based on the email rap in the said email.
- The whole Gunhaver getting mad about how Cletus named him is based on Enctrypted, where he shows us the Cheat Soldiers, an example cartoon with the characters with names that discriminate them.
- Yes, that's where the Cheat Soldiers show was made
- Take this as a warning, or Gunhaver will be mad at you (or not).
- Yes, that's where the Cheat Soldiers show was made
- Gunhaver's pronunciation of Jman is based on Video games, where Jman was the emailer.
- "... trusty, somewhat rusty..." is from long pants.
- The rest of this email parodies dragon, from the drawing of the two dragons down to the dragon-drawing class down to the song of the featured dragon.
- This is one of the Gunhaver emails that follows the plot of an actual Strong Bad email (or actually, only the second part follows the plot).
- Rodgort was made in the Deleted Scenes of Black Laser (the link is below Black Laser in the menu) and was featured in Rangeresque.
- Bowser is the main antagonist of the Mario games.
- The Dorkinator references Bowser in its claws with the spiky bracelets and the spiky shell.
- This is the first time we see Gunhaver's pistol actually work.
- Reziak is Kaizer spelled backwards.
- Kaizer sent the email to Strong Bad in dragon.
- This is the first time we see the Orange 02 in a while (it was destroyed in Virus, and this is the first email to show both the Orange 02 and the Delta 1001 (except for Black Laser, but they were mutant computers).
- The dragon part of this email can be counted as a lost Orange 02 email, but I'm not posting it up separately.
