Sherlock's Blog/1

Day 21
Current mood: Relieved
Weather: None!

Sorry about that. I'm better now. I'm glad cowcopters heal so fast. I want to know who put the bandages and splints on me while I was passed out. Talking Wheelchair says it wasn't him, and Strong Bad is too selfish, and it wasn't Eh! Steve. I'm confused.

I hear the string instrument music again. That's weird. I haven't heard it since I came here except for when we sang that song. I'm going to go investigate. I think something is happening.

Day 18
Current mood: In pain. Is that a mood?
Weather: Don't care

Hello reader. I have some advice for you. If you're trying to wake from a dream, don't slam yourself against the ground until you pass out. It doesn't work.

Day 16
Current mood: Homesick
Weather: Hot snow

I think my sight is coming back. I'm glad. If I can't see, I'll never catch the worm, and if I never catch the worm, I'll have to stay here forever. I don't want to stay here forever. This place doesn't look right, and it doesn't smell right.

I'm tired of looking at the mountains in the distance I can't get to. I'm tired of it always being night. I'm tired of the ground that doesn't feel like ground. I'm tired of having to translate everything I hear into Cowcoptic. I'm not tired of not being able to catch a worm, but that's because that's how it always is.

Maybe I'm dreaming. I think I hit my head pretty hard on that tree. I miss trees. But how do I wake up? Let me try opening my eyes.

That didn't work. I opened them wide and I'm still here. I have an idea!

Day 15
Current mood: Annoyed
Weather: I don't know. I can't see.

I asked Eh! Steve if Talking Wheelchair's story was right, since I know he can talk now. He said, "Eh! Steve!" and poked me in the eyes again. He did it really hard this time and he blinded me. Good thing I can touch type.

Day 14
Current mood: Surprised
Weather: Spontaneous singing

Eh! Steve can talk!! So this is what happened today. I was trying to catch the worm again, and Talking Wheelchair was chasing Eh! Steve again. Then I heard the music I heard when I first came here, then some voices out of nowhere started saying "Oh man! It's the Sweet Cuppin Cakes!" And there was more music. Then the worm and Eh! Steve started singing in English like this:

THE WORM: Have you ever watched a show?
EH! STEVE: Just this once I didn't know
THE WORM: How you think this show will go?
EH! STEVE: Take a {something} my {something}
THE WORM: I can't see where I am going
EH! STEVE: {something} this is my last name
THE WORM: Got {something}
EH! STEVE: {something} all the same

My English isn't very good yet, but I sort of understood them. Then the voices started saying "Sweet Cuppin Cakes" again. I think. Then I felt the urge to sing, even though I didn't know the words. Then this happened.

TALKING WHEELCHAIR: {In English} Have you ever watched a show?
SHERLOCK: Just this once I didn't know
TALKING WHEELCHAIR: How you think this show will go?
SHERLOCK: Take a shot, my friend
TALKING WHEELCHAIR: I can't see where I am going
SHERLOCK: Fighting this is my last name
TALKING WHEELCHAIR: Got two friends and just say {something}
SHERLOCK: My friends back there are all the same
TALKING WHEELCHAIR: Everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows it, watch out for Eh! Steve!

Then we all looked at Eh! Steve, and he said, "Eh! Steve!" in a really weird voice and sort of wandered off.

The singing was sort of fun. I want to do it again sometime. I wonder why Eh! Steve has been pretending he can't talk. And what's a sweet cuppin cake?

Day 12
Current mood: Disappointed
Weather: The rectangles on the ground are shining in different colours

I asked Strong Bad where he came from. He played a tune that meant he was angry, but I couldn't resist dancing to it, so I danced to it. So did he, but then he punched me.

So later on I asked him again, and he didn't get angry this time. I think. We played charades for a long time, but all I found out was that he came from a land of stupid people, and he used to have a head for a head. I think he misses his land of stupid people.

I asked the worm where it came from, and it said, "Here," in English. Then I jumped on it because it was a clever ploy to catch it off guard, but it moved again.

Day 11
Current mood: Interested
Weather: Everything's all spinny.

I can talk to Talking Wheelchair! It turns out that Talking Wheelchair is a description, not a name. It means a chair with wheels on that talks. I'm still going to call him Talking Wheelchair. Anyway, it also turns out that he's not a native either! I told him how I got here, so he told me how he got here.

He used to be a normal chair with wheels that didn't talk and carried a kid around. He says he doesn't remember that part very well because he was an inanimate object back then. Then the end of civilisation happened, and everyone died. Talking Wheelchair didn't die because he wasn't alive yet.

He sat there for a long time and started to rust, and eventually things that looked like Eh! Steve started appearing and cleaning things up. Then Eh! Steve came and started hitting him with a pipe, and he started to roll forward because he was being hit with a pipe. He ran into Eh! Steve and they both ran into a dwelling, and then they were suddenly here, and Talking Wheelchair was a talking chair with wheels, and Eh! Steve could only say Eh! Steve. And Talking Wheelchair wasn't rusty and beaten up anymore. But he was drawn really badly.

So then Talking Wheelchair started chasing Eh! Steve all the time because he was angry about being attacked with a pipe, and after a while Strong Bad appeared. He's not a native either. I asked about the worm, and Talking Wheelchair said it was there when he got there.

I'm going to ask Strong Bad how he got here. Maybe he can tell me in charades again.

Day 8
Current mood: Calm
Weather: Everyone looks two-dimensional

I'll tell you what my daily routine is like, just in case you wanted to know.

Morning: Wake up. No breakfast because I don't need to eat here. There's food, but as an adult cowcopter, custom dictates that I must only eat that which I caught myself.
Mid-Morning: Try to catch the worm until I get lonely.
Midday: Talk to Strong Bad until he gets sick of it and punches me. I do it because he's the only one that can understand me. I think he knows my entire life story now.
Afternoon: Try to catch the worm again.
Evening: I teach Talking Wheelchair Cowcoptic, he teaches me English.
Night: Try to catch the worm until I get tired and go to sleep.

So that's my day. I also sketched a picture of what the natives look like, except I didn't do Talking Wheelchair because I can't draw him.

I can't believe I haven't caught that worm yet.

Day 7
Current mood: In shock
Weather: Mass hallucinations

I saw my sister today. She was just hovering there, in the middle of nowhere, so I tried to go to her. But I went straight through. Then she turned into my friend, Mycroft. Then I realised that I was seeing things and they weren't really there. Then Talking Wheelchair came up and said that that was his kid. I didn't know what that meant, but I realised that he was seeing things as well. So I told him. I don't think he believed me, because he tried to go to Mycroft. But he gave up after he went through him as well.

Strong Bad and Eh! Steve saw the hallucination as well, but they can't talk properly so I don't know what they saw. I do know that Eh! Steve stuck his tongue out, and Strong Bad attacked it. Attacking things is Strong Bad's way of telling them to go away. It's his way of telling me to go away, anyway.

I don't think the worm saw it. I haven't seen it at all today.

Day 6
Current mood: Confused
Weather: Stars are falling out of the sky. One almost hit me.

This morning I got bored with trying to catch the worm and learning Talking Wheelchair's language, which is called English, so I decided to take a trip to the mountains. I went towards them, which isn't hard because they make a circle around us. I kept flying for hours, but they never got any closer, and the ones behind me never got any further away. My internal compass was telling me that I'd gone all around the world already, but that didn't make sense so I ignored it. Then I went past my computer and stopped, because I knew I was four hours' travel away from my computer. But there it was. Then Eh! Steve nearly jumped on it, so I picked it up.

I don't get this place. No wonder my internal compass is messed up.

Day 4
Current mood: Homesick
Weather: My limbs keep coming off

Still haven't caught the worm. Can understand Talking Wheelchair a little. Eyes hurt from sameness of landscape. Miss my nest.

Day 2
Current mood: Hopeful
Weather: Inversed colours

I think I've figured how to get out of here! But first I have to explain how I got in here. Okay.

My sister was making fun of me for being a failure and not being able to catch my own food again. She said I couldn't even catch a worm. So I started looking for worms to prove her wrong. I found one in the forest and tried to pull it out, but I missed and hit my head on a tree. Then I woke up here.

So anyway, this morning I woke up and the hole was right next to me. There was a worm sticking out of it. I got here because I couldn't catch a worm. So if I catch a worm, I should be able to get out! It makes perfect sense! I think it was a different worm to the one that got me here, but I'm not sure with the way the colours are today.

I tried to catch it all morning, but it kept going inside its hole. That's okay. I don't miss my home yet, and I want to learn Talking Wheelchair's language.

When I get home, I'm going to try extra hard to be a mighty hunter instead of an outcast.

Day 1, but later on
Current mood: Tired
Weather: Low gravity

I think I've met all the natives now. Here is what I've learned about them:

Talking Wheelchair: He hates the trapezoid and chases him all the time. I'm teaching him some of my language, and he's teaching me some of his language. I think I have the wrong kind of mouth to speak his language, though.

Eh! Steve: This is the trapezoid that Talking Wheelchair always chases. I call him Eh! Steve because that's all he ever says. He's kind of a jerk, actually. He poked me in the eye when I tried to talk to him.

Strong Bad: He has a spherical light brown/pink torso, two black legs that end in red things, two brown/pink arms that end in other red things, and also he has a keyboard for a head. He can't talk, but I think he can understand me, and he can understand Talking Wheelchair. We played charades for a while, and that's how I learned his name.

I also found a hole in the ground that moves around. I think there might be something living in it. I'll look more closely tomorrow. I'm tired. There's no beds, but I'm a cowcopter! I can sleep rough!

Day 1
Current mood: Excited
Weather: It's raining melted clocks

I've decided to start keeping a journal, like the old explorers used to. When I find the way out, maybe I could publish them and be famous! But I'll cut that introduction out and replace it with something good. Anyway. I've found a new place that's never been seen before. Let me describe it:

The ground: alternating blue and white rectangles, smooth surface.
The sky: A black sky with stars. They haven't moved, and I've been here for hours. Maybe it's eternally night?
The view: I see some purple mountains. At least, I think they're mountains. They have a yellow stripe and a white stripe going through them at exactly the same height on all of them. They're really, really pointy and tall

That's all there is, really. When I first came here, I heard a tune, then it stopped. It sounded like it was played on a string instrument, but I didn't see any. Then one of the natives came up to me. It was black and white and looked like a sketch of a chair with wheels. This is what happened:

NATIVE: {gibberish}
SHERLOCK: Hello.
NATIVE: {more gibberish}
SHERLOCK: {slowly} Do you speak Cowcoptic?
NATIVE: {points at self somehow} {gibberish}
SHERLOCK: ???
NATIVE: {Still pointing at self} {Slow gibberish, best I can transliterate is "tal-king-wheel-chair"}
SHERLOCK: "Talking wheelchair"?
NATIVE: {gibberish}
SHERLOCK: {points at self} Sher-lock.
NATIVE: {Untransliteratble gibberish, sounds like "Wer-wock?"}
SHERLOCK: {points at self} Sher-lock.
NATIVE: {Untransliteratble gibberish, is close enough to my name}

Then another native came by. This one was light brown/grey trapezoid, and had small black arms and legs. It also had a pattern on its lower body, a mouth that sort of curled at both ends, and triangle shaped eyes. The first native went chasing after it.

I wandered around for a while and found this computer, just like the ones at home. And then I started writing on it.