Other Character Email The Unguraits/Shoe
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits explian shoes, but then 1-Up dies. The Unguraits try to clone him, but accidentally create a robotic monster. Contestro gets cabin fever and goes berserk.
Cast (In order of appearance): 1-Up, Marzichan, Ben, Unguraits #'s 1 & 2, Kyle, Rya, Stinkoman, Contestro Sevornkey, Unguraits #'s 3 & 4, Poison Mushroom, Possessed Squid
Transcript
{{Cut to 1-Up, Marzichan, Ben and Ungurait #2 standing near their ship while Ungurait #1 and Kyle do the repairs to the ship. Rya's tiny space-ship crashes a few metres from where 1-Up, Marzichan, the two Unguraits, Ben and Kyle are. Rya emerges from it and gets out her fist, which is burning a red-ish colour, similar to how Stinkoman charges his double deuce}
RYA: You are going to die!
1-UP: Woah. Can't I ever have an email where I don't get stuck in a fight with a cameo?
{Rya, with a new stretchy robotic arm, reaches over to 1-Up and punches him. 1-Up gets up and starts running towards Rya}
RYA: Are you trying to prove that you aren't a loser? Because, you can't. We all know you are.
{1-Up atempts to punch Rya, but Rya dodges and kicks 1-Up in the back three times}
1-UP: WAH! You broke my spine!
KYLE: {in background} Robots don't have spines, moron.
RYA: Hmm, while 1-Up is distracted, I can infect him with the new and improved death seed plaque.
{Rya grabs a vile from ofscreen and pours a black goo over 1-Up's head}
1-UP: Argh! Now I'm melting!
RYA: Well, there is no point for me to be here anymore. The virus can finish the job.
{A jetpack appears on Rya's back and she blasts offscreen. 1-Up walks over to Ben}
1-UP: Ben. Can I have two more emails? I'm kind of bored?
BEN: No need. I repaired the computer in the ship.
UNGURAIT #1: Good. So, we can check our email again.
BEN: Yes. But, it had to be degraded to 21st century technology.
UNGURAIT #1: Oh. That's good. Seeing as I come from that century.
{Marzichan, 1-Up, the two Unguraits, Kyle and Ben all get into the ship and fly off the planet with a gas station. Cut toa close-up of Unguraits #'s 1 & 2 at the CCS 5000 in the ship}
UNGURAIT #1: Your Emall A-Splode.
Dear Unggjrgnggnjsngjasbgjgable What is shoe? I got the question, but what's the answer? -Jaro
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} A shoe is a peice of clothing you wear on your foot. Seeing as how jaroes have no feet, it's easy to see why you don't know what a shoe is. Anyway...
MARZICHAN: {offscreen, crying} Guys, come quick! {Cut to 1-Up's computer. He is lying on the ground, lifelessly. Everyone else is there, shocked. The Unguraits come in and gasp.}
UNGURAIT #1: What happened?
MARZICHAN: {sobbing} I don't know. I just came in and, and... {bawls}
{Cut to the two Unguraits, Stinkoman, Marzichan, Ben, Kyle, Pan Pan and the Chibi surrounding 1-Up's grave on random planet, all crying}
MARZICHAN: {cries} Why him?
UNGURAIT #1: Don't worry, Marzichan. We can clone him. Make him bigger, faster, stronger. {dramatic close-up} We have the technology.
MARZIPAN: {crying less} Really?
UNGURAIT #1: Well, we can build a cloning machine and-- {Marzichan picks Ungurait #1 up}
MARZICHAN: Thank you! {kisses him} Thank you! {kiss} Thank you! {kiss} {She sets him down}
UNGURAIT #1: Hey, got any other dead friends we can clone? {falls down}
{Cut to the Delta guys' dungeon. Contestro is foaming at the mouth. Unguraits 3 & 4 are distancing themselves away from him, frightened.}
UNGURAIT #3: Uh, Contestro, are you okay?
CONTESTRO: {roars and flails around wildly. The Unguraits, push themselves against a corner, shaking in fear. Contestro badly dents the holographic bars. The guard is startled.}
GUARD: Hey, what are you doing? Stop that!
{Contestro ignores him and breaks the bars. He blows away the guard and leaves. The Unguraits follow. Cut to the ship. Ungurait #1 is making a cloning machine. The others are outside, waiting. After he finishes, he goes outside to the waiting room.}
UNGURAIT #1: It is finished! Now we need something that contains his DNA like a peice of his clothing, his hai- {pause} err, pretty much anything that belongs to him covered in his fingerprints.
STINKOMAN: Here's his hat. {Gives them 1-Up's hat}
UNGURAIT #1: Why do you have this?
STINKOMAN: I didn't rob his grave.
UNGURAIT #1: Good, because you would be arrested if you did.
STINKOMAN: Heh, heh... yeah.
{Ungurait #1 goes back in.}
MARZICHAN: Do you really think they can clone him?
KYLE: They've done crap like this before. They can.
{Cut to the inside of the room. Ungurait #1 places 1-Up's cap in the machine and presses the "clone" button. The machine operates and in the chamber where 1-Up should be, there is a monster that looks similarly to 1-Up, but has large horns, 4 large claws, razor-sharp fangs, and is goop-like. It attacks Ungurait #1. He flees through the door and nails it shut. The monster bangs on the metal door and dents it badly.}
MARZICHAN: What happened?
UNGURAIT #1: I think I made a monster.
UNGURAIT #2: RUN!
{The monster breaks the door and roars ferociously.}
MONSTER: I am Poison Mushroom!
KYLE: What a dumb name.
UNGURAIT #1: How could this have happened? All the calculations were correct. There's no reason for there to be any problems!
{Cut to the room with the cloning machine. Possessed Squid comes out from behind it and laughs evilly.}
{Cut to a black screen. The words "Click here to email the Unguraits" appears.}
Fun Facts
- The Name Poison Mushroom refers to the poison mushroom in the mario series along with the 1-Up mushroom in the games.
- This email is continued from Rya 2.
