Other Character Email Jaro/dead again

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Contents

Summary

Cast: Tampo, Saargtsson, Nebulon, Marzichan, 1-Up, Stlunko, Stinkoman, Jaro, The Master, Chorch, Grundy, Dark Greggo, The Poopsmith, Green Beard, Guards, Rob the Robot, Ekersby, prisoners, civilians, Joshua (easter egg), Super Sam (easter egg), Mitchell (easter egg), Shadow Scythe (easter egg), NachoMan (easter egg)

Lines: 1,069

Transcript

Part One: The Attacks

{The screen fades into Challenge City. The city is burning, large smoke clouds rise from the buildings, and bosses are clearly visible causing chaos. They all are stronger than their normal selves, and all have pure white eyes, signifying mind control. Tampo sends out electric bolts through his cerebellum. Saargtsson is completley engulfed in flames, and shoots long streams of fire from his antennea and mouth, destroying buildings. Brody's orange foot suddenly comes down and flattens a car. People run in terror, screaming as Nebulon suddenly comes from nowhere.}

NEBULON: {loud roar}

{Marzichan walks up to Nebulon, and does that wierd "peace sign" pose. Nebulon takes one look at her, and then sucks her into his mouth, and then eats her. Don't worry guys, it's not gory in the least. Nebulon then picks up a car and throws it across the street.}

{The screen then shifts to one building, which among the terror, is still standing. Stinkoman HQ is plated with huge metallic shields on all of the doors, windows, and just the entire building. The following words fade in.}

NachoStudios Presents:

Jaro Email #40: Dead Again

No, This Isn't The Last Email

{The words fade out after a few seconds, and the camera moves up towards Stinkoman HQ. The camera goes through the metal plated window and shows 1-Up covered in gallons of pudding. He's smiling, but it's more of a faint hope than true happiness. He looks around a sighs.}

1-UP: Well, It's time. I need to reveal myself, and tell them their mission. It's good that I finally have time to put off this ruse. But there's no time for that now.

{1-Up gets a wet towel and wipes all the pudding off his face.}

1-UP: There's no sense in delivering important news looking like a slob.

{1-Up begins to wipe off his shirt. Just as he does this, there is a huge explosion right behind him. He falls foward into another large pile of pudding.}

1-UP: What in the name of--?!

{The screen cuts to a large hole in the wall. Most of the sheilding has been blown away, and Stlunko's hands grab the remnants and tear it away. His body flies up with several jet packs attached to his underside. His screen is full of static, and there are many cracks in the blue part of him. His antennea is much larger than normal. He simply floats near the hole in the wall while his hands go for 1-Up.}

1-UP: Oh, crap!

{1-Up jumps out of the way of his hands, doing the same ball jump thing he does in Stinkoman 20X6. Stlunko's hands get stuck in the wall.}

1-UP: Stlunko, how did you get in here??

STLUNKO: It is simple actually. I analyzed your sheilding to be made out of high density alloy titanium, and since piping on houses built in 20X3 are generally very vunerable, from the Anthony Horn Piping Scandal of years before, it was easy to just overheat the outside of the sheilding to cause the pipes to burst out the sides of the house so I may--

{1-Up, comes out of the side of the screen and kicks Stlunko's antennea, but it has no effect. Stlunko's right hand is suddenly freed, and it swats 1-Up into the wall.}

STLUNKO: Interesting. You have got me to monolouge. I will make a note not to do this on further assasinations.

1-UP: But, {cough} why are you doing this.

STLUNKO: I guess I will tell you my motives because I am in full control of this situation. I know who you really are.

1-UP: 1-Up?

STLUNKO: No, W. I know you are going to tell Jaro and the others of our plans. Once you are eliminated, all of the loose ends will be tied.

1-UP: You're wrong.

STLUNKO: What?

1-UP: I've prepared just for this situation. I've made the exact precautions to warn them even if you kill me.

STLUNKO: Well then, I guess I will have to kill them too.

1-UP: Wrong again, Stlunko.

STLUNKO: What? Are you going to stop me?

1-UP: No...

STINKOMAN: {offscreen} DOUBLE DEUCE!!

STLUNKO: Oh, this will be fun.

{Stinkoman flies in from the left and punches Stlunko right in the visor. It breaks open, and he reaches in and tears out random wires. Stlunko's hands release 1-Up, and they fall to the ground. Stinkoman then kicks Stlunko's body out of the building. It falls 30 stories to the ground and lands with a firey crash. He then presses a button which seals the hole in the wall with 4 layers of shielding.}

STINKOMAN: You okay, 1-Up?

1-UP: Uh, yeah.

STINKOMAN: Good. At least we finaly got one of those stupid bosses down. If I beat them all before, I can beat them all again!

1-UP: But Stinkoman, they're all stronger than ever before! And that Stlunko was just one of many Stlunko's that are just gonna keep coming after me!

STINKOMAN: {suspicious} How do you know all that?

1-UP: Uh, I heard it on the evening news?

STINKOMAN: Oh, okay. I think I saw that one too.

1-UP: {phew}

STINKOMAN: C'mon, let's go get some chicken soup with an dumplings!

1-UP: My favorite!

{The two walk off screen, just as the scene fades to Jaro sitting on a couch with The Master.}

THE MASTER: I understand that you three are doing your best to stop my minions from ruining the worlds. But the fact of the matter is, where you make up for in smarts, you lack in actual muscle.

JARO: But isn't the pen mightier than the sword?

THE MASTER: That's just a dumb metaphor. It's really not true.

JARO: Well, we're trying our best!

THE MASTER: I know, I know. But what I really need from you guys right now is a new body.

JARO: You want us to build you a new Sticklyman suit?

THE MASTER: Yes. I have the specific designs for such a suit, but I lack the ability to build one right now.

JARO: Yeah, that would work. Chorch is pretty good at building crap.

THE MASTER: This isn't any old crap. See, I've been improving my designs for the suit over the past months. It will be noticably larger than the last. I need it to store infinite amouts of memory. The only way I can rule over my utopia is for me to be all knowing. I need every fact to be in my memory bank.

JARO: Is that it?

THE MASTER: Oh, no. I can't just be using a shovel anymore. What I really need is a lightsaber. That would be kick awesome!

JARO: A Stick man holding a lightsaber?

THE MASTER: Ooh, and jet boots! And a cape! And a crown! And a voice sythesyzer that'll make my voice all deep and cool!

JARO: RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT, well I'll see what I can do.

THE MASTER: That's good. The sooner I am at full power, the sooner I can get myself back into my castle and control the city.

JARO: Master, I have a question.

THE MASTER: Ask away.

JARO: Have you ever had doubts about your plans?

THE MASTER: Explain.

JARO: Have you ever, just for a second (and don't take this the wrong way) thought that destroying the world wasn't the best way to create peace?

THE MASTER: I still don't understand.

JARO: Like, destroying lives, ruining families! Is it all really worth it? Don't you think you're just being sort of a facsist? Causing mayhem, just for your own desires?

THE MASTER: Are you defying me??

JARO: No, no, sir!

THE MASTER: {furious} Listen, wretch! You are nothing to question my motives! I know what's best for all of us! And no one, not even my own servents, will ask me if I think I am doing the right thing! NOW GET TO WORK.

{The Master storms off.}

JARO: Touchy.

{Chorch and Grundy come in from the left.}

JARO: Have you guys heard The Master's plans?

CHORCH: No.

GRUNDY: Doesn't he run some sort of construction business?

JARO: No, that's just a front for his bigger schemes! He told me something weird last night.

CHORCH: What?

JARO: He said he wants to destroy the world...

GRUNDY: So, he's an unoriginal supervillian?

JARO: No, no. He wants to create a utopia with no crime or war or any of that stuff.

GRUNDY: Huh, well that doesn't sound so bad.

JARO: Yeah, but think about it. After listening to him, he will kill anyone that stops him from achiving his plans. He's going to endanger countless lives to make his world.

CHORCH: Oh, jeeze. Are you telling the truth.

JARO: He sounded really serious.

GRUNDY: Did you tell him he was nuts?

JARO: I told him he was acting crazy...

GRUNDY: And?

JARO: He got real mad and stormed off.

CHORCH: Oh, my. Do we really want to work for a guy like this? I mean, I appreciate the dental plan and everything, but it's not worth it if I have to assist in the destruction of civilization.

JARO: Well, he just gave us a job to do.

GRUNDY: What.

JARO: He needs me and Chorch to build him a new Sticklyman suit.

CHORCH: Oh, no.

JARO: He said he needs one ten times more powerfull than anything he's had before.

CHORCH: Hmm...

JARO: I think I have an idea, though, on how we can bring him back from the brink of insanity.

CHORCH: I'm listening...

{The screen fades to Stinkoman, 1-Up and Pan Pan walking through an underground tunnel. The entire place is covered in large metallic plates, and there are tons of warning signs covering the walls. The ceiling is covered with only a few light bulbs and air vents. Only the sound of their footsteps can be heard.}

1-UP: {whispering} Why do we have to be so quiet, Stinkoman?

STINKOMAN: {whispering} I know it sucks, but we can't survive on pudding alone. We need to get some food.

1-UP: {whispering} You didn't answer my question.

STINKOMAN: {sighs} Ever since Brody made our house go into lockdown mode, and now that Stlunko's tried to kill you, I think someone's after us. We can't make a sound. I know these tunnels look safe, but if those robots can break through the houses sheilds, they'll tear this place apart.

1-UP: Oh.

STINKOMAN: I know this whole situation is suckage. But we just need to wait until we figure out who's behind all these attacks. It's probably a fat blue bird, or Coach Z.

1-UP: I have other ideas...

{The three reach a door in the ceiling with a short rope hanging down from it.}

STINKOMAN: Here we are.

{Stinkoman hops up, grabs the rope, and pulls the door down, revealing a staircase. They all ascend it, and Stinkoman closes the door behind them.}

{They are now standing in a large warehouse filled with miles of boxes of food and junk. All of the lights are off and no one else is there. They walk to the back of the store.}

STINKOMAN: Tubbs said there would be a delivery for us back here. We've stopped getting them directly cuz the mail service went out. I got an email telling us to meet the grocery guys here.

{Stinkoman and the others reach the very back. They're left looking at a blank wall.}

STINKOMAN: What?! I was lied to?!?!

1-UP: Oh no.

STINKOMAN: What?

1-UP: We have to get out of here!

STINKOMAN: Relax! Nobody knows we're--

{A clanging sound is heard. The three turn around and see a large dent in the wall. Another one appears. When the third sound is heard, the wall flies foward. Stlunko reappears. He is shinier, and has a larger antennea. He makes his way towards the three friends.}

STLUNKO: Stinkoman, you may have managed to destroy one of my counterparts earlier today, I must warn you that I do not intend to make the same mistakes he did.

1-UP: Wait, before you kill us; Can you explain to us how you manage to keep all three of us seduced at once when you have only two hands? Don't spare the details.

STLUNKO: No, no. I will not trail off explaining my methods. It is quite simple actually.

1-UP: Do tell.

{Suddenly, Saargtsson crashes through the wall adjacent to Stlunko. His eyes are pure white. He flies towards 1-UP and coils around his body, trapping him. Stinkoman and Pan Pan look at the two.}

STLUNKO: I get another set of hands.

STINKOMAN: He doesn't have any hands.

STLUNKO: I understand that, but the line was too good to pass up. See--

{Stinkoman makes a move towards Stlunko's anntenea, but an invisible barrier deflects him back. He flies onto his rear.}

STLUNKO: Oh, did I mention I also got sheilds?

STINKOMAN: Sheilds? {spits} That's barely a challenge! That's a baby thing to do!

STLUNKO: Yes, but--

SAARGTSSON: Will you two sssshut up! Sssstlunko, ssssubdue thoessss two!

STLUNKO: If you insist.

STINKOMAN: Oh crap!

{Stlunko's hands make a grab towards Stinkoman, who ducks out of the way. Stlunko's other hand grabs Pan Pan, but his squishy blubber lets him slide out. He bounces away.}

SAARGTSSON: What are you waiting for??? AFTER THEM!!

STLUNKO: Calm down. I have sealed off all the exits. They are not going anywhere.

{1-Up looks at Saargtsson.}

1-UP: Hey, snake-boy!

SAARGTSSON: {angry} What?

1-UP: {pulls Saargtsson's antennea, causing him to release 1-Up in agony} Telekinesis!

SAARGTSSON: OW!

{1-UP runs towards Stinkoman and Pan Pan, who are crouched behind a pile of boxes.}

1-UP: {low voice} How do we get out of here??

STINKOMAN: {low voice} We need to make it back to the underground enterance. Follow my lead!

{Stlunko's hands swat the boxes away, exposing the three.}

STLUNKO: I have found them!

STINKOMAN: Split!

{The three run off in different directions.}

STLUNKO: It cannot ever be easy.

{Cut to 1-Up running down an aisle, being chased by Saargtsson. He is shooting streams of fire just missing 1-Up.}

SAARGTSSON: Stop running so I can hit you!

{1-Up quickly turns a corner. Saargtsson follows, but when he turns, Stinkoman smashes a large barrel of liquid over him, sending him falling.}

SAARGTSSON: Come on! Water? Really?

{Saargtsson ignites his body. But upon doing so, looks at the broken barrel. It reads "Gasoline".}

SAARGTSSON: Oh, s-

{Cut to a wide view of the warehouse. A large explosion sends him flying out of the roof and into the sky. The warehouse is soon consumed in flames. It cuts back to the inside, where the three guys are dodging the fire to get back to the entrance.}

STLUNKO: You cannot get away.

{Stlunko flies after them. Stinkoman quickly opens the door and they jump in. Stlunko flies down the exit with them, breaking a crate of gunpowder, alot of it getting on him. As he chases them, he leaves behind a trail of the stuff. The three heroes run towards a door labeled "Stinkoman HQ".}

STINKOMAN: Door, open!!

{The door quickly opens and closes just as they get in. Stlunko flies up, and hits the door.}

STLUNKO: OPEN THE DOOR, STINKOMAN. YOU ARE ONLY PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE. {notices the gunpowder} Oh, crap.

{Cut to the other side of the door. A fait explosion is heard, and a bit of smoke comes through the cracks in the door. The three stare at it.}

STINKOMAN: Well, we won't be going to the store for a while.

{The three walk offscreen. The words "End of Part One appear"}

Part Two: The Villians

{The scene begins with Stinkoman in his Stinko-chair playing old Nes Games. The music from the Wily level of Megaman 2 is heard.}

STINKOMAN: This game isn't too hard! You just gotta shoot the pad things out at the right moment, and you can get to the ladder!

{It cuts to the screen of the TV. The game over screen is suddenly shown.}

STINKOMAN: Wha??

{Cut back to Stinkoman, who is throwing a temper tantrum.}

STINKOMAN: That's not fair! Stupid dragon! They're too mean to me! You tricked me! {smashes the TV}

{pause}

STINKOMAN: I'm hungry.

{The screen cuts to 1-Up in the kitchen. Stinkoman walks in from the left.}

STINKOMAN: Do we have any foods?

1-UP: Uh, we have some hotdogs..

STINKOMAN: Hotdogs?! Ew! Blech! no.

1-UP: Well, we have some pudding left..

STINKOMAN: Well, why didn't you say so??!

{The scene cuts to the Pudding Storage Room. It's an almost barren room with a few scattered crates labeled "Pudding". Stinkoman breaks his fist through the side of one of them and eats the pudding off his hand. He then immediantly spits it out.}

STINKOMAN: Wah! This pudding tastes like gross! How old is it??

1-UP: A few months, or years, or decades..

STINKOMAN: If only we could go shopping..

{They both sigh, as the screen shifts through the window and towards the outskirts of the city. The Master's large steryotypical castle is looming over everything. We then see several ships being deployed, and the camera pans into the window. A cloaked black figure is sitting in a large chair.}

FIGURE: Well.. I see no reason not to blindly announce my plans without knowing the present company.

{sighs}

FIGURE: Although all my previous attempts at conquering the multiverse (or what is known in my limited comprehension), have failed, I know for sure what I have done wrong in the past. I was to busy surrounding myself with bad comic relief to know that the best armies are built of the best fighters.

FIGURE: And, of course, all I need to convince anyone to do anything is money. And fear. {gets up} But now I that I am in the Stick Man's throne, I control the power. I control the technology.

COMPUTER: {female voice} Incoming Message from 2004.

FIGURE: Onscreen.

{The Poopsmith appears on a large screen on the wall.}

FIGURE: Have you done the job yet?

POOPSMITH: Dark Greggo, I know it's you. No need to hide behind that "amazing disguise".

DARK GREGGO: Hey, shut up! It's an original idea!

POOPSMITH: Sure, whatever.

DARKGREGGO: I assume you've completed your assignment.

POOPSMITH: Yeah, yeah. Where's my cut?

DARK GREGGO: Your "cut" is the privillege to live longer than the rest of the people in this waste of life.

POOPSMITH: What??

DARKGREGGO: I appreciate your help, but it's about time I left this pitiful universe for something bigger.

POOPSMITH: Why, you!-- {crash} What the?? What're you guys doing here?? I thought you trusted me! Oh, G-- {static}

DARK GREGGO: Hmm. That ending suited him better than what I had in store. Oh well. It's time for my appointment. {Dark Greggo disappears in a puff of smoke.}

{The screen fades to a jail. Dark Greggo flashes a pass to one of the guards, who opens the large metallic gates and DG walks in. He appears at a glass wall talking to Green Beard, wearing an orange jumpsuit.}

DARK GREGGO: You're looking much better than you did a few months ago.

GREEN BEARD: Screw you. At least I wasn't blown to pieces by a Godforsaken MUFFIN.

DARK GREGGO: It was only a setback. I've made sure that nothing can go wrong this time. I've planned for every single senerio.

GREEN BEARD: {watches the guard leave the area} Alright, so when are you getting me out? This place is really getting to me.

DARK GREGGO: Do you have that item I wanted?

GREEN BEARD: Oh yes. {he reaches into his beard and pulls out a small remote} Har, har. They'd never found it. {He slides the remote under a hole in the window. Dark Greggo grabs it and puts it under his cloak.}

DARK GREGGO: It's safe to assume you've programmed it to my desires, correct?

GREEN BEARD: Yup. Exactly how you wanted it. Now, about my ESCAPE.

DARK GREGGO: Actually, because of time contraints, I've decided against breaking you out.

GREEN BEARD: What?! You double crossing p--

DARK GREGGO: Yes I knew you would be upset, but that's the way these plans work. Well, the partnership was nice and all, but it's about time we moved on.

GREEN BEARD: Somebody stop him! He's conspiring against the government! He-- {suddenly, he begins to choke}

{Dark Greggo stands expressionless.}

DARK GREGGO: I was going to let you die a quick and painless death, but seeing as how you've decided to act against me, you're clearly not fit for this earth.

{Green Beard falls over, and gasps for air.}

DARK GREGGO: So long. {disappears in another puff of black smoke.}

{We then cut back to the fortress where he appears.}

DARK GREGGO: Well, that's it. The 12 original citizens of Free Country are temporally displaced. The temporal wave will destroy the universe so instantanious, they will have no time to prepare for it. My new minion will be a nice addition thanks to Green Beard's technology. And of course, my power.

VOICE: Badalang!

DARK GREGGO: Hmm?

{Pan Pan suddenly jumps out of the shadows, and dives towards Dark Greggo. But Dark Greggo quickly turns around and suspends him in the air in a bubble of energy.}

DARK GREGGO: Hello Pan Pan.

PAN PAN: I knew it was you-- What the?! I'm talking english?!

DARK GREGGO: Well, I just don't have time to translate Pan right now, so I modified your language.

PAN PAN: How? And what power are you talking about?

DARK GREGGO: Well, allow me to explain, for I am in total control of the situation..

{The screen fades back to Dark Greggo in his lair from "Lunch". The scene is going on as Dark Greggo talks.}

DARK GREGGO: {offscreen} If you watched the last few emails, you would have seen that my temporary minions building a device.

PAN PAN: {offscreen} I did, but I didn't understand what it was for. Actually, it would have been smart for the guys to watch their own emails, but they don't really understand..

DARK GREGGO: It was a time machine.

PAN PAN: So? There's time machines everywhere. Why do you need to build one?

DARK GREGGO: This one is a bit unconventional.. It makes the person invisible, intangible, and virtually unseen inside the universe.

PAN PAN: May I ask why you needed that?

DARK GREGGO: Simple. If you want to kill your Universal Ruler, you can't let him know you're there.

PAN PAN: YOU KILLED "NachoMan"??

DARK GREGGO: Well, not exactly. I only possesed him for long enough to knock him out and absorb his powers.

PAN PAN: You can do that??

{The screen slowly fades back to the present}

DARK GREGGO: Of course. If he was dumb enough to lie to his inhabitants to make their plight more fun, he would certainly have allowed theinangible to posses. He loves the drama. And now, I have all the power of a universal ruler without being limited to one universe.

PAN PAN: I can't let you do that!

DARK GREGGO: But you're going to.

PAN PAN: Why?

DARK GREGGO: Because I'm going to kill you.

{Before Pan Pan can react, Dark Greggo shoots him out the window, sending glass flying down below. A crash is heard, and then silence.}

DARK GREGGO: And now to kill everyone else.

{The screen fades to black.}

Part Three: The Destruction

{The screen fades in to the Stinkoman HQ once again. Looking inside, Grundy is sitting on a pillow watching a wrestling match on TV. The camera scrolls over to Jaro and Chorch working on Sticklyman's new body. Jaro has a welder's mask on and Chorch is doing something to cause sparks to pour out of the head, which is large enough for The Master to stand in. There are many buttons and levers all over. Jaro lifts his mask.}

JARO: So, how are we going to do this?

CHORCH: Do what?

JARO: Fix the Master?

CHORCH: Oh, right. {the sparks stop} well, we need him to hook his hard drive up to the programming..

JARO: That's easy. He needs the extra memory because his basic memory is inferior.

CHORCH: What was that other thing you said he needed?

JARO: He needs infinite knowledge.

CHORCH: What?

JARO: Yeah, he says if he wants to rule the utopia, he needs to see all and know all.

CHORCH: I'm not sure how I could do that..

JARO: What? But you know everything!

CHORCH: It's impossible for one robot to store all infomation. Even one with such an unlimited hard drive.

JARO: Aw, man.. He's gonna be mad.

CHORCH: Unless..

JARO: What?

CHORCH: Let's see.. {sparks fly out of the head several times} Done!

JARO: What'd you do?

CHORCH: I gave him free unlimited internet access.

JARO: A'ight.

CHORCH: Stop saying that.

JARO: okay

{Grundy walks up.}

GRUNDY: Are you guys still working on that stupid body?

JARO: It's not stupid! With this body, we can keep our great jobs, but still be involved with the legion of terror.

GRUNDY: So you're just making the terror less terrible?

JARO: Yup!

GRUNDY: Well, I can't argue with that!

{The scene smoothly shifts to Dark Greggo's office. He's sitting in the shadows.}

DARK GREGGO: I know you may not like your current situation Pan Pan..

{Pan Pan is revealed with some cybernetic components on his body.}

PAN PAN: You can't do this..

DARK GREGGO: Can't I?

PAN PAN: I will never work for you..

DARK GREGGO: Is that so?

{Dark Greggo reveals a remote similar to the one Green Beard gave him.}

PAN PAN: Is that the remote that controls--?

DARK GREGGO: Not exactly. I simply understood that if Green Beard could control an organism with a computer program, I could do the same with cybernetic technology much easier.

PAN PAN: Wait, who else are you controling?

DARK GREGGO: Oh, I don't have control over them yet.. But that part of my plan will come later on.

PAN PAN: Please, let me go.. I won't tell everyone about your evil schemes!

DARK GREGGO: No, you need me.

{Dark Greggo presses a button on the remote, which shocks Pan Pan all over, and he passes out. A Poorbt in a lab coat walks up.}

DARK GREGGO: When he wakes up, he will remember nothing. I want him home in time for the attack.

POORBT: Yes, sir. {3 others come over and lift Pan Pan out the door.}

{We then fade back to the Stinkoman HQ. Chorch is putting the finishing touches on The Master's suit, and then closes the head. It cuts to a wider view of the room, showing Jaro and Grundy standing nearby.}

JARO: So, it's done?

CHORCH: Yes.

JARO: Awesome!

CHORCH: When he plugs himself into this suit, he will be cleared of all those hate filled ideas.

GRUNDY: So, what will we do when he's cleansed?

CHORCH: I dunno. I think he'll do whatever he wants after he's done getting his forces back.

JARO: At least we won't be involved in the mass extinctions of a species.

GRUNDY: But isn't this the situation we've worked so hard to avoid in the first place?

JARO: What do you mean?

GRUNDY: Remember? We started this email show to break away from the monotonous task of working for the higher ranks! Now, we're back right where we started!

CHORCH: He's got a point. We're minions again, just ones of a higher position.

JARO: Guys! This isn't the same as before! We're going to be feared! Our names will send shivers down the spines of all who oppose us!

GRUNDY: I don't know.. Something doesn't feel right...

JARO: Whatever. All I feel is a serious Email jones. I wonder if Stinkoman would let us use his computer while he's not here.

CHORCH: I believe he said we could borrow it.

JARO: Great!

{Jaro walks up to a large computer built into the wall. He types some stuff in and an email appears.}

Subject:time travel

Jaro,
This is the Time Master HQ, and we were kind of wondering if you could travel back in time for a secret mission. You see, bad things are going on (as you may know). And you and your friends are the only ones who know enough about the cause of the trouble to stop it. Remember, when you go back: You'll need to find an old friend. I cannot offer any more help for the sake of the timeline.

Thank you,
-1-Up, Jaro Apartments

JARO: Woah! 1-Up sent this?? I really find that hard to believe.

CHORCH: Computer, verify if this email was sent from 1-Up.

COMPUTER: This email was sent by 1-Up.

JARO: Huh, imagine that.. Do you think we should believe him.

GRUNDY: No way, he's just a kid. Maybe when he's older..

{The Master walks in.}

THE MASTER: Hey, juys. Did you finish my body yet?

JARO: You're just in time!

CHORCH: I'm just putting the finishing touches.

THE MASTER: Hmm..

JARO: What?

THE MASTER: Where's the cape?

JARO: Uh..

CHORCH: We decided it would be more aerodynamic if you didn't have it.

THE MASTER: And the lightsaber?

GRUNDY: The only ones left in existence are held under tight security at the LucasArts Museum.

CHORCH: We did manage to recover your old shovel weapon.

THE MASTER: Ah, well. Stick with what's best, right?

JARO: You said it.

{Chorch zaps the suit three times, and then moves aside.}

CHORCH: It is done.

THE MASTER: Great. I would like to try it out.

JARO: Be my guest!

{Chorch hands The Master a button. He presses it, causing the suit to be lifted up from the table. It looks similar to the old one, but is more dark and shiney. The head opens up, showing an indention for the master to fit in. He climbs in, while the others watch.}

JARO: Careful.

{The Master spreads his limbs out in an "X" shape so he fits in the indention. Several wires come out and attach to the back of his head. His astromund self powers down for a second, and then the head closes. The room is silent. The Master does not move.}

GRUNDY: M-Master?

{The visor then powers up, and two eyes appear. He looks around.}

GRUNDY: Master!

CHORCH: Are you okay? Is the suit working to your liking?

{The Master does not speak. He looks around some more, and then looks at his arm. The arm moves slowly upward. It moves foward and then slowly picks up the shovel. He drops it back on the table on the first try.}

JARO: {moves foward} Do you need any help?

THE MASTER: Get away!

{Jaro sulks away. The Master tries again at picking up the shovel. His hand grasps around the base of it, and he slowly lifts it upward. He quickly lifts it up towards him, and then strikes a pose.}

THE MASTER: Hmm..

CHORCH: How do you feel?

THE MASTER: It's different... much easier to control than my last one.. It took me two months to master that one.

THE MASTER: I definetly feel smarter. That intelligence makes a big difference. I feel.. enlightened.

GRUNDY: So, are you still going to go through with your plans?

THE MASTER: You know, after gaining the intelligence.. I realize now.. the utopia was a bad idea..

{Chorch and Jaro smile at each other}

THE MASTER: I should just accept the world the way it is, not how I would have it.

JARO: Words to live by.

THE MASTER: Now, let's go get my castle back!

JARO: Woah woah! Us??

CHORCH: Master, we're not... built for combat.

THE MASTER: I'm sorry, but you don't really have a choice in the matter. You're my minions now, you'll do as I say.

GRUNDY: C'mon guys, how bad could it be?

THE MASTER: Whoever it is, he probably has removed my identification systems, so I can't get past the security.

GRUNDY: Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

THE MASTER: It's a constant assult of arrows, bullets, fire, bombs and other deadly objects.

GRUNDY: But I'm sure that we can get past that safely.

THE MASTER: Even if you manage to avoid the Room of a Thousand Projectiles, there are several more areas of uncrossable pits, armies of mindless soldiers, and walls that slowly move inward.

GRUNDY: Okay, but after that..

THE MASTER: Relax, we're not going that way. We're taking the back exit.

JARO: You have a back exit?

THE MASTER: Well, granted it's only slightly less deadly than going through the front, but whatever works.

CHORCH: I'm very uneasy about this whole situation.

THE MASTER: I don't care. I am your master and you'll do as I say.

{Stinkoman and 1-Up suddenly barge into the room.}

STINKOMAN: Guys! We've got a problem!

JARO: What?

THE MASTER: You!

STINKOMAN: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?

THE MASTER: Jaro! Attack him!

JARO: What? No!

THE MASTER: Do not disobey me!

JARO: Master, please understand! We lost everything we had in Tampo's attack! We're living with Stinkoman because 1-Up needed us for something. I promise you can fight him all you want when we've got your castle back.

STINKOMAN: Huh?

JARO: {turns to 1-Up} 1-Up, did you send us an email telling us to go back in time?

1-UP: Sigh.. yes I did. I didn't want you to receive the email until I was certain I wouldn't be able to explain the situation in person.

JARO: I don't understand. Your intelligence is usually somewhat.. lacking. No offense.

1-UP: None taken. I was designed after my dad Homestar.

JARO: So.. why are you so smart.

1-UP: Homestar was the one who designed me, but

Homeschool Winner was the one who programmed me. He did an intelligent thing by programming a replica of himself into my hard drive that only activates in times of trouble.

JARO: Why'd he do that?

1-UP: Cuz he knows how to fix everything!

CHORCH: So, wait. Am I talking to 1-Up, or Homeschool?

1-UP: A program of Homeschool in 1-Up's body. Right now, I am Homeschool.

STINKOMAN: Uh, guys? I have a problem? Remember? I was talking?

JARO: Right right.

STINKOMAN: Yeah, my computer-thing's telling me we're going to be attacked soon, so we should probably pre--

{A message quickly appears on the computer. All of the guys look.}

JARO: What the-

STINKOMAN: Oh, crap.

{A pipe in the roof above breaks through the ceiling and causes ice crystals to rain down on the crowd. They duck down.}

GRUNDY: Argh, I'm the only one here who can feel pain!

STINKOMAN: We gotta get out of here!

{More and more pipes shoot through as the group runs out the door. It shuts behind them. Suddenly, an Ice Machine breaks through the ceiling.}

AN ICE MACHINE: IIIIICE {breaks the door down and runs after the group}

{Cut to the group running through the hallways. The floors are slippery and ice cubes are falling from the roof.}

STINKOMAN: C'mon! Let's get to the exit!

{Cut to an Ice Machine. He's tearing through the hallways, destroying everything in the house. A box of pudding is crushed.}

1-UP: {running} No!! {Homeschool's voice} Shut up!

STINKOMAN: We gotta get to the elevator!

1-Up: Stinkoman! The elevators are closed for repairs!

STINKOMAN: Then I'll make an elevator! {Stinkoman begins to charge up while he's running. When he reaches his peak, he catches fire, and floats in midair. He crashes through the floor, and the others run behind him before falling through after him.}

JARO: Ahh!

{Stinkoman continues to break through the floor, with the others falling at his tail. He finally crashes into a big box of pudding, and the others safely land along with him. Stinkoman emerges, (looking normal) and looks up.}

STINKOMAN: Move!

{Without thinking, the group moves out of the way. an Ice Machine falls to the ground causing an earth shattering crash. The guys run out of the door.}

{Cut to a view of the outside of Stinkoman's house. A white light shines and then it shows Stinkoman HQ falling to the ground, sending a huge cloud of smoke into the sky. When the smoke clears, Stinkoman HQ is a pile of rubble. Stinkoman and the gang are in a bush, covered in ash.}

{Jaro looks out from the bush.}

JARO: Stinkoman..?

STINKOMAN: {angry} You stupid fridge-rator! YOU BROKE MY HOUSE! All my stuff was in there!

{1-Up covers Stinkoman's mouth in his "hand"}

STINKOMAN: Mff!

1-UP: Shh! We're huge targets! We need to stay completley hidden. No one must know we're here!

STINKOMAN: {furious} Yeah, but.. grumble..

THE MASTER: Well, we'd better get going.

STINKOMAN: Where?

THE MASTER: To the castle? So I can get my revenge?

STINKOMAN: YOUR revenge?? I just lost my entire house!

THE MASTER: Did you lose your respect?? Did you lose everything you've ever tried to accomplish? Did you???

STINKOMAN: Uh..

THE MASTER: Stinkoman, THAT is the reason why I hate you! YOU ARE SELFISH. I'm going to get what's mine, and any loyal piece of crap with half a brain would follow!

{The Master walks away, angrily. The trio look at him, and then at 1-Up.}

JARO: Uh, we gotta go. We sortta have debts to pay or something..

1-UP: I understand. I'll come too. You remember my email right?

JARO: Oh, right. Sure, come along.

{1-Up and the trio walk off, leaving Stinkoman in the bush alone. He looks over.}

STINKOMAN: {pause} Hey, wait up!

{Stinkoman runs off with the others. The screen goes black.}

Part Four: The Deception

{Part Four fades in. The group is seen hiding in a grove behind the castle. It's huge and towers over the city. Grundy looks out from a bush and sees two robot henchmen that look like eggs on tredmills. They both drive back and forth surveying the area. They turn towards Grundy, and his head sinks into the bush. They turn back and continue on their ways. We cut to the group kneeling behind several trees.}

STINKOMAN: {whispering} Okay, how are we gonna do this? Am I just going to run in and smash everything?

THE MASTER: Stinkoman, I built this castle to kill anyone who looks like you. You wouldn't last a second.

STINKOMAN: Argh!

1-UP: We can't just rush em'. We'd get slaugtered.

JARO: Master, you know everything about this castle. You should be able to sneak yourself into there.

THE MASTER: Yes, well.. we'll need a disguise..

{The screen fades to another guard driving back and forth.}

JARO: {offscreen, whispering} Why do I gotta be the bait?

CHORCH: {offscreen, whispering} Get out there!

JARO: {offscreen} Fine. Hey, robot!

{The robot turns and sees Jaro far off.}

JARO: Your mother doesn't eat as much fruit as she should!

ROBOT GUARD: {robotic voice} Why you.

{The guard speeds towards Jaro.}

JARO: Eep! {runs off}

{Jaro is running through the trees with the guard close behind. Jaro makes some quick turns and then ducks behind a tree. The guard is left standing in the middle of a clearing.}

ROBOT GUARD: Where are you.

{The Master taps the robot on the shoulder. The robot turns around, and The master's shovel smashes right through his head. The robot crumples to the ground. The rest of the group appears.}

STINKOMAN: You want me to get inside this thing? You've got alot of nerves!

THE MASTER: It's the only way we have a chance of getting in.

{The Master lifts the top off and they all climb in. It's suprisingly roomy inside.}

{Cut to an inside shot. It's dark inside, and only their eyes are visible.}

JARO: Uh..

{pause}

1-UP: Someone's touching my butt!

THE MASTER: Alright, we can see through the visor. Calm down.

{Cut to the outside of the guard. The Master's eyes are seen looking through the small visor. The robot moves foward, then back, and then the left arm moves up.}

CHORCH: Do you want me to drive?

THE MASTER: Hush. I'll figure it out.

{The robot's arm moves up and then morphs into a machine gun. It fires off several rounds, destroying a small shrub.}

JARO: Oh, crap.

{Two other guard robots drive up.}

ROBOT GUARD #1: We heard gunfire.

ROBOT GUARD #2: What is going on.

THE MASTER: {muffled} Uh.. {robotic voice} I thought I saw an intruder.

ROBOT GUARD #1: What happened?

THE MASTER: {robotic voice} It was only a can of tomato paste.

ROBOT GUARD #1: Oh.

THE MASTER: Say, do you fellow guys know how our master is doing? How about you tell me his current location?

{whispers}

THE MASTER: Oh, right.

ROBOT GUARD #2: Are you okay? You are showing a lot of emotion today.

THE MASTER: Yeah? Well you are showing alot of uncharacteristic compassion.

ROBOT GUARD #2: You are right. Let us never speak of this again.

{The two guards drive off towards the doors of the castle, as three more guards drive out for the next shift. The Master and the others follow behind. The doors are huge and metallic and slam tightly shut behind them.}

{Cut to a pitch dark room. The lights flash on, showing the three robots on a large narow platform. The room is surrounded by two large pits on both sides, and the walls are dome shaped, and each inch has a large canon, each aimed in different directions. The two robots move foward, and the six guys move foward with them. Grundy looks through the visor, seeing some of the canons follow them along. He gets frightened and ducks down.}

{Another door is shown. It's another huge metallic one, and on the other side is a large pit. The first two robots' treadmills have small rockets appear on the bottom. They lift up and float across. The Master is heard struggling. The jets appear on their robot, but it clumsily lifts up and sways about. It moves foward, and dips but staggers along. The other robots turn around.}

ROBOT GUARD #2: What are you doing.

THE MASTER: I'm running low on uh, energy.

ROBOT GUARD: We are solar powered.

THE MASTER: Then.. my hard drive has detected a virus.

ROBOT GUARD #1: A VIRUS.

{The robots fly towards The Master. They pick him up and fly upwards to a large hole in the ceiling. They appear in an infirmary with hospital beds and stuff. They plop The Master down on a large bed. A robot that looks like ROB the Robot in a nurses outfit comes in.}

ROBOT GUARD #2: He has detected a virus on his hard drive.

ROB: {sighs} Irresponsible robots.. We'll have to melt him down to make new robots.

{ROB picks him up and drives out of the room.}

THE MASTER: Wait, what??

ROB: Don't be so ignorant. Every robot gets melted down to constantly keep them cleansed. Please deactivate yourself.

{Rob drops him on a platform. A robotic arm comes and picks him up, carrying him off on a large sequence towards a huge furnace. There is a large pit below them, and other deactivated robots on both sides. Rob leaves.}

{Cut to the inside of the robot. The Master turns around.}

THE MASTER: We gotta get out of here!

1-UP: What? Why?

THE MASTER: {grabbing 1-Up by the collar} Just come on!

{Cut to the outside. The top of the robot pops off and flies down below. The Master and 1-Up climb up the arm, followed by Stinkoman, Jaro and Chorch.}

JARO: {calling down} Grundy! Come on!

GRUNDY: No! I'm afraid of heights!

JARO: Are you more afraid of burning alive?

GRUNDY: Uh, yeah?

JARO: THEN MOVE YOUR FANNY.

{Grundy hops up and climbs the arm. His eyes are shut tight. he peaks a little and looks down. He jumps and then keeps climbing. They reach the top of the arm just as the robot is dropped into the furnace. A huge amount of fire shoots out of it.}

{Cut to another floating platform, where the group is on.}

STINKOMAN: Alright, where do we go now?

THE MASTER: There's a door ahead. Let's go.

{They move towards a small door. They go through, entering a room with thousands of robots.}

JARO: Uh..

STINKOMAN: Correct me if I'm wrong.. but is this army of stupid egg-bots ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE??

CHORCH: Yes, Stinkoman. Yes they are.

STINKOMAN: Double DEUCE! {flies into the air}

THE MASTER: Minions, fight!

GRUNDY: But I'm not--

{The Master picks him up and throws him into the robots. They catch him and drive away with him.}

GRUNDY: Help!

JARO: Grundy! {to The Master} What are you doing??

THE MASTER: You are my minions and you will fight for me!

{The Master grabs Chorch by the arm and throws him into battle. He lands with a crunch in the crowd of robots.}

CHORCH: Ow..

JARO: CHOORCH!

1-UP: The pipes are broken! {runs towards the robots}

THE MASTER: Go, Jaro!

JARO: No! I have to get Chorch and Grundy! {hops off}

THE MASTER: Grr... fine, I know how to fight!

{The Master dives towards a robot. He hits it with his shovel, causing it, and three next to it, to explode. Stinkoman flies down finally and smashes some more of the robots. The walls open up, and canons appear. They shoot what appear to be cannon balls. 1-Up kicks an enemy.}

STINKOMAN: 1-Up, look out!

{1-Up turns around and is hit in the face with a canon ball. It gets stuck to his face and begins to grow over his body. He lies motionless.}

STINKOMAN: 1-Up! {a ball hits his fist, and he tries to shake it off, and another gets stuck to his leg} Ahh!

{A hoard of robots surrounds him.}

STINKOMAN: Oh, no!

{Stinkoman is overpowered by the robots and the canon balls. The Master is left alone, fighting. He dives past the canon balls and spins around, slashing the circle of robots around him. More canons come from the walls, and an alarm blares. There is no music or any sound.}

THE MASTER: Can't stay here..

{The Master jumps over the enemies heads and moves towards the other side of the room, where there is a door. He almost reaches it, but trips and falls on his face. He turns around to see two balls are stuck to his feat and are moving foward. He turns around to see more robots closing in.}

THE MASTER: {gasps}

{Cut to Jaro, who is running through the robots, avoiding them and the balls.}

JARO: Chorch! Grundy! Where are you??

CHORCH: {weakly, offscreen} jaro..

JARO: {turns around} Chorch??

{Jaro sees Chorch, plastered to the ground with a canon ball. The ball absorbs him and he disappears from sight. Jaro runs over.}

JARO: Chorch! No! {tears away at the ball}

{Jaro tries to tear away chunks of the ball, but it keeps growing. It starts to consume him and he tries to run. A canon ball hits him right in the face. He falls over.}

{We cut to a view from Jaro's perspective. The canon ball obscures his vision until the screen turns black.}

...

{We fade in through Jaro's perspective again. They are in Dark Greggo's chamber, and he is looking into his eyes. The whole seen is shakey.}

DARK GREGGO: {garbled} You're awake.

{Cut to a short view of the room. Jaro is fastened to the wall by 3 electric rings. His visor has a little static. He looks up.}

JARO: You..

DARK GREGGO: Yes, me. I knew you'd come. I thought you'd be late, but no. Right on time.

JARO: What is this..?

DARK GREGGO: What? Do you like it? It's a cell of my own design.

JARO: No.. what are.. you doing?

DARK GREGGO: Well, I might as well tell you. I'm leaving soon.

JARO: Huh?

DARK GREGGO: I want more out of life. I want to conquer. I want to rule. And that is why I'm leaving this universe to search for others. In simpler terms, I want to be some sort of universal bandit.

JARO: But why are you destroying this world.

DARK GREGGO: Well, I figure before I go, I might as well cause some mass chaos as practice. It's good to train my robots and defenses. And your little ambush was a good improvement. See, I knew you were coming.

JARO: ...

DARK GREGGO: I told him to make his false attack good, and he certainly helpped. I would never had expected such a cliched' attack.

JARO: Who's "him"?

DARK GREGGO: {motioning offscreen} He's awake. Come in.

{The Master walks in from offscreen. He stands by Dark Greggo.}

THE MASTER: Hello, Jaro.

JARO: What the crap??

THE MASTER: Listen, nothing personal Jaro, but we made a deal. I can be half of the Legion of Terror partnership if I let him borrow my forces.

JARO: So, all of that crap about a utopia! All that about us joining you was fake??

THE MASTER: Yes. Also, a bit of advice. Before you try to install software on someone that makes them thing different thoughts, you should probably see if they're set to ignore such crap.

JARO: What are you going to do to me?

DARK GREGGO: I'm going to put you in a cell with the others for me to savor over your situation. Then I'm going to kill you all.

THE MASTER: What about the best part?

DARK GREGGO: Oh, right. Well, we've had a friend from the past screw up the timeline. The temporal wave will be big enough to eliminate everything that may have survived. It's not entirely necessary, but it's really fun

JARO: How are you doing all this?

DARK GREGGO: I killed NachoMan.

JARO: WHAT?? H-How?

DARK GREGGO: Well, when you neglected your email show for so long, and because you are the focus of this universe, when you stopped checking emails, he stopped caring about the universe. His manifestation in this world was unoccupied, and the only thing to do was to find him. And without his manifestation, he cannot inerfeir with this universe.

JARO: What? I didn't get all that.

DARK GREGGO: God, you're slow. Listen, we're done. Execution at 3:00, tea at 3:15.

{The wall Jaro is attached to turns around, and he is on the other side of the wall.}

{Cut to the cell. Stinkoman, 1-Up, Chorch, Grundy and Jaro are all held to the wall by the same devices.}

JARO: Grundy, you're okay!

GRUNDY: I can't believe it.. The Master was working for them all the time.

CHORCH: I'm disgusted. I built his suit. I aided him.. I feel so ashammed.

STINKOMAN: Who am I kidding? I'm a joke.. I couldn't even beat a thousand robots..

1-UP: You did your best. {turns to Jaro} Jaro, this is all my fault.

JARO: How? You didn't know.

1-UP: Yes I did. I figured it out with Homeschool's programming. I just couldn't tell you for the "sake of the time stream". I should have just told you.

JARO: It's okay. We're now just going to die a painfull death.

STINKOMAN: I don't want to be killed!

JARO: Don't worry.. {Jaro looks out a window, looking at the city and the red sky through bars} We'll get out.. We'll get out..

{The scene fades out.}

Part Five: Everything Ends

{Fade back in to the cell. The friends are still held to the wall. They are all looking at the floor, gloomily.}

1-UP: {sighs}

STINKOMAN: I don't need this! I'm not gonna be killed by a minor enemy! I'll break us outta here!

{Stinkoman lunges forward, but on doing so, is shocked with a huge electrical current. He slumps over.}

STINKOMAN: Crap..

JARO: Wait, you guys are high tech robots, right? Shouldn't you have some sort of amazing gadgetry to break us out of here?

1-UP: Like what?

JARO: I don't know. A missile launcher? An EMP blast? Some smoke bombs?

STINKOMAN: Smoke bombs?? What do we look like, babies toys?

1-UP: We're too low tech to be able to break out. We're designed to only use offensive attacks if we're mobile.

JARO: Man. What stupid morons designed you??

STINKOMAN: Why you--

{A woosh sound is heard. They all glance out the window. The bars on the window bend and then snap off. The Lappit 258 flies in, and a face is on its screen.}

LAPPIT: I knew you'd be here.

JARO: Lappit!

GRUNDY: You found us!

LAPPIT: Yes, Jake downloaded so much junk off of me while you were away, it was easy to track him, and I knew you'd eventually go after him after that conversation from the party.

JARO: Who's Jake?

LAPPIT: Nevermind. Let me just get you out of here.

CHORCH: Wait! You could set off some sort of alert! Or a bomb!

LAPPIT: I think we both know Dark Greggo has too big of an ego to put alerts in his security devices.

1-UP: How will you get us out? We're too big to fit through those tiny windows.

LAPPIT: Then we won't take the windows. Now hold still.

{The Lappit flies over to 1-Up, and two small robot arms come out of its sides. A small laser comes out of his finger and slowly slices through the device emitting the electric beams. The beams stop, and 1-Up falls to the floor.}

1-UP: Alright!

STINKOMAN: Wait! Get me out!

1-UP: Alright.

{1-Up walks over to Stinkoman and fiddles with the beams. The Lappit flies over to Jaro and disables his. Eventually, they all are free.}

CHORCH: Now, how are we going to get out of here?

STINKOMAN: I've got an idea!

{Stinkoman blasts in from off screen and crashes through a wall. The rest of the group cringes, and walks over when the dust clears. They look out the hole, and see the forest.}

JARO: Hmm. Convenient.

{The hole is very close to the ground, and Stinkoman is already outside. The rest of them climb out.}

STINKOMAN: C'mon, let's get out of here! We'll hide at my house!

CHORCH: Your house got blown up.

STINKOMAN: Well, just half of it. They didn't get the basement!

1-UP: Oh, right. I completely forgot about it!

{Fade to the group walking through the streets of the city. The buildings are still rubble and the sky's a strange shade of red-purple. The moon is bright in the sky.}

JARO: Where is everyone?

CHORCH: Where are all the shelters? There were like six when we left.

GRUNDY: And why's the moon out? We were only there for two hours.

1-UP: It's all a bit strange. Maybe we were there longer than we thought.

STINKOMAN: Well, my clock must be screwed up then. It says it's only 3:00.

1-UP: Mine too. I guess that castle screwed up our systems. We'll have to fix 'em when we get back.

LAPPIT: But my clock's wrong too. I was only in there for a few minutes.

JARO: It's been a bad day. Once we get to the house, we can rest for a bit. We gotta leave town. We're not safe anywhere.

{Stinkoman's rubble of a house appears.}

STINKOMAN: That took less time than I thought it would.

1-UP: What happened to an Ice Machine?

CHORCH: Didn't he crash right here?

JARO: He could have rebuilt himself and walked away.

GRUNDY: That's a scary thought.

JARO: Come to think of it, he could have clones, like Stlunko. Advanced clones that are smarter and faster.

GRUNDY: Shut up! You're scaring me!

{Stinkoman walks up to the house. He bends down and moves the

"Weclome" mat out of the way, showing a keypad. He types a number in, and there is a pause. Suddenly, a large cylindrical elevator bursts through the ground. Grundy and Chorch move back, startled.}

STINKOMAN: Hop in! {walks in while the others follow}

{Stinkoman presses a button. The doors slam shut, and the elevator to shoot into the ground. The elevator goes deep into the earth, going past dinosaur bones, and a fossilized Strongbadia sign.}

{The elevator screeches to a halt. The doors open to a shiny room, filled with nice furniture, expensive technology, and a full kitchen. They all step out.}

JARO: This is your basement??

STINKOMAN: It's kinda small, I know. But it's a good hiding place. {hops over on the couch}

CHORCH: So, how long are we gonna hide here?

1-UP: {opening a soda} For a day. We'll have to figure out how to leave town unseen.

JARO: How's that going to be a problem? We walked through the town, in the middle of an empty street.

1-UP: You know what? Shut up.

{1-Up walks off, and Jaro looks puzzled.}

JARO: ..okay?

{Cut to Stinkoman playing N64 on the big screen TV. Jaro bounces up.}

JARO: Hey, can I play?

STINKOMAN: It's only one player.

JARO: It's Mario Kart!

STINKOMAN: Then maybe I just don't want to play with you.

JARO: C'mon, man!

STINKOMAN: Leave me alone! Get out of here!

{Jaro hops away sadly. He gos up to Grundy.}

JARO: Grundy, 1-Up and Stinkoman are acting weird. I think we need to figure out what's up with them.

GRUNDY: What's up with them? What's up with you??

JARO: What?? What are you talking about?

GRUNDY: What's your problem? {walks away angrily}

JARO: What's wrong with you people?

{Suddenly, the TV goes to a blue screen. Stinkoman gets up and smacks his fist on the side of the TV. The corner of the TV changes into a red and black wiring, and an evil face appears on the screen. Brody's legs come out of the bottom.}

JARO: What the--?!

STINKOMAN: It's you!

JARO: Who??

{Cut to the sink. A bunch of jam starts coming out of the faucet. The fridge door opens and closes.}

JARO: What? Who is it? What's going on??

{Jaro looks over to the fridge, and sees a large Ham inside.}

JARO: EKERSBY!

{The whole basement breaks away, leaving Jaro and the others floating in a black void. Ekersby rises from the bottom of the screen.}

EKERSBY: yEs ItS mE* i'Ve CoMe To BrInG yOu BaCk To ThE cAsTlE.

JARO: C'mon guys, help!

{Jaro looks around, and all of his friends are gone. He looks back at Ekersby, who grabs him and holds him in his hands. A bunch of creepy glitch circles around Jaro.

EKERSBY: yOuR fRiEnDs LeFt YoU... tHeY aLl HaTe YoU.. yOu'Re WoRtHlEsS..

JARO: This can't be real... this can't be real...

{Jaro looks around.}

JARO: ..this isn't real..

{Ekersby looks at Jaro weird.}

JARO: This isn't REAL!

{The screen breaks away, and shows Jaro standing in a strange room, with all of his friends on the floor surrounding him, he falls over. Dark Greggo and The Master approach him.}

DARK GREGGO: Blast! He broke out of the simulation!

THE MASTER: We shouldn't have had Ekersby in there. The rejection was bad enough..

DARK GREGGO: Oh well. Time for the execution.

{Cut to the villains leaving the room. They leave, and the doors slowly shut behind them. The Lappit squeezes in and flies over to Jaro.}

LAPPIT: Jaro, you have to get out of here!

JARO: What.. what happened?

LAPPIT: It was a simulation! Dark Greggo was trying to kill you in it! He's going to come back soon, we have to leave!

JARO: We've gotta take them.

LAPPIT: There isn't time!

JARO: I'm not leaving without them!

{Jaro walks over Grundy and Chorch, and tries to wake them up.}

JARO: Guys, wake up! Wake up!

GRUNDY: .. huh?

CHORCH: What?

JARO: Guys, c'mon! We gotta leave!

GRUNDY: Where are we?

JARO: Dark Greggo's castle! He tried to kill us! C'mon, help me wake up Stinkoman and 1-Up!

{Jaro hops over to 1-Up and Grundy walks over to Stinkoman.}

STINKOMAN: No, mommy! I don't wanna wake up. {swats Grundy}

GRUNDY: Get up, ya twit.

{Stinkoman wearily stands up and looks around. 1-Up stands up too.}

1-UP: What is this?

STINKOMAN: It looks like some kind of challenge simulator!

LAPPIT: Hurry up! We have to get going--

{The doors burst open, and Dark Greggo, The Master and two guards walk in.}

DARK GREGGO: Argh, I hate that computer! Get them!

{The heroes run out of a door on the opposite side of the room.}

DARK GREGGO: {running behind} Who would install an extra door??

{Cut to the group running down a really long hallway. There's one large door on the far end, and the heroes run in and close the door. Cut to the inside, where Stinkoman gets a large desk and props it up against the door.}

{The room has only a large window, and a large computer. Large metallic plates slam over the window.}

GRUNDY: We're trapped!

{Cut to the outside of the room. The guards are slamming into the door, to no avail.}

DARK GREGGO: Why on earth did you make your guards unable to break down a simple door??

THE MASTER: Cheap Russian parts.

DARK GREGGO: Well, I still have one last resort.

{Dark Greggo pulls the remote Green Beard gave him out of his pocket.}

DARK GREGGO: Alright, Grundy. You're mine.

{Dark Greggo presses a button.}

{Cut back to the inside of the room. Grundy's running around panicking. He suddenly stops, and turns around.}

JARO: Grundy? GRUNDY?

{Grundy turns around. He's under the control of Dark Greggo, like in Pure Evil. His eyes are full of EVIL. He lunges towards Jaro.}

LAPPIT: Jaro!

{Grundy knocks Jaro over, and starts hitting him in the visor, slightly cracking it.}

JARO: Oh, god! Someone help!

{Grundy hits Jaro one more time, and his visor goes black. He slumps over.}

CHORCH: Jaro!

DARK GREGGO: {outside} That's it! I'm setting off the bomb!

{Cut to the hallway.}

DARK GREGGO: Leave them.

THE MASTER: Are you sure? Grundy could make a great addition to our legion.

DARK GREGGO: No, there would always be times he would try to disobey. Pan Pan will work much better. Besides, I only needed him so that Jaro would die at the hands of his best friend. {to the guards} Seal off the room, and put a timer on the explosives.

{The villains walk away, while the guards enter a code on a key pad near the door. The slide off with Dark Greggo. Cut back to the inside of the room, where Grundy suddenly stops.. being evil?}

GRUNDY: What the?

{Grundy looks down at Jaro.}

GRUNDY: Oh my God, Jaro!

LAPPIT: We've gotta leave! A bomb is about to go off!

{The Lappit flies up to the computer. He tries to use it, but nothing works.}

LAPPIT: C'mon! C'mon! WORK! WORK! {slams down on the keyboard}

{Suddenly, a hole opens in the ceiling, and a large bulb comes down. It slowly glows whight, and starts to fill the whole room with light.}

STINKOMAN: I hate you all.

{The light suddenly fills the room, and when it clears, everyone is gone. A bomb in the floor suddenly goes off, destroying the room, and the room is engulfed in fire. After a few seconds, an extinguisher comes down and sprays the fire, leaving the room only a chared circle. THe door opens up, and the guards come in.}

GUARD #1: All life terminated.

DARK GREGGO: {on intercom} Great.

{Cut back to Dark Greggo's office.}

DARK GREGGO: Well, everything's right on time. We should be leaving now. Have the ship loaded with the pods.

{Fade in to Dark Greggo and The Master on a balcony on a large ship.}

DARK GREGGO: We're almost done here.

THE MASTER: Almost? I thought we were ready?

DARK GREGGO: We need to make one stop on the way..

{Fade back to the prison from before. Green Beard is hunched over a table, eating some kind of gruel with a bunch of other prisoners. There are heavily armed guards standing behind them. Suddenly, a loud crunch is heard, and all the people look up. The roof is torn off the building, showing Dark Greggo's large ship. The prisoners and the guards run off, but Green Beard stays looking up. A ladder falls down, and he slowly climbs up it. Cut to the ship, where Green Beard joins the villians.}

GREEN BEARD: Thank you for coming back for me.

DARK GREGGO: Yes, well, consider it your reward for help in the past.

THE MASTER: Hey, I don't mean to ruin any reunions, but we need to leave now.

DARK GREGGO: Oh, fine. {Dark Greggo uses his powers to open a swirling portal in the sky. The ship quickly flies into it, and it closes. The world is silent.}

{Cut to a wide shot of the city. Nothing is happening. Suddenly, a larger portal appears in the sky. Tne clouds are immediatly sucked in, along with pieces of buildings, cars, and people. Cut to a view of the streets. People are running and screaming, as cars fly down the screen, crushing people and smashing through walls. Faster and faster, things are sucked in, when the streets are sucked in. Trees are uprooted. When the last bit of existence is sucked in, all that is left is a white screen. Nothing is left. There is only silence.}

Easter Eggs

  • Clicking anywhere on the screen at the very end will make a ghostly image of the words "Click here to email Jaro" appear.
  • If you click on Jaro anytime in the scene where they are all in the computer room, there will be a piece of debris floating around at the end. Clicking on it will trigger a deleted scene.

Easter Egg Transcript

{Jaro and the crew are running through the hallway. A door is coming up on the left.}

1-UP: In here!

{They open the door and run inside. The door slams shut behind them. The inside of the room is dark.}

GRUNDY: Where's the lightswitch?

{The lights click on, and the wiki users Joshua, Super Sam, Mitchell, Shadow Scythe, and NachoMan all wearing dresses.}

MITCHELL: This isn't what it looks like.

{Cut back to the white.}

Fun Facts

  • The message "No, This Isn't The Last Email" was put in for people who might assume the show had ended on a dark tone.
  • "Anthony Horn" is the middle and last name of good user Super Sam.
  • "The pen is mightyer than the sword" is an expression saying that words are more powerful than brutality.
  • To understand why The Master is here, read emails Astromund and New Party.
  • Tubbs is my take on 20x6 Bubs. He gets his name from Homsar in Where's the Cheat.
  • Stinkoman is playing Mega Man 2.. oh wait, it says that in the transcript. Nevermind.
  • Hotdogs are GROSS.
  • Dark Greggo makes a reference to his former assistant Muffin Man.
  • Mitchell wrote the email sent, but it was modified for the email.
  • LucasArts is a video game company owned by George Lucas.
  • 1-Up saying someone was touching his butt is a reference to 3 Times Halloween Funjob.
  • Rob The Robot is a video game accessory from the 80's, who recently appeared in SSBB.
  • 1-Up's "The Pipes are Broken" kick is a reference to Dangeresque 3, which was a reference to Street Fighter.
  • Ekersby has a ham for a heart.
  • "Cheap Russian Parts" is a reference to Bob and George.
  • The Easter Egg is a reference to a running gag that started with 1-Up in a dress, and slowly evolved to a buncha wiki users wearing dresses. WWWWEEEIIIIRD.
  • Hey, I did the Fun Facts for once!
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