Emails 4 you!

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Welcome, users and userettes, to the list of emails you can use for your very own show!!! Use them when you're dry. Do not use them if you already have an email in your inbox. Just replace the ... at the top with your user/character name! And replace the :::s and ;;;s with different characters from your show! Anyone can donate emails, just don't delete them! And don't use your own emails!!!

Contents

By User

Put each user's donations in a ===section===!


Zippy the Platypus

dear (name spelled wrong and in lowercase)
do u liek anime
form inuyashafan2142367753552

Homsardude1

Dear ...
Have you ever beat the crud out of :::s
From,
Hamsardude1

Tiggera

...!
What do you do when you have a song stuck in your head?
Randomly Emailing,
T. Gerra
Heyb ...,b
Ib spilledb sodab onb myb keyboard.b Hasb thisb everb happenedb tob you?b
Hopingb youb canb readb this,b
Tiggerab

Witchesbrew82

DonutHead41

Dear ..., 
YOUR SYSTEM HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE PEEKACHEW VIRUS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
-Some virus guy.
Dear ..., 
What would everything be like if you were elected the next King of Town?
From,
DonutHead41

Ultrapoopaw

 Dear ...,
I like popsicles, but mine
melted. Would you buy me a
new one?
Yours,
Ultrapoopaw
 Dear ...,
Has ::: ever done anything
extremely stupid, like sticking
their head in a pencil sharpener?
Yours,
Ultrapoopaw

Chwoka 

Dear ;;;,

Why did ::: chew off :::'s {body part}? It was gross! You gotta go stop him/her/it!

Insert witty comment here,
Chwoka

TheCheese

Yo ...,
Do you have any bad habits?
Crapfully mine,
TheCheese
Hi ...,
If you could have any job in the world,
what would it be?
Your comrade,
TheCheese
DEAR ...,
SPORTS ARE FUN SOMETIMES!
PLAY THEM SOME?
YOURS,
THECHEESE
...,
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if
a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Answer me please,
The Cheese (wow, that rhymed!)
EWW!
Those red blotches on your back look serious!
You need to go see a doc or something!
<Write whatever here>
TheCheeseyGuy
ATTENTION!
I HAVE STOLEN YOUR UH...UNCLE REMUS!
GET HIM IN THAT BACK ALLEY AT THAT PLACE!
BRING MONEY AND BLING WORKS TOO!
COME WITHIN 1 hour and 37 minutes,
ANONY
Sup ...?
I normally play video games all day,
but my electricity's out. What can I do 
when I'm bored to death in the dark?
-TheCheese
 To whom it may concern,
What is the worst email you ever recieved? EVER!
Your fan probably,
TheCheese
...,
If you caold travel anywheres in the world, where
would you go?
Your Blahdy blah,
TheBlah
 Hey ...,
Do youi realize that there is some person that writes
your transcripts and controls your very existence?!?
-TheCheese
What's Crackin' ...?
Have you ever played Grand Theft Auto?
My mom says it's bad.
Tell me what it's like,
TheCheese
...,
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Your shizzle to my nizzle,
TheCheese
Hey ...!
Have you ever been to this one website?
It's called fanstuff.hrwiki.org and it's pretty weird.
Like, I don't even know ow to send an email!
From TheCheese
Yo Yo ...
What was it like back in the day?
Your camaraderie,
TheCheese
Hay ...!
Isnot eet anoyin whin yu git emals liik thees?
Eet Driivs Mee Nuuts!!!!11!!
Yore Pale,
ThuCheez
Hey!
What do you prefer?
Paper or Plastic?
Cuz' y'know, that's like, hard, y'know!
-TheFriggin'Cheese
Hmmm....
Do you have a phone number? I really want to call you for a date if 
you're a gal and prank call you if you're a dude.
-BrothaCheese
...,
Wat is your fave Television show that is not aired anymore?
Eating Cheese Right Now,
TheCheese
Just wondering,
What would you do if you never got any emails?
Would you make some up, or do something else?
Some funny ending involving crap,
TheCheese
If you could have any superpower,
what would you have?
Form
That Guy Named TheCheese
Hi whoever you are,
Have you ever gotten a chain letter? Ugh, so annoying.
Now forward this to 56 peeps in the next 4 minutes and your
true love will be revealed by clicking F4.
From,
Anonymous
HI ...!
THIS IS STRONG MAD!
COME OVER TO MY HOUSE TO PLAY GAMES!
LOVE!
STRONG MAD!
Hey person,
Do you listen to old records?
Which is your favorite old disgusting record?
Bye,
TheCheese
HI!
What horrors are lurking in your attic?
It's gotta be cool up theres?
TheCheese
You, ...eth, are hereby summoned to thy meetingeth
of oldeth people at thy senor centereth
Frometh,
The Old People at the Senior Centereth
 ...!
When you were littler, did you ever get punished?
How were you punished?
Your homeslice,
TheCheese
Yo ...!
Have you ever had a boyslashgirlfriend?
Your pally-wally,
TheCheese
Help!
Some criminal stole my candy bar!
What do I do?
Uhhh...
Patrick
Hello,
Have you ever been to space?
It's pretty roomy.
Your hopeful pal,
Nebulon
Wazzap ...?
If you could just step into a wrestling and beat up one person,
who would it be?
-TheCheese
ATTENTION!
YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO BE OUR MILLIONTH LOG-ON...ER!
JUST CLICK HERE TO GET 3 WISHES!
Say,
if you had a million dallors, what would you do with it?
Give it to charity, burn it, or do something else?
Your favorite emailer named TheCheese,
TheCheese
Yo yo! What's crackin' in the hizzle G?
Can yous be rapping? Me, I rap day and night,
cuz' I'm outta sight! Why don't you rap, homes?
Peace,
TheCheese4life
Hi Person P. Personerson,
How can I win the contest if Thy Dungeonman keeps sneaking up on me?
Yours untruly,
Mr. Cheese
This is enter name of computer.
Your enter name of computer may or may not have been infected with the Ohjustnothing virus.
Please destroy your enter name of computer and anyone else
who gets in your way, and some who didn't.
-Enter name of computer
Right in front of you
YO!
What is the most annoying thing ... has ever done?
Your favorite cowboy (probably),
Cheesy The Kid
Hey guy,
How's life? Just wanted to uh...tell you that Homestar is having
a Beebeecue and was wondering if you wanted to come. 
This is NOT Homestar!
Love,
Homestar
Dear whoeveryouare,
How do you like your eggs?
Your pally,
TheCheese
yoyoyoyooyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyooyoyo,
Sorry, just playing with my yo-yo. Um..what's your opinion?
Your person,
TheCheese

Stotheb

Einoo

Dear (your name spelled incorrectly),
When was the last time you had an argument with :::, and what was it about?
With lots of groan,
Einoo
Deer ...,
D0 yu now teh mnuffin man?
Sincereerely,
Homestsar runer
Dear ...,
Which year was the worst year of your life?
Censored-ly,
Einoo
Dear ...,
De do do do, de da da da is all I want to say to you.
Ecilop
Dear you,
Have you ever had to take out the garbage,
And how did you manage to get out of it?
Something about crap,
Sporky

Limoman

Hi <blank>
Whats it like at <blank>'s
place
Your Pal
Limoman
Hello <blank>
Do you know who <blank>
is once you meet him you'd want to see
him again
Forever young
Limoman
Dear <blank>
I've noticed you've never seemed to get sick.
How do you stay so darn healthy?
~Limoman

Markie & BurnBox

AGGGGGHBLBLBLBLBL.
This is the Mushroom Embassy, regretting to inform ::: 
that you have lost a red coin.
You will be fined for no reason.

-Watteson Kurinashu Toadyton Zubambe
Jonessers Grephidus Nackella Jr. the 193,394th
Say, :::,
Would you like a cup of Joel Dawson?
NOT the person named ::: or :::

Dennis Dunjinman

Dear ----,
Have you tried playing Dungeons and dragons? It doesn't have to be real, 
it could be a penciled board with old action figurines you've collected 
over the years.
Not a bad idea,
Dennis Dunjinman 
Hey You!
Is there anyone you want to kill?
Anyone? And how would you like them
dead? Because I am a paid assassin!
I'll kill people for the right price.
          before they kill you,
Dennis Dunjinman
Did you see the      last night?
It was awesome how they shot left and right,
and that one teamplayer scored 600 points!
A teamplayer,
Dennis Dunjinman
Dear ::::
What is yourfavorite pastime?
Mine is hitting Dominic in the face.
A whole ton of candy is in my apartment,
Dennis Dunjinman
What would you do :::: if a dinoshaur came up to you?
Denny
Dear ----,
If I draw a picture of you, will I
get a trinket? Or some recommedation to others 
for my art?
A stuggling artist,
Dennis
Dear ---
What is in your basic diet?
Ice cream? Goats? Total crap?
Or you might not eat, and that's okay.
Dennis Dunjinman
Do you end up hungry around noon? 
Do you always feel tired after you
stay up too late? Well, now's your 
chance to get better luck! Just send
this message to 10 people, and your 
package will arrive shortly.
Not a sham,
Dungeonman.

Hey ----!
You must be tired with all the things
you have to do and junk. Why don't you
go to an amusement park, with the fun
rides, tasty food, and atmosphere!
Have Fun!
Dennis Dunjinman
Dear ::::
What would it be like if 
you and s::: and s:::
were on nickelodeon GUTS?
Extreme to the max,
Dennis Dunjinman
Yo, ::::
What it the most life-scarring
thing that happened to you 
when you were a kid?
     
Yeah, I mean it.
     -Denny
;;;;,
Why did you start your e-mail show?
-Denny Waffleguy
"Sniff"
::::, I can't believe it!
It's my birthday, and no
one remembered! "Sniff"
Tears dripping on my keybord,
-Amy Whifflepoof
Dear;;;;,
when was the last time you
decided to do something 
totally violent!?
Punching my walls,
-Denny and Amy
Oh my gosh! You read this!
If you could write your own
email to someone, what would
it be? Could you write it now?
I'm waiting,
Dennis Dunjinman
Dear ;;;;
What if you moved away from {insert home town}?

-Denny's menu 
Dear sweaty guy,
 
With the summer months upon us, it's too hot to do anything.
How about you jump into a cooool pooool.
 
            Chill'n
        That Goat Rambler
Dude, dude man!
 
How many made up words can you cram into one e-mail?

Mendy and Dongy e-mail writer
Ummmmmm...
 
I really think you should make a map of your
 town, especially if some tourists will come. I know I want to.
 
                        Yeah, whatever,
                      Miranda
Hey! Technical e-mail guy!
My e-mail says I e-maled a message to myself
about hamtaro crap and I got a million e-mails
sent! The only problem is the recorded time
stamp doesn't match, considering I was off 
the internet, my house was locked, my parents
were at work and I was in Pontiac miles away!
Give me an answer,
Desperate e-mail guy.
You stink!
Man, I can smell you from lightyears away.
Aliens can smell you from space. No matter how many 
coats of deodarant you use, you still
smell! Get rid of the smell, stinky guy!

I don't want to smell you later,
Not so smelly guy. 
You, yeah, you.
If you wrote a book/fan fic/cartoon series,
what would it be about, and 
would it be accepted by publishers?

-J. G. Rollins
Hey there, Earth guy.
Would you like to visit my 
planet? That would be radical!
-Mark Chang
Hey there!
I on an e-mail-a-thon. I've been e-mailing every 
show with the same e-mail. Has anyone picked up yet?
E-mail junkie
Deer os nda osnda so fourth,
i ma reely tribl tipit. cen ouy hepl 
em wiht lal ym misstks? bcuz I neaf 
hlpe fi i ma ot tip a fne fik ro o-nali. 
cum ouy gif em losond? tak ni asvneca!
sperl'd rottn,
Donus Dngpnnam
Dear ::::
I am now in the hospital after falling in 
a huge hole on my bike. I'm covered in sores,
bandages cover my arms, and my mouth is wired 
shut! Can you get me something to do while I'm healing?
Bless your soul,
Debbie 

Dear ;;;;
Can you write a song about me and my awesomeness?
-Denny's menu

Hey!
I have the Internet monkey on my back. Can you get rid of it?
-Dennis,
Da dungeons
YO! I NEED TIPS!
HOW DO I WIN A CONTEST IF THE CHEESE KEEPS CATCHING UP?
-DENNIS DUNJINMAN
Dude ;;;;
What will you be doing for halloween?
-Halloween lover,
Halloween town
Hello ;;;;
The library is hosting a reading program.
If you read 12 hours, you get $5 bookstore
money! If you read 24 hours, you get $10
bookstore money! If your book review wins
the contest, you get a free digital camera!
-Reader guy,
WBLIB
;;;;, will you join?
The Spongebob assassination squad wants you!
We are a team, dedicated to destroying all 
things Spongebob to free the children from 
their brainwashed state. We will work for a better future!
-Spongebob hater#38
::::!
You are under arrest for stealing ;;;;'s
{insert item} and murdering ;;;;!
Don't try to escape, you're trapped.
-FCPD
Hello, young one 
Unusually strong with the force you are. 
At the Jedi council train as a Jedi we want you to.
Come to Coruscant you will to start your training.
-Den-Nis Jinnman,
Head of the new Jedi order
You are invited!
This e-invite gives you access 
to my movie night! Bring your own snacks!
-Dennis Dunjinman
Yo ----!
This game is hard, but I manage to create some good 
volleys across the level. It's easy when you know how to do it.
I am still the Supreme Master of all levels in Stinkoman!
-Dennis Dunjinman

Leo Thatkidsam Masdiktaht

Dear ...,
Have you ever stolen something?
Crapfully yours,
Thatkidsam
Hey ...,
Do you have psychic powers? They
are totally awesome.
From Leoooka.

E-102 Stinkoman

...,
Has you some time help find 1-Up Cheatachu?
Me no find him

E-102
Sweden?
..., ''{in all caps}''
TROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLL
TROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLL
TROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLLTROLL
E-102,
NOT DARK E-102
... ... ... ... ... ...
you suck
NOT e-102

grabboarm700

Dear ...,
  We regret to inform you that you have exeeded your
tissue bill. 
To keep your tissues, please send money,
or Tickets to E3 or something cool like that.

Sincerely,
grabboarm700,
Founder of Tissues Inc.
Dear...,
   This computer shall explode in 5 seconds after you read this letter.

Have a nice day,
 007mraobbarg 
Dear ...,
  Do you own a summer camp? 
If so, what is it like, what do people do there,
and is it an overnight camp?

Sincerely,
Grabboarm700
Dear ...,
   Why don't you start up a fair or something.
It would be really cool. Could you get me some ticket to it?

Sincerely,
Grabboarm700
Dear ...,
    We know you're hiding the Alien Hominid. You can't hide 
him from us. 
Bring him to us, or we'll come and destroy you.
-FBI

Zoo977 

Dear ...,
If you could make nicknames for everyone, 
what would they be?

Sincerely,
Zoo977

Dear ...,
Whet would you do if
you could make a new
building where you
live? What would it
be like?

Sincerely,
Zoo977

Conchris

Dear ...,
What daily activites do you do?
From NOT Conchris
Dear ...,
This computer has been infected with a noname virus.
Have a nice day,
Virus Sender
Dear (Your name in all caps)!!!
Do you hate Homsar? I hate Homsar!
Crapfully yours,
Homsar Hater
This system has been infected with 1000
different viruses virus. Have a nice day.

Conchris

Dear ...,
What daily activites do you do?
From NOT Conchris
Dear ...,
This computer has been infected with a noname virus.
Have a nice day,
Virus Sender
Dear (Your name in all caps)!!!
Do you hate Homsar? I hate Homsar!
Crapfully yours,
Homsar Hater
This system has been infected with 1000
different viruses virus. Have a nice day.

Stinkoman K

...,
I bet you really hate all that spam
that is sent around the world. Why
don't you make a spam filter so 
you won't get them anymore?

Stinkoman K

Young Roy 

Dear ...,
Why does Homsar talk funny?
Your whatever,
Young Roy
QWORENSK ...,   
QWORENSK QWORENSK QWORENSK QWORENSK QWORENSK! QWORENSK? QWORENSK QWORENSK QWORENSKY!   
QWORENSKLY QWORENSK,   
Mister QWORENSK
Hello ...,
This is Mr. Nintendo. If you've read this message, then within three days you
must burn your Sony and Microsoft systems (if you have any) and buy a Nintendo
system (Unless you have one) If you only have Nintendo systems, you're good to
go.
-Mr. Nintendo

Zachio

Hey, ...!

Have you ever thought of getting a new Computer?
Yours seems pretty worn out. What I'd do right no
To the User ...

Please subscribe to ZNews Weekly newsletter. 
It gives important newsm, such as when 
Homestar last picked his nose.

The Free Country Press

...! [All caps]
HI! I AM YOUR FRIEND

YOUR FRIEND
Subject:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Stupid
Um, yeah, I'm just sending this to everyone. pass it on.

Zachio


From your friendly neighborhood RocketMasterZ

Dear (Put your character name here),
Why do you hate The Cheat?
From RocketMasterZ

TheDenzel 

Dear <blank>,
You should make a poem!
It would be the best poem
ever written!
Your Buddy,
The(no space)Denzel!

Yo Yo, <blank>
What is your idea of the best
sandwich ever made? I am really
hungry and could use some ideas!
Starvin' to death,
TheDenzel

Dear Mr. (or Mrs) <blank>,
We regret to inform you that
we here at the Super-Dee-Duper
Real Estate company are reposessing
your home. I guess you'll have to
go live somewhere else now!
-Mr. T.D. Enzel

Dear <blank>,
What are some of your favorite hobbies?
You should share 'em with us!
-TD

Dear <blank>,
When was the last time you went on a trip?
Where did you go and what did you do
when you get there?
-Denzel,The

If you didn't answer emails, what would
you be doing instead?
-No name

Are you tired of spam?
CLICK HERE!
(No. It's not a virus...
...or is it?)

Don't press that button.

Dear ...
Who do you prefer/hate, ::: or ;;;?
This email was sent by an idiot.

Shwoo

Dear ,,,
What do you think it would be like if you were never born?
Sincerly,
Shwoo, AU

Hey ,,,
I just ran into a person who looked just like 
you, only with a goatee! Isn't that weird?!?!?
From oowhS

,,,
Don't you think you're ripping off Strong Bad a 
little? Doesn't that make you feel guilty?
Shwoo

hey i like cheese do u like cheese?
please reply

Greetings And Salvtations From The Far Off Year Of 239AD!
If Yov Are Reading This, Then Yov Are Iust One Of The Lucky Fev
Vho Can Read Dead Langvages. Congratvlations!
Please Send Cash Or Money To An Vndisclosed Location In The 
Roman Empire To Receive Your VONDERFVL Prize!
Love, Shvoo

Bubsgonzola 

Yo there, ...!
I was just wondering, ..., what's the most expensive thing 
you've ever bought?
From
20X6 Bubs(aka Bubsgonzola)

Znex 

Hi there ...,
A question for you: what would you have if you were at
a five star 24/7 all-you-can-eat restaurant where everything
was free?
- Znex

Homfrog 

Hey ...!
If you had a mythological pet,
or met a mythological character,
what or who would it be?
Your potato monger 
Homfrog

Dear Mr. ...
Your drycleaning is done.
Please come pick it up at the drycleaners.
Your number is 4,534,675,421,585,907.34
Okay, have a nice day!
The Zyzzyx Drycleaning Company
Mockingbird City
Tussia

Dear Whoever-face
THIS IS NOT A CHAIN EMAIL!
A guy in Boston forwarded this email to fifty people
and got a raise at his office job.
A dude in Seattle broke the chain and went bald.
And some person like you got run over by a steamroller
because they thought this was a chain email.
THIS IS NOT A CHAIN EMAIL!
Send this to fifty people and you won't go bald or get run over.
HIT FWD RIGHT NOW!

Helloooooo Nurse ...!
You look like you need a vacation.
Where would you go on vacation to RIGHT NOW?!?!
Lick lick lick...
-Homfrog

Dear ... wanna cracker,
What was the worst present you ever gotten?
Send it to me and I'll shred it.
I'm a forty-two-year old goat-face and I LOVE SHREDDING!
From Goat-face!

Dear ...,
Do you have a bottom 10 of school-related stuff?
If so, please present you bottom 10
of school-related stuff as if
it was one of those transparency slideshows.
That would be great, as I am just entering Pre-K.
-Timmy Toot-toot

Dear ... Guy
What's your favorite and least favorite kind of ladytype?
Mine is the office receptionist with a bun hairstyle.
Seriously serious and totally not Sirius,
Billy Tell Shakespeare Gardenpants Arbuncle McBolomann the second

Dear ...,
Who is ::: person? 
Why is drinking from my garden hose?
Why is he running around naked with a porcupine on his head?
Why is he tall and square and has no head?
Find out in this summer's hit blockbuster, ''The Madison Files''.
Danger lurks in your hedges... somethetimes.
Mrs. Gitters,
That old lady next door

HI THERE ...!!!1!!!1!!11!
By answering this email,
you have official adopted a zoo animal
in our Free Country Zoo
ADOPT-A-WEIRDO fair.
For three years you will pay monthly fees to keep
the '''Red Steckled Elbermung''
alive and well.
You cannot back out.
Also, would you like to have a zoo membership?
We sell popcorn and Trix Rabbit feet for fffrrrrreeeeeeee if neccessary. 
We salute you,
your local Free Country Zoo.

Would you rather eat 20,000,000,000 pomegranates
or lick a thousand cow butts?
This has been a Freecountrywide survey
only from Freecountrywide.
Freecountrywide runs on formaldehyde!

(note: the following email is actually a letter to someone else intercepted by you) 

Dear :::face
Has ...face every creeped you out
with the way he licks peanut butter off his politics?
And the way he neonazis the infomercial and the turnips?
What about the way he wallows in the Jedi Council?
And when he vikings his argyle watercress salad?
THAT DRIVES ME INSANE!
What about you, :::face?
-;;;face

I say there, Mr. ...!
Is it time for tea yet?
I'm starving as a badger in a bunghole.
Pip-pip cheerio,
Em.

Dear tiny ...man
Do you drink listerine like Coach Z?
What's the worst moment to have been drinking listerine?
I've been drinking listerine.
I vomited twice. WHY?!?!?!
I loveded you, vomit. I LOVEDED YOU!!
-Drunk Dude in A-lab-a-ma

Dear ...,
POOP!

Heh-heh-heh. Poop. That's random.
Anyways, what's the randomest thing
ever gone on to you? Eh?

From Buck-toothed in Boston

Dear Ultra-...,
When did you last see the wombat wearing chaps?
I heard it killed another dead furby.
Since then, I've locked my doors and windows and shampooed my rug.
Incorrectly,
Homfrog

Dear ...
Who did that lovely graffiti on my car?
It's so nice with the shnizzle this
and the B that. I wanna congratulate the little
OMG SUCKHEADFACEBUTTI'LLKILLYOUIFIT'STHELASTTHINGIDO!!!
AAARRRRRGGHHHHH
-AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHGHHGGHH

Dear Hello?
I no speak da Englais
Pleaso walka da batter!
Ongo plisko pigo Hugo
Yessswsss is nawt Engalis!
Herlp mr ello mi namyun!
Froo Goodbye

Dear ...,
It sure was cool that ::: beat up ;;;!
I wanna see it again.
Can you do an action replay?
Speaking of which, what is your opinion on action replays?
-Mr Anonny
Anonnyville, Anonnycountry!!!!!

Dear ...
How come it is, as a general rule,
that casual long-sleeved shirts don't have pockets?
It reeeeeally miffs me. MIFFS ME!
Hey, can you say 'vast herd' five times fast?
It's cool! What about 'seashell city'?
-Mr. Expletive

Do you like bathing?
Do you like having to bathe someone else?
I don't. I have to give my gramma a sponge-bath in two minutes.
GROSS!
-Grossedoutman

Dear ... and :::,
I have to go to a live "Grody Groundhog" concert with my grandpa.
What can I do to get out of this appearance that doesn't fit my styles?
-Smallboy who's with the times

Dear ...
I drank too much salty plum soda and now I'm floating on the ceiling.
What are some of your best burp techniques?
HELP ME GET DOWN!
-Stu

Hey ...!
When you were a kid, what didn't you have that kids today have?
I need this for a history report I'm writing on a G5 Widescreen
Apple Macintosh with a Bluetooth headset and a watermelon smasher.
Thanks person!
-Homfrog

Yo, Crunko...!
You should totally spray-paint something.
Spray-painting is the new wear-rings-with-letters-on-them-
and-punch-someone-so-the-letters-are-imprinted-on-their-face!
I mean it!
-Crunkyhathead

Dear Mssr. ...,
You have been formally invited to a fancy dinner
at le Chateau Eau de Fancy Dining d'oFauntleroy.
You may bring any relations you choose.
Please RSVP by 12:00 today.
Sincerely,
The Prench family across the street

Dear ...,
What's your favorite thing about the city?
Mine is sitting on warm taxi cabs' hoods.
What's yours?
-Homfrog

Hey ...,
I have to make a crappy slideshow
for a school event.
What are some ways I could get my revenge
on the school with this assignement?
-The Letter M

DEAR (name in caps)!
I HAVE SUCH A TERRIBLE HEADACHE!
PLEASE HELP ME! AARRRRGGHH!
-THROBULATOR, A BEING OF PURE HEADACHE!

Dear ...,
Have you ever dreamt you were
naked in public?
I have. What are some of your dream interpretations?
Cause I just dreamt I was in a pile of sunscreen on top 
of a giant blue opossum with radishes growing out of it's skin in a field. 
Weird, huh?
-Dreaming of you

Dear ...
I just invented a hypnosis crystal!
Click on the attachment to get one!
I hope you like it,
McGadget

attachment: hypno_cryst.exe

Hey ...!
When did you last exercise?
You've been looking kinda flabby.
-Not Flabby
Paris, TX

dear whoever
i dug up a treasure chest
have you ever found anything in the ground
i would want to share my galleons with you if you told me
from bite-sized yak
in cocomo

Hey ...!
Wanna play some video games I stole from the future?
It's really awesome, like Madden 2053 is the bomb!
Wanna?
-Videro Ninja

...guyfacepantserson!
The Dortugeuse Army has scheduled an attack on your house in 0100 hours!
Why do I know this?
I am a spy. A SECRET POOP DAWG SPY!
Wishing you luck,
SPY!

Hey ...!
What's a good idea for a science fair project?
I'm not gonna do a volcano or a plant or the way different color MMs taste.
I want a cool one!
Gimme!
-Homfrog

Dear ...,
What's your take on the creation of the world?
I'ma sueing the Kansas school board.
Yah!
-Homfrog

Dear somebody named ...,
What kinds of board games do you play?
And not just with Strong Sad, I mean with the right people.
With a heaping load of groan,
Homfrog

Dear (name spelled without proper spacing)...
What would you like as if
(place you live) was backwards?
Like, for example, Strong Sad would be happy
and Homsar would be smart.

Hey ...!
When's it your birthday?
What would you like for your birthday?
Ha-ha-ha,
Poopstick McSneezatron
Halloweentown, Idaho

Dear ...,
I'm deaf.
Can you please write some subtitles for your show
so I can watch it prooperly?
Thanks.
-Jill Poggi

Hey Masta ...!
When do the playoffs for your sports team begin?
I bought some tix but they ain't talking.
Riggidy-riggidy-rock'n'roll,
Kirsten
Plobabry China

...,
It was weird when you did that last email.
Please try again, 'cause I didn't get that certain good feeline.
Hanna Ti, M'Sup

Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Or whatever kind of animal person are you?
From a people person in AZ

Dear Plural ...
I have to play a dumb math game at school
probably about "fishing for fractions".
What games are good alternatives?
Or, what's a good way to get out of math games?
-Age 14

Liek, dear crapfaced ...
Liek, you know when peeps, liek 
say liek, liek, too much, liek?
Ain't it, liek, annoying, liek?
Liek-liek youze guyz,
The Liekand

Dear ...,
When does the sky clear up in your place of the world
and you get to look at the stars?
I want it to be cloudy tonight so my 
astronomer dad will cancel his
dumb astronomy party.
Your old faithful
-Homfrog

Who's a good ...?
Hey, ...,
I won a million dollars in the mail
and I was wondering what charities you guys in your town
have to give money to?
I've got so many mills bills, as in one,
I dunno what to do with it!
-Representative of Homsar
Yes, the Homsar who won the mills bills

Im a rock collector
and I don't like collecting rocks,
what Else could I collect?
With the tilt of the planet
-Invader Snark
the Planet Honus

subject: cereal
Hey ...!
Candy mountain, ...! Candy mountain!
Urr, I mean, you know what's cool?
Cereal! What would you make your own cereal like?
I SAID CEREAL!
Abusive Louis

subject: window
Dear Mr. (first initial) (last name),
I broke a window with a baseball bat.
How can I blame it on my twin brother?
Please invent your own twin brother just to be clear.
Thankfully,
Kelmenexsix

subject: More Money
Dear ...,
I need more money.
What are some ways to make some
other than a lemonade stand?
-Lemonhater

subject: Musical
Hey (character's named spelled as pronounced)!
If you made a musical, what would it be like?
And who would be the chunky one? Pom Pom or Strong Sad?
-The Mucus Man

subject: Arbor Day
Is it Arbor day yet?
I CAN'T WAIT!!?!
-Treehuggah

subject: Memory Eraser
To ...,
I saw Homsar in the nude recently.
IT WAS GROSS!
Will you wipe my memery?
You should be glad it wasn't you... ''shudder shudder'' ...observing.
-Momento Nora

subject: sports team
Dear (character's initials put in an acronym),
If you could invent a sport, how would you play?
I think it would be interesting.
-Rumble Red's grandson who's named Chuck

subject: upgrade
...,
Are You A Robot?
Because If You Are,
You Need A Serious Upgrade.
HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaheh heh... hehe. ''{throatclear}''
Bye.
-Chicago Cow Duck

subject: Scuba
Hey ...,<br/>
Have you ever gone scuba-diving? I lurve it.
What would you do if you got to go scuba diving?
-Ippil Pipple MacStipple-Bipple

subject: Hey ho, Hobo!
Dear ..., my bestest nephew!
I'm a shiny, melty, purple, Eh-Steve-ish vagabond
with twelve arms, and I'm coming
to your house after work/school!
I'll be staying for a few
days until my train comes by.
Don't you remember me?
I'm your Great-Uncle Sherbert!
You keep doing your thing.
-Great-Uncle Sherbert
P.S.: Got any cardboard boxes?

subject: tourette's
AARP EE ... FONKUTATE!
I have Tourettes.
I'm an endangered EEEECCCKK species.
Give me cookies!
-YUIOPQWERTY
(that's-a mah real name) 

subject: Payments
Mr. ...
You have been neglecting your payments
on your brand-new Humvee!
Well, okay, maybe not so new.
More like three years.
Anyways, you owe us $90,000 plus tax and S/H.
Have a nice day.
-Payments Collection Agency

subject: crapmails
Dearest ...
Why do you keep getting crap emails?
Is it because YO MAMA?
HAHAHA
-YO MAMA

subject: track race
Hey ...!
I heard you can run a mean
track race! Wanna race me?
I'm down at the tracks, today at
Two O' Clock.
-Homfrog

subject: story tale
If you've finished all your homework
Brushed your teeth and done your chores
And it's not too past your bedtime
Then your folks might tell you more
Of the NINE PIRATE GIRLS, PIRATE GIRLS, PIRATE GIRLS NINE!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9!

subject: meatball sub
Click here for a free meatball sub sandwich!

subject: foodstealer
...,
Why did I see :::
in your house taking your food
yesterday at Two O' Clock?
I talked with him and he said
to buzz off. So I did.
But seriously, why?
-Lapin de Pierre

subject: famous programmer
Hey ...io!
Lapin de Pierre, the famous
Tetris art programming guy
is coming to your house after school!
Who wants some Ovaltine?
Bye!
-Me!

subject: mutiny
Dear Mr. ...,
We have received your application and have accepted 
you for our new captain of the SSS Wasteoftree, a sleek
vessel capable of forty-twone knots a minute.
Our old and recently insane captain, Wario dressed as Cap'n Crunch,
has come down with a case of the YOU'REFIRED flu.
Pleae come and support us in our time of need.
-The Magic Schoolbus Kids, plus a sheep

subject: big head
Dear Whacko ...o
Why is your head so big?
I've heard all the other characters
insisting on how gargantuan
your big head is.
-A snowman with a mouth on his paunch and a steering wheel on his chest

subject: die
Dear ...,
What's your top ten worst ways to die?
-Curious Renegade 2275 of the Zeta Zeta Epsilon Renegadron

Strongstarhomebad

Dear ...,
Have you ever thought 'bout
challenging Pom Pom/Pan
Pan to a Karate match?
Legend has it that he is an
eleventh degree black belt
in four separate martial
arts.
-Strongstarhomebad

By OCE/WUE

Put emails sent to you here from the Strong Bad Emails, your Other Character Emails, or your Wiki User Emails! Put them in ===sections===! Created by . Available for everyone. Except trolls.

Puppet Strong Bad Email

subject: other qualities

Dear ...,
What other quantities do
you have besides the ones
that #..# has?
Your Fan,

(insert name here)

DjHerronEmail

...,

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

SPAMZOR

Sterrance Email

Dear ...,


Why do you only appear in one thing at
...? You should appear
in more!

Your master,

...

Glitters Email

(Misspelled Name of Character),
''{singing}'' Shiny Shiny bad times behind me
Shiny shiny shananana

How's that? I said no mercy!
(Stupid Name)

StinkOmega Email

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