Fake Character Email Dan/music

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Dan talks about his singing career. Or lack thereof.

Cast (In order of appearance): Dan, The Cheat, Michelle (Mentioned), Victor (Easter Egg), Tristan (Easter egg), The On Point Kings

Places: Dan's Computer Room, The Basement, Tristan's room, The Stick

Date: July 28, 2007

Lines: 52

Transcript

{Open on a view of the computer room. There are a few balloons and chip packets on the floor. Dan comes in and looks around in confusion}

DAN: What happened in here? Did some kinda party bomb go off or something? {Looks around again} Okay, time to check-a some email.

{Dan sits down at the computer.}

DAN: {hums} And then I checked my email.

subject:BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo YO!!! Check this shtuffniz, mutha!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-rct5rfgAo

From The Place you feared most as a child (AKA Your Mother's Room)

{Dan reads the email in a bored tone, and stumbles a bit over the pronunciation of "shtuffniz". He reads the YouTube link as written.}

DAN: {Typing} Ooh, my first spam-mail. Time to try out that deleting screen The Cheat made for me. DELETED!

{The word "DELETED" appears on the screen in front of an explosion. The background is red. Then the screen returns to normal.}

DAN: Ah, that felt great. What else do you got for me, Lappy?

{Dan brings up the next email}

subject:music videos

Hey Strong Ba...er...Dan.
Have you ever been in a music video or have
done any singing?

Dylan (a.k.a. Aruseus)

{Dan reads "Aruseus" as "Aroo-soos"}

DAN: {typing} Dear Aruseus. What's with all this Cool Name I mean Boring Name stuff? Your pal, Strong Bad. Only Strong Bad. {types 'send'. The Lappy displays 'Message sent'. Dan clears the screen.} Anyways, what do you mean have I done any singing? Of course I have! I've been singing since the day you were born! I have my own recording label! {Stops typing} The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {Offscreen} What?

DAN: Some Pokemon wants to know about my record label. Go find my latest CD. I think I left it in the couch or something.

THE CHEAT: {Offscreen} Whatever.

DAN: {Typing} In fact, I could give you a free demonstration, right now! {Stops typing, clears throat}

{singing} It's like... It was meant to be.
I'm not kidding
It's like it was meant to be...
{makes guitar noise}
I'm not kidding!
No, I'm not kidding
I've never been more serious in my— {A CD case hits him on the head} Ow!

{Not singing} The Cheat! Watch where you're throwing those things!

THE CHEAT: {Offscreen} Sorry.

{Dan picks up the CD case, looks at it and shows it to the camera. It is Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits. The cover art is exactly the same.}

DAN: {typing} This isn't my latest CD. I released this one, like, four years ago. And that's almost how many copies I sold! I covered all the greats. You, know... Limozeen, Taranchula, um, The Kinda Long Haired Band... All those guys. But then {disgusted tone} Michelle heard about it. I had to let her contribute a few tracks to the album just so she'd shut up about how many trees died to make the cover art. And then Victor wanted to add a song. I let The Cheat deal with that one. I guess he got rid of him. {Inspecting the back cover} I mean, I don't see it listed anywhere. {Clears screen} Okay, music video. Yeah, I've been in a few of those. Mostly The Cheat makes them for me in Flash. And let me tell you, anything animated in Flash does not look so good. Check it out:

{Dan types 'run new boots.swf'. New Boots starts playing on the screen. Powered by The Cheat Dan is spinning a basketball on one hand and dribbling another basketball with the other hand. Powered By The Cheat The Cheat comes onscreen wearing cowboy boots}

POWERED BY THE CHEAT DAN: The Cheat, I can't believe what cool boots you have on, where did you get them?

POWERED BY THE CHEAT THE CHEAT: A cu—

{Dan closes the flash movie and shudders}

DAN: {Typing} Okay, so that wasn't a music video, but as you can see, Flash cartoons are horrible. All of them. And what's wrong with my voice? I sound like a... vole. With acute laryngitis. {Short pause} Man, where is everyone today? Normally I woulda got interrupted like five times by now. Hello? Dumpface? Dumpbutt? ...Strong Bad?

{Dan types 'the_paper.exe' and The New Paper is printed out.}

DAN: Whoa. I'm gonna miss the preeeow.

{He holds it above the computer screen. It reads 'Click here to email Dan.'}

Easter Eggs

• Click on 'Dumpface' to see where Victor is.

{Victor is lying in front of the couch in the basement}

VICTOR: Oh... That's the last time I drink a gallon on Mountain Dew... mixed with a gallon of melonade...

• Click on 'Dumpbutt' to see where Tristan is.

{Tristan is barricading the door to his room, moving his bed, his desk, and his wardrobe in front of the door.}

• Click on 'Strong Bad' to see where Strong Bad is.

{Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat are at The Stick}

STRONG BAD: So then I told Marzipan, that's not radish, that's my sister!

{All laugh}

STRONG MAD: SUCH WIT!

Fun Facts

• I first used the line about a vole with laryngitis in Reality is a Harsh Mistress. No, I'm not reusing jokes. I'm making references, shut up.
• I wrote this when I was tired and not feeling very inspired or funny. So it's probably not very good, sorry.

Dan Emails
argument | pirate | mystery | date | doppelganger | cheat-o-logne | fanfic | music | upside-down