Sherlock's Blog

Day 56
Current mood: Contemplative
Weather: Fireworks going off on the ground

Yesterday I wrote that Strong Bad couldn't be dead, but today he told me that his eyes are usually bright green, and when he saw them grey in the mirror when we were commandos, it looked like the light behind them had gone out. So Strong Bad's dead and the worm's not real. Am I dead too? I think if you hit your head really really hard, you can die. I was going really fast.

Nobody knows what happens when you die. Maybe you get stuck in a weird universe where nothing makes sense, but maybe that only happens if you die trying to do something that you're bad at and don't like doing.

But then how could Strong Bad escape? I don't understand, but that's normal for me now.

Day 55
Current mood: Exhausted
Weather: Making translating be harder than it looks

That took a lot longer than I thought but here's what Strong Bad wrote he was doing.

"I was just running around, looking for a way out as usual, when I suddenly appeared in storybook land. You guys wouldn't know it. Old-Timey Strong Bad was there too, I guess. And then I suddenly appeared back home. BACK HOME. But... My head was still an old keyboard. And there were a bunch of other alternate Strong Bads standing around. I figured out what was going on pretty quick. It was one of them reunion episodes where they gather all the Strong Bads from previous episodes and have them record a number one jam.

"Turned out it was my future self celebrating 150 emails. Which is pretty impressive. I mean, I only got up to 71. But you know what the important part is? In the future, I make at least 150 emails, so that means I find a way out of here! In the future.

"So after we finished recording Save The Last Email For Strong Bad, all the other Strong Bads went home. But I didn't wanna come back here, 'cause it's not my home. So I just sat on the coach. Watching Caleb Rentpayer. Then my whiny little brother Strong Sad started whining whinily about how I had to go back or he'd miss his favourite cooking shows or something. And... Man, I wanted to hug him. I can't believe I missed my home so badly that I wanted to hug STRONG SAD. I mean, I hit him, but I still wanted to hug him.

"Future Strong Bad came down to join in, and then we went up to my computer room so I could explain my problem using his hot new computer. After I said I was him from the past, Whiner Sad started whining about the space-time continuum. Future Strong Bad said I was from some dream he had when he got knocked out this one time. I told him it wasn't a dream, but he didn't listen. He said: "No, it's just some stupid dream I based a sbemail on. There was a talking wheelchair that sounded like Bubs, an annoying cowcopter thing, and I was dead!" I had a response to that so witty, it'd feel like your eyeballs... melted out, but then I got pulled right back to this place out of nowhere.

"I hate this place."

So that's what Strong Bad was doing. I'm sorry he remembered me as being annoying, but why did he think he was dead? Strong Bad's not dead. I can tell because he's moving around and punching people.

Day 51
Current mood: Interested
Weather: I feel like I'm floating backwards but I'm really just hovering

I don't know where Strong Bad went yet. But he came back with a notebook!! He wrote stuff in it, but I can't read English so I didn't know what he said. Nobody here can read English except for Strong Bad.

When Strong Bad realised that, he got angry so I kept out of punching distance. But me and Talking Wheelchair and Strong Bad made a English writing to Cowcoptic writing chart eventually. Talking Wheelchair made a sound, and I wrote down the Cowcoptic letter, and Strong Bad wrote down the English letters. He did write down what happened to him, so I'm going to try to translate it and write it here.

By the time anyone reads this I will have done it or not done it, but you should wish me luck anyway.

Day 50
Current mood: Content
Weather: My eyes won't uncross

I'm sure I know how to get home now. I have to NOT try to catch the worm. I told Ready For Primetime that he had to believe in his own things he believes in, and I told Eh! Steve that he has to not do whatever it was he was trying to do when he got here. I didn't tell Strong Bad anything because I couldn't find him.

I told the worm that I wasn't going to chase him anymore because I'd figured out the right way to get out. He said "Well done, amigo!" It sounded like he'd known the whole time, so I asked him if he had. He said yes, but he couldn't tell me because I kept trying to catch him. He said he couldn't tell anyone except me because he wasn't real.

That confused me because I knew he was real because I could see him. And I know the others can see him too. But everything here is too weird, so maybe the worm really isn't real.

Strong Bad's back. I should go ask him where he was and why he didn't take me.

Day 49
Current mood: Excited
Weather: The sky is the floor

Ready For Primetime told me how he got here. One thing I'm good at is learning different languages. But I think that might be the only thing I'm good at.

Ready For Primetime comes from a place where they believe in things that make stuff happen some way they don't understand, and they never see the things. I asked him how he knew they existed. Ready For Primetime said he didn't know, but everyone else in his family seemed to, so he pretended that he knew so he wouldn't get into trouble.

He did the same thing the rest of his family does, which is tell other people how to talk to the things that might not exist. But some of the other people in his world didn't believe in them either, and they hate the people that do. One day they hit him on the head and threw him into the water, and his species, that I know the dance word for but don't have a Cowcoptic word for, can't swim. So he held his breath for a long time, and then he suddenly woke up here.

So that's how he got there. I really think there's a pattern. Look at this chart I made:

Name			How They Got Here		What They Were Doing
~~			~~				~~
Sherlock		Hit head on tree.		Trying to hunt.
Eh! Steve		Hit head on house.		Hitting Talking Wheelchair with a pipe.
Strong Bad		Got hit on head by hammer.	Trying to play sports.
Ready For Primetime	Drowned.			Pretending to believe in something 
							he didn't believe in.

I tried to make it a table but it didn't work. Anyway, there really is a pattern. We were all pretending to be good at something we weren't really good at. That was really hard to type, but I realise now that I'm not good at hunting. Maybe I can be a translator and make lots of money and have someone else hunt for me. That would be very embarassing, but it's better than starving to death. I think.

I wonder how hitting Talking Wheelchair with a pipe was something Eh! Steve wasn't good at?

Day 47
Current mood: Thoughtful
Weather: The mountains are moving around

I was reading the last entry I made. I read about how I begged Strong Bad to say what he was going to say, and that was when I realised how boring things are here. Everything always stays the same, even though something weird is always happening. Weird things are so boring now!

Right now Talking Wheelchair is chasing Eh! Steve around. He always does that, and he never catches him no matter what he does. It was interesting watching him at first, but he just keeps trying the same things with tiny changes. And what's that black thing he keeps trying to drop on him?

I always try to catch the worm, but the worm always moves and I hurt myself. Sometimes the worm does weird things when it moves, but weird things are still boring.

Strong Bad always plays music or dances or hits things. I've heard all his tunes that he called demos when he had a head that time. I never want to hear them again, but I can hear one of them right now. There was one time when I caught him trying to make my computer work, but that only happened once.

But there is one new thing happening, and it's stopping me from floating in the same direction until I'm too tired to stay up like Strong Bad does sometimes. It's learning dance language. I can sort of talk to Ready For Primetime now. He's really nice, but I don't know enough of the language to ask him how he got here. I hope I will soon, but I sort of don't because I don't know how I'm going to ask Eh! Steve.

Day 45
Current mood: Frustrated
Weather: Deja Vu. Are you sure I haven't made this entry already, computer?

I talked to Ready For Primetime first. I did that because he doesn't poke me in the eye.

He still can't talk, but Strong Bad was there, and he said through charades that Ready For Primetime talks by dancing. I need to learn his dance language. I know I can do it. If I can learn English, I can learn dance language. I learned a lot of it today as well. Dance language is simple and easy, and Strong Bad can already dance it and he helped me.

I told Strong Bad I was trying to find the pattern. He started to play charades again, then he stopped like he'd changed his mind about saying what he was going to say. I said I wanted to know, but he wouldn't tell me. I begged him but he punched me.

Day 44
Current mood: Thoughtful
Weather: The ground has waves like the ocean

I was trying to catch the worm as usual, but I was also thinking. I was thinking about how I got here. I hit my head on a tree while I was trying to catch a worm. Strong Bad got here when he hit his head on a Hammer Put when he was trying to play sports. Eh! Steve got here when he hit his head on a house, but I don't know what he was trying to do. I don't think Talking Wheelchair counts because he wasn't alive before he got here. I don't know how Ready For Primetime got here, and the worm said it was always here.

I need to find out what Eh! Steve was trying to do, and I need to find out how Ready For Primetime got here. I think there's a pattern. Maybe if I can understand what the pattern is, I can find out exactly how I got here. And maybe if I find out exactly how I got here, I can find out how to get home without catching the worm.

I still miss home. It hasn't gone away yet, even after almost three months. (Fifteen weeks for those weird peoples who still don't use the lunar calendar.)

Day 41
Current mood: Annoyed
Weather: Portals appearing and not working

I went straight through and I was still in the strange place.

Day 40
Current mood: Resigned
Weather: Wiggly moving fissures in the ground

When I wrote in the subject line I nearly wrote "home again" but this isn't home. It's the strange place. While I was writing the last entry on some paper, I went back there. So did Strong Bad. Everything just disappeared and got replaced by the things in the strange place.

I thought Strong Bad would be really angry, but he just looked around and sort of sighed. I told him that I liked his eyes and I didn't know what was wrong with them. Then I told him that in my culture, grey eyes are a sign of a mighty hunter and a natural leader. I have black eyes. But he just sort of sighed again, so I left him alone.

I'm going to try to go through the portal again. Catching the worm isn't working.

Day 39
Current mood: Light Headed
Weather: Partly cloudy

I need to write down the mission before I fall asleep. I feel strange. I think being in a weird universe messed up my sleeping times.

We had to go stop Blue Laser, the bad guys, from doing some sort of evil dance. Gun-Haver, who is the leader of the Cheat Commandos, said that if they kept doing it they could summon a demon or something. That would be bad, so we had to stop them.

The Cheat Commandos world has vehicles, and we took one to get to Blue Laser's house. Cheat houses are buildings with lots of little rooms. Inside the house, there were some more Cheats dancing. Gun-haver sent me and Strong Bad inside to shoot them with weapons. I said that weapons are against my culture because they are, but he just laughed.

So we went in. There were a lot of mirrors inside. The Blue Lasers stared at us. "What the crap?!" said the leader. "So apparently we're supposed to—" said Strong Bad, before he got shocked and stared at his reflection. Then he started making weird noises that sounded like talking but weren't.

I decided to say something. This is what happened:

SHERLOCK: Cease your evil demon dance this instant!
BLUE LASER LEADER: Evil demon dance? We're practicing for the ballay(?)!
STRONG BAD: Wha-gra-ya-What's wrong with my eyes?!
SHERLOCK: Is ballay evil?
ANOTHER BLUE LASER: Your tights are back from the drycleaners, sir.
BLUE LASER LEADER: Awesome!

Then Strong Bad stopped being shocked and kicked the leader across the room. Then he said he missed doing that.

And that was the end of the mission, because the other Blue Lasers pointed their weapons at us, and we had to leave.

And now everything is... What's going on?!