Other Character Email Tampo/kids' show

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Tampo Email #8: "kids' show"

Summary: Thanks to Jaku, we get to see how Tampo and company would be like in a kids' show!

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, 1-Up, Stinkoman, Pan Pan

Places: Computer Room, Fun Box, Paper World, Cube Land, A Field

Length: 106 Lines

Date: April 12, 2005

Transcript

{Everyone's at the Plasma.}

BRODY: We're ready to go!

STLUNKO: I am fully recharged.

TAMPO: Good. Okay... {singing} Email me! Email me! Email me now!

{Stlunko opens the email and Tampo reads it.}

Dear Tampo,
Have you ever considered making your own TV show?
I think the kids would love you and your friends.
Keep on tranglin',
Jaku

BRODY: TV?

STLUNKO: TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to send video and audio feeds over long distances to be projected onto screens of individu...

TAMPO: Thanks Stlunko, but that's enough. Basicly it's the predecessor of the Holo-Room. Anyway, a TV show for kids, huh? I saw one of those once. 'Cept it was on the holo. That was a while ago, when I was really bored and I was just surfing through the stations. I couldn't stand watching it for more than ten seconds.

BRODY: I don't think I could stand being in one of those things.

TAMPO: Yeah. But I do know quite a bit about them. And I must say, I don't think us powerful bosses could handle being in a sugared-down show like those things. However, I'm sure for the right price, we could survive. And if we could get Stinkoman to join, things might get a little bit interesting...

{The screen fades to the inside a brightly colored box. The far side is so stretched out, the end of the box is not visible. The camera is flying down this path, boxes, colors and other objects help show the motion. Different things happen as the lyrics are sung.}

NARRATOR: {male voice, singing}

You are entering a world of 20X6 fun,
Games and surprises for almost everyone!
Tampo's a brain and he'll be your guide, {Tampo appears and gets passed by the camera.}
Stlunko is a robot, smart and quite wide! {Stlunko is sitting on the floor, and gets passed by.}
Fun time with Brody will fill up your brain, {Brody's head is sticking up from the floor in a hole, and is also passed by.}
But beware the 1-Up! He's snitching again! {1-Up pokes his head through a hole in the wall, and then retracts it.}
Stinkoman's evil and must be smitten, {Stinkoman stands in the center, but is then squashed from a falling block from above. He is then passed by.}
Pan Pan's fat blubber is as warm as a mitten! {Pan Pan is passed by.}
Watch this show, it sure is a wow-er!
For the name of this show is... Tampo's Fun Hour! {The end of the box is finally reached and the movement stops. "Tampo's Fun Hour" is painted on the end.}

TAMPO: {narrating} Man, it would take millions to make me take part in that crap!

BRODY: {narrating} Yeah...

{Scene changes to Tampo floating in a paper cut-out world. There's a tall skinny house to his right and a big tree to his left. Several paper cut-out decorations lie in the background.}

TAMPO: {in a happy voice} Hello, kids. Who wants to have fun?

{Several offscreen kids talk at once, all saying "Yes!" or "Me!" in some form.}

TAMPO: Then let's play Find the Stinkoman!

{The kids talk together in a agreement.}

TAMPO: Okay kids, what should we use to find him? The finger...

{A pointing glove appears onscreen to the left, highlighted.}

TAMPO: ...the eyeball...

{An eyeball with blood vessels and everything appears in the middle, highlighted. The glove loses its highlight.}

TAMPO: ...or the acid gun?

{A laser gun-like weapon appears to the right with a skull and crossbones on it. It is highlighted and the eyeball loses it's highlight. After a few seconds, the highlight disappears as the kids say several different things at once, most of which being things like "One," "Two," and "Finger."}

TAMPO: That's right, kids! We should use the acid gun!

{The kids shout out exclamations of agreement.}

TAMPO: Okay dumb children, where's Stinkoman hiding?

{The three onscreen choices disappear and a acid gun comes out from directly under the camera. The kids all mumble unintelligibly.}

TAMPO: That's right! Let's try to the tree!

{The kids all mumble in agreement. The gun moves to the right and shoots the tree, causes it to melt. Stinkoman was standing behind it.}

STINKOMAN: Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you asking for a CHALLEEEEENGE?!

TAMPO: {in mock horror} Oh, no! What will we do?

{The kids all mumble together, some words like "Challenge" and "Shoot" stand out.}

TAMPO: Great idea!

{The acid gun shoots Stinkoman and he falls onto the floor, smoke rising from his blackened middle.}

STINKOMAN: {shouting painfully} The challenge! It's burns! Burns!

TAMPO: Now that was fun!

{The kids all mumble in agreement and excitement. The screen fizzes out, and when it comes back, Brody is in Cube Land. His head is sticking out of a hole in the ground. There are two barrels of pudding by him. On his left is yellow banana pudding, and on his right is brown chocolate pudding. The barrels are both marked with "P."}

BRODY: Hello, kids! It's pudding time! Do you know what letter "pudding" begins with?

{The kids talk all at once, most saying "P!" One is heard saying "Christopher Columbus."}

BRODY: That's right! Peeeee!

{The P's on the barrels highlight for a second. Then suddenly 1-Up comes running in and "grabs" the barrel of chocolate pudding and starts running away into the background with it, going around cubes.}

BRODY: Oh, no! 1-Up snitched my pudding! Hurry, kids! Help me get it back! Repeat after me: Don't snitch pudding! Don't snitch pudding!

{The kids chant with Brody. After they finish, 1-Up stops running in the background.}

1-UP: Oh, man! You caught me! At this rate I'll never be the guy!

{1-Up walks back to the front and drops the barrel of pudding back where it belonged. Then he runs away to the side.}

BRODY: Thanks, kids! You saved my pudding!

{The kids cheer in happiness, many saying "Yay!" The screen fizzes out. When it comes back, the camera is in a green field, with Stlunko in the middle, all by himself. Pan Pan occasionally bounces around in the background while Stlunko talks.}

STLUNKO: Are you kids ready to learn?

{The kids shout "Yes!" and similar exclamations.}

STLUNKO: Good. Today we are learning about TVs. Ready?

{The kids mumble positive answers.}

STLUNKO: TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to send video and audio feeds over long distances to be projected onto screens of individual sets in private and public locations for personal and public use. It was used for education and entertainment purposes. Replaced in the twenty-second century by the holovision.

{The kids cheer and several say, "Again! Again!"}

STLUNKO: TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to send video and audio feeds over long distances to be projected onto screens of individual sets in private and public locations for personal and public use. It was used for education and entertainment purposes. Replaced in the twenty-second century by the holovision.

{The kids cheer and several say, "Again! Again!"}

STLUNKO: TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to send video and audio feeds over long distances to be pro-

{The screen fizzes out and returns to the Robot Warehouse, where the three bosses are still in front of the computer.}

TAMPO: Ugh, enough of that! I take back what I said. No amount of money would ever get me on one of those things.

BRODY: Same here.

STLUNKO: I disagree.

TAMPO: What?

BRODY: {simutaniously} What?

STLUNKO: I would get to use my knowledge to help the younger generation.

TAMPO: {sarcasticly} Right... {normal voice} Well, I've had enough stupid emails for today.

{The "Click here to email Tampo appears onscreen.}

Easter Eggs

Clicking on the "P" on the banana pudding during the Brody sequence will change all the background objects. Clicking on it once will change them from cubes to pyramids, then to spheres, then to cones, then to cylinders, and then back to cubes.
Click on the "CameraBot" icon on the Plasma at the end of the email to unlock an additionial sequence from the kids' show.

{Cut to Stinkoman in a notebook-land. There are drawings around him: a can, a tree, a sink and a duck.}

STINKOMAN: Okay, kids, we're gonna to CHALLE- I mean, {grabs paper from behind back and reads, then puts it away} play "Where's The Chibi?". Can you say, "The Chibi"?

{The kids mumble stuff like "Boo!" and "Challenge!" and "Chi-ee."}

STINKOMAN: That was horrible! DOUBLE DUECE!!!

{Stinkoman flies at the camera in the double deuce attack. It knocks the camera back to reveal that they are in a set with equipment. The screen fizzes and blinks, and a crack forms onscreen.}

DIRECTOR: Cut!

Fun Facts

Stlunko saying that he is fully recharged refers to the last email, "chickens," where he was taking a break.
Jaku writing "Keep on tranglin'" in his email is a reference to the Strong Bad Email "lunch special," where Strong Bad changed the sender's misspelled "Sincerly" into the phrase.
Different parts of Tampo's section and Stinkoman's easter egg are references to the Strong Bad Email "for kids." Prime examples are "Find the Stinkoman/Chibi" and Tampo saying "Alright dumb children." Another reference is a kid saying "Christopher Columbus" in Brody's section.
Stopping a thief by chanting a phrase is a reference to the kids' show Dora the Explorer, where Swiper the Fox can be stopped by a similar chant.
Saying the words "Again! Again!" and repeated the same content multiple times is a reference to the kids show Teletubbies.

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