Other Character Email Nebulon/box

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #7: "box"

Nebulon finds an odd box from Tampo's warehouse, and he and Charles find out what the things inside do.

Date: August 9, 2005

Cast (in order of appearance): Nebulon, Mechy, Guards, Tampo, Brody, The Piedmont, Megaxe, Charles, Astromunds, Ghype, Bob

Places: Nebulon's Base, Tampo's Base, Warehouse o' Parts

Length: 128 Lines

Transcript

{Nebulon is sitting at the Mechy 1337.}

NEBULON: This is the first time I've answered an email alone... {sadly singing} Email's alone...

MECHY: I must correct you. You are alone, not email. Email is having a wild party.

NEBULON: Thanks for the reassurance.

MECHY: You are most welcome.

{An email appears. Nebulon reads it.}

Dear N to the EB, hyphen-and-a-1!
I know who you are. No, I mean I know
who you really are. For real.
No foolin', yo.
-You know who

{He doesn't read the the top line, and instead just says "useless gibberish".}

NEBULON: You couldn't... no. No one knows my secret identity... I'm the Masked Alien. Now, you, you've probable heard the popular radi-cast program about me. It's all true.

MECHY: Accessing files on Masked Alien...

NEBULON: You do that. So, just in case you haven't heard of the Masked Alien, I'm this awesome guy who throws babies down steps, stomp on villages, and I take things from the rich and give to the poor. The rich being Tampo and the poor being myself.

MECHY: According to Everything In The Universe and More Wiki, the Masked Alien is a criminal. Crinal links to crime. Crime links to police numbers. Now reporting crimes... reported.

NEBULON: You can learn everthing, right?

MECHY: That is correct.

NEBULON: Well, now learn to put up a force field against police officers around this base.

MECHY: Completed.

NEBULON: As I was saying, I'm totally awesome. So now I will preform... a Tampo Raid!

{A choir in the background sings "Tampo Raid!" Cut to Tampo's Warehouse.}

NEBULON: Welcome to Nebulon's Three Steps to Raiding Tampo's Warehouse. Also called NTStRTW by the ones of us with slicker tounges. First, you go to the front door...

{He does.}

GUARDS: ATTAAAAAAAAAAACK!

NEBULON: The second step is to let the ignorant guards run right past you.

{They do.}

NEBULON: The last step is to HOARD! YES! HOARDING IS THE WAY! Let's see, necklace, jewels... where does he keep the good stuff these days? Ooh, a box!

{He heaves a box onto his back. Suddenly, the camera dissolves into silveries and "Random Encounter!" is displayed in red.}

TAMPO: Well, well, we meet again!

{"Obvious Statement" is displayed above Tampo. Letters bounce off Nebulon and sow "Resistance" above Nebulon.}

NEBULON: You must have had a pretty big brain to find me.

{"Bad Joke" is displayed above Nebulon, and words soak into Tampo. -10 is displayed above him.}

TAMPO: What were you doing in my warehouse?

NEBULON: I'm the maid.

{"Heavy Sarcasm" is displayed above Nebulon. "Instant Death" gets displayed over Tampo.}

TAMPO: GAH!

{Tampo falls over, unconsious.}

NEBULON: Yes! 1,000 EXP for me!

BRODY: {offscreen} Tampo?

{Cut back to Nebulon's base.}

NEBULON: Now I get to see what's in this box!

{He opens the box.}

NEBULON: Whoa, cool, a pyramid shaped minion with legs! This must have been when Tampo got addicted to Cold Ones. {He looks inside the pyramid.} It needs some parts to be replaced, but I can deal with that.

PIEDMONT: I will help you with your need parts, sir! {He begins beaming in some parts.}

NEBULON: Whoa! You can talk? Where's your mouth?

PIEDMONT: Elsewhere!

NEBULON: Uh, that's fine... I don't need a bicycle... or a dress... or a "#1" Glove... where are you getting these parts?

PIEDMONT: Ekersby's base.

NEBULON: Yeah... that's not a good place to get parts... just so you know...

PIEDMONT: Yes, but everyone else had thought of protecting their warehouses from beams stealing their things.

NEBULON: Then I shall enlist... the UNGURAITS!

PIEDMONT: I believe they are doing some stealing mission for some kind of creatures in the past.

NEBULON: Fine. I'll just use my own parts.

{Cut to the Warehouse o' Parts. Charles and Megaxe are at a workbench.}

NEBULON: {offscreen} Now I get to see what's in this box!

MEGAXE: A box! I ordered something that came in a box!

CHARLES: And why did you have it sent to Nebulon instead of yourself?

MEGAXE: Actually, it was a present...

CHARLES: And why did you send him a present?

MEGAXE: It wasn't for Nebulon! It was for Minicepick, my wife.

{An Astromund walks up.}

ASTROMUND: Grand leaders, I have taken this from Evil Nebulon at great cost!

{He holds out a piece of metal.}

MEGAXE: That's not what I-

VOICE: {muffled} Defences permeated. Estimated time to arrival of intruders: ten minutes.

{Cut back to Nebulon.}

NEBULON: Must be a glitch. Only Astromunds can break in here. Hmm... hand me the hula dancer.

PIEDMONT: I don't have any hands.

{He beams it to Nebulon.}

NEBULON: And we just stuff this in here... done. Ghype, activate!

{The pyramid blinks to life.}

PIEDMONT: {to himself} "Ghype"?

GHYPE: Well, hello 20X6! Don't anyone worry here, because Ghype is here to save the day!

NEBULON: Actually, you're built to ruin the day.

GHYPE: Well, that's just not possible, because every irresistibally has a good time with Ghype around! But I'll through sand in Cold Ones, and...

NEBULON: {sighing} Do you have any strength?

GHYPE: You kidding me? How else do I get the robot ladies? {He picks up a wall, and throws it across the room.}

NEBULON: Okay, I'm keeping-

VOICE: Estimated time to arrival of intruders: five minutes.

{Cut to the Warehouse o' Parts.}

MEGAXE: So, all we have to do is turn this on...

{The metal object buzzes, and the counter the machine is on vanishes.}

CHARLES: This will be helpful for stopping Tampo.

MEGAXE: You still want to stop Tampo? That's too bad. {loudly} You can enter, now.

BOB: {offscreen} Thank you.

{The door to the warehouse opens. Bob is standing there with his army of Astromunds.}

BOB: When Tampo's plans for attempted genocide failed, I thought my award reaping career was over!

MEGAXE: But it's not!

BOB: Yes. That's what that implied. Listen to your boss, please. So when your leader saved the Pigheads from Tampo's superior Crochumanians, I lost my wonderful spa. But I'll get it back when I get the only thing Nebulon has of value - WAKE UP!

CHARLES: Recovering from sleep mode... finished. What exactly do you want?

BOB: I'll settle for the location of your leader.

CHARLES: Well... he is down the stairs. On floor N. For Nebulon.

BOB: Thanks! Now I won't kill you! Thanks for being nice.

{He runs off.}

CHARLES: Well, I would presume I should now tell Nebulon that I trapped Bob and 200 Astromunds in the Negative Floor, where the secret weapon is...

ASTROMUND: Actually, that's the one marked with the Negative Sign.

{Cut to Nebulon.}

GHYPE: ...square-dance, bushdance, disco, twist, jig...

{Bob bursts in.}

BOB: Nebulon! So good to see you!

NEBULON: Hi, Bob. So what have you been up to?

{All the Astromunds point their guns at Nebulon.}

BOB: Working for Tampo.

{He removes the pig on his head, and instead there's a crocodile there.}

BOB: There are rumors that you aquired something powerful a bit ago, and you can either be shot or hand it over.

GHYPE: Oh, we're getting touchy? Or challengey? I'm up for a challenge.

BOB: Stinkoman?

GHYPE: Ha! He's a good challenge, but easy enough to take care of!

BOB: You know the secret of Stinkoman? The treasure will have to wait! YE-

{Ghype rams needle first into Bob.}

BOB: That thing is too powerful. {He looks at Ghype.} You little thing will lose-

{Charles jumps out of the elevator and rams Bob out the window.}

CHARLES: Well, he was annoying.

NEBULON: Ugh... what happened? Why didn't I do anything in a single action scene?

CHARLES: I believe it has something to do with the fact you induce a comatose state. Anyway, I forund a new ally for us. Ekersby now resides here. So I will stay with you for now.

NEBULON: What would I do without you?

CHARLES: Die. Several times.

NEBULON: {typing} And so, Nebulon and Charles were reunited. And Nebulon began refering to himself in the third person.

{The Paper falls.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Charles" to see the Astromund army go back down to training quarters.

Fun Facts

  • The reason everyone hates Nebulon is because in the last email, he accidentally killed the Leikand.
  • The Pigheads and the Crocohumanillans are from email #4, heads.
  • The scene with Tampo references RPG battles.
  • The "Unguraits doing a stealing mission for a creature in the past" references Gunhaver Email #58: Stealing.
  • The "Masked Alien" in a reference to the "Lone Ranger" of radio fame.
  • If Nebulon's quarters are "down", like Charles said, and Bob came in on a floor above it, Charles couldn't have pushed Bob out the window.


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