Other Character Email Tampo/DVD/Outtakes
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Tampo Email DVD: "Outtakes"
Summary: A series of outtakes from various Tampo Emails pieced together into a clip show.
Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Jaros, Greggos, Grundies, The Overser, Postlethwaite, Robot Medics, Trevor, Booty, Stinkoman, Brody, Various Robots, Stlunko, NEB-1, 1-Up, A Metroid, Liekand, The Programmer, Chorch Commander, The Trickster, Sidekick Bob
Places: Engineering Lab, Trevor's Computer Room, Robot Junkyard, Stinkoman's House, Green Screen, A Field, Pink Cloud Zone
Length: 145 Lines
Date: October 29, 2005
Contents |
Transcript
Outtake from "lazor beams"
{Cut to the Engineering Lab. Lots of Greggos, Jaros and Grundies are working on Tampo's new robot body in the middle of the room. It now has gray feet that look like they've been pieced together with building blocks, yellow feather-covered arms with hands, two plastic eyes up front and speakers for ears at the sides. All the junk that was along the edges before is now gone.}
TAMPO: Looking good, guys. How are those arms coming along?
{The Overseer walks up to Tampo.}
THE OVERSEER: Great. Almost done. The—
{The Overseer is struck by a lightning bolt. He turns to ash and crumples on the floor. Tampo is surprised. The camera pans out a little to show a studio and a Postlethwaite (lightning cloud minion) overhead.}
DIRECTOR: {offscreen} What's that lightning cloud doing here?! We don't need it for this scene!!
{A bunch of medic robots rush onto the scene and inspect the ashes. Tampo slowly backs away.}
A MEDIC: He's gone.
DIRECTOR: {offscreen} Crap!
ANOTHER ROBOT: {offscreen} Now what'll we do?
DIRECTOR: {offscreen} We'll have to write him out... hey, stop filming!!
{Cut.}
Outtake from "2005"
{Cut to Trevor in his computer room, sitting down in front of the Stunky. Booty walks onscreen from the left and looks up to Trevor.}
TREVOR: I got another one of those bad emails again, Booty. You know what to do. Let's give him what he deserves!
BOOTY: {clucks and nods}
{Booty flies onto the Stunky and sits down next to the antenna. Suddenly, yellow liquid starts dripping down from under Booty and short-curcuits the computer. The email popup flashes an old color with white text and a distorted buzzer noise is heard.}
CRA&$-
TREVOR: What the? EWW!!! {jumps back from the computer} Ugh, Booty. Not again!
BOOTY: {looks down disappointedly, clucks}
TREVOR: Why do we even have this scene?
TAMPO: {offscreen} It's hilarious, trust me.
TREOVR: No it's—
DIRECTOR: {simutaniously, offscreen} Cut!
{Cut.}
Outtake from "relatives"
{Cut to Stinkoman walking in a robot dump with trash piled high. A jar breaks loose from a rubbish pile and falls down. A brain is visible inside. It hits the ground next to Stinkoman and shatters. The brain lays on the ground.}
STINKOMAN: What is this? Some sort of pudding?
{Stinkoman pokes the brain with his fist. His fist sinks inside.}
STINKOMAN: Wah! This pudding is eating me!
{Stinkoman flails about, the brain stuck to his arm. It doesn't come off and he panics, flailing it against various nearby objects in the junkyard.}
STINKOMAN: This blobby challenge is eating me alive!!!
{He hits it against an upright girder sticking out of the junk. The brain splatters all over it.}
TAMPO: {offscreen, pained} Oooh...
STINKOMAN: Oww... {rubs hand}
{Laughter is heard from offscreen characters, including Brody. Camera pans a bit to show Tampo and Brody to the left of the set. Brody is giddy and Tampo appears slightly upset.}
BRODY: {laughs} Think about it, Tampo. That could've been you.
TAMPO: Oh, man. Poor little brain. Stinkoman, you owe m—
{Cut.}
Outtake from "biggest fan"
{Cut to Stinkoman's field of vision, looking out a window. A big field with the still-smoldering Robot Warehouse ruins is easily visible.}
STINKOMAN: It looks like some sort of challenge is going on without me!
{Cut back to inside Stinkoman's house. Stinkoman pulls his head back inside.}
STINKOMAN: I will go see if they are asking for another challege!
DIRECTER: {offscreen} Good, Stinkoman. That's a wra—
STINKOMAN: {charges up} DOUBLE DUECE!!
DIRECTER: {offscreen} Um... Stinkoman? You don't need to—
{Stinkoman blasts through the wall. As he is several stories high, we hear him start to plummet.}
STINKOMAN: {falling} AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
{Several odd looking robots run up and look out the window at the falling Stinkoman.}
A ROBOT: {calling out} Stinkoman! You had to put on your harness first!
{A crash is heard from the distance and several of the robots watching cringe. Cut.}
Outtake from "attacked"
{Cut to the boss trio and NEB-1 in front of a green screen. Tampo and Brody are lying on the ground, slightly burnt and apparently unconscious. NEB-1 is glaring at Stlunko, who is holding a small machine with an antenna at the end: The F.O.R.C.E. Two large wires are connected to a small harness on NEB-1's back. Stlunko pushes a button on the F.O.R.C.E. and then points it at NEB-1 and pushes the button again, although no force field is visible.}
STLUNKO: This should take care of you for a while.
{With all his might, Stlunko flings the machine in his hand away. The harness connected to NEB-1 quickly flies away at the same speed, taking NEB-1 with it. But then a cable snaps and the machine stops moving, and NEB-1 flips in midair and conks Brody, who was laying nearby, on the head.}
BRODY: {stays laying down} Ow.
{NEB-1 stays hanging upside down by one cable, right in front of Brody, but not over him.}
STLUNKO: This is a problem.
TAMPO: {slightly opens an eye, whispers} Am I- am I supposed to get up now?
NEB-1: {roars}
{NEB-1's second cable snaps and NEB-1 lands face-first onto the ground. Cut.}
Outtake from "training"
{1-Up is in a field. Stinkoman is nearby, holding some pudding. A clapperboard obstructing the view, with the text "1-Up vs. Mean Stinkoman" on it.}
DIRECTER: ...and action!
{The clapperboard claps and disappears.}
1-UP: Hey, Stinkoman! You have pudding! Can I have some?
STINKOMAN: No way! This is my pudding! You are too dumb to have my pudding!
1-UP: No, I'm not! I wanna be the guy! Can I have your pudding please?
STINKOMAN: {laughing} Ha ha ha! You're so dumb! Ha ha ha! Dumb. This is your pudding. I stole it from you because I'm a big jerk and you are stupid!!!
1-UP: That's okay, Stinkoman! I'm just a kid, maybe I'll be able to have my pudding when I'm—
BRODY: {offscreen} No, 1-Up! When Stinkoman's mean to you, you have to be mean back!
1-UP: But—
{Cut. Same scene.}
STINKOMAN: {laughing} Ha ha ha! You're so dumb! Ha ha ha! Dumb. This is your pudding. I stole it from you because I'm a big jerk and you are stupid!!!
1-UP: Ummm... you're... a jerk? Yeah! {laughs} I did it!
DIRECTER: {annoyed} Cut.
{Cut. Same scene.}
STINKOMAN: ...because I'm a big jerk and you are stupid!!!
1-UP: WAH!!! {runs offscreen, crying}
{Cut.}
Outtake from "master"
{Cut to a Metroid floating in a screen of white.}
METROID: {insides glow when he talks, squeaky voice} Hello, underlings. It is I, your master. You will all bow to me!! I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! SKREE!!!!
{It charges forward and latches onto the camera obscuring the view. The screen starts getting fizzy and the sound fades out at times.}
METROID: {high-pitched sucking sounds}
STLUNKO: {unseen} I told you we should not... {small fade out} ...d a real Metroid.
DIRECTER: {unseen} It's sucking energ... {fade out} ...camera!
TAMPO: {unseen} Quick, someone! Get the freeze gu...
{The camera turns off and all is quiet for a few seconds.}
Outtake from "tornado guy"
{Cut to a room of pink puffy clouds. The floor is pink and puffy and there are four walls of clouds. The sky is not visible from the camera angle. Liekand and Tampo enter through a square opening in the clouds, partially covered by lame early-animation computer generated tornados. The computer animation is turned off when they reach the middle of the room.}
TAMPO: Uh... what are we going to do here?
LIEKAND: This is where I change you fatolduggysluggyuggyugglyjuggly gy... gy... bleh.
TAMPO: Uggy sluggy?
DIRECTER: {offscreen} You get it right soon enough. Let's try again.
{Cut.}
Outtake from "experiment"
{Cut to an empty field with bushes in the background. Suddenly there is a flash and the three shrunken bosses are standing in it.}
STLUNKO: -labeled.
BRODY: Where are we?
TAMPO: I don't know.
STLUNKO: {quickly} TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to send video and audio feeds over long distances to be projected onto screens of individual sets in private and public locations for personal and public use. It was used for education and entertainment purposes. Replaced in the twenty-second century by the holovision.
{The following events occur during Stlunko's explanation.}
TAMPO: What the...?
BRODY: Um... Stlunko?
ROBOT: {offscreen} Oops, sorry about that.
{The robot enters the scene. It's a Chorch with a checkered blue cap and glasses. He has a small nametag that reads "programmer".}
PROGRAMMER: Oops, sorry about that. {holds up a microchip} I inserted the wrong explanation chip.
TAMPO: Oh. Great.
{Stlunko's explanation ends. After a brief pause, it repeats itself.}
STLUNKO: {quickly} TV. Short for television. Old twentieth and twenty-first century device used to—
DIRECTER: Cut! And shut him u—
{Cut.}
Outtake from "revolution"
{Cut to the fight scene of the boss trio and the Boss Trio Reloaded. Stlunko and Brody have just been knocked unconscious by the giant robot, and Tampo just notices.}
TAMPO: Stlunko! No!
{Tampo quickly goes around the robot and sees Brody unconscious. The camera zooms into him.}
TAMPO: Not you too! {quickly} Jeez, why am I always the last one— Oof!
{A metal claw had fallen from above and had conked him unconscious, for real.}
CHORCH COMMANDER: Oops, sorry.
{The camera pans out to show the giant robot holding a tube over Tampo, with the claw that was connected to it fallen off. A bunch of medics rush onto the scene excitedly and Brody and Stlunko quickly get up to investigate. Cut.}
