Other Character Email The Unguraits/Jelly Beans
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits discuss jelly beans. Meanwhile, the virtual reality machine has been finished and BIAB has finished Techno as well...
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Death Seed Virus, Ometar, Bat in a Bucket, Rebuilt Techno, Homeskull Whiner, Octovolt, Homeschool Winner, Contestro Sevornkey, Kyle, Nen Yim, Jan
Transcript
UNGURAIT #1: It beats the Matterhorn. What are you gonna do?
Hi Unguraits! I just boughted a new PSP! It's awexome, except for the painful shards of metal stuck in my eye, which came with the PSP. Anyway, I'm sending you a bag of assorted jelly beans, cause I got thems for Easter, but they're gross and nasty and old and I don't want em'. Swarthily, NachoMan
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Well, Nacho Libre, we don't want your freaking jelly beans. I mean, that discription made them sound as tasty as spaghetti in a can that stands upright. {clears screen} Anyway, here's a little known fact: JELLY BEANS ARE BAD EGGS. Yeah. The "Easter Bunny" tells the chickens to make easter eggs, but sometimes they lay duds. So, thry shrink them, dehydrate them, paint then, and call them jelly beans. Whoever thought this up is beyond me. {clears screen} And that is why most people don't like jelly beans. {Leaves} Jeez. The things these people come up with.
{Cut to the Alliance of Dismally's lair, Ometar's room.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Ometar, is the Virtual Transporter done yet?
OMETAR: I just have to do one more thing.
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Which is...
OMETAR: Make a slogan. {Death Seed looks annoyed} I mean, there's gotta be one. But, don't worry, I have an idea for one, that's sure to make people scared.
DEATH SEED VIRUS: What is it? {Ometar puts a sticker below "Virtual Transporter" that reads:} "The only thing scarier than {Lines randomly selected}
{1}what's under your bed."?
{2}bad grammer."?
{3}scary itself."? That's the slogan?
OMETAR: That's the scariest thing in the world, acording to my research.
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Well, as long as it's ready, I'll humor you. I'll go see how Bat's doing. {He leaves. Cut to Bat in a Bucket's room. He is attaching a new robotic head onto Techno.} How's Techno coming?
BAT IN A BUCKET: I've finally rebuilt it.
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Well, we're all ready then.
BAT IN A BUCKET: What about Homeskull?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: I can't tell him yet. Not until we've seperated him and Homeschool. If we tell him, Homeschool will just ruin everything! You know that he can't yet control his transformation.
BAT IN A BUCKET: Hmm... good point, but when will that ever happen?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: When he's in mid-morph, we {motions grabbing} grab him and {motions ripping} rip them apart!
BAT IN A BUCKET: 0_o You sure that's safe?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Of course! Why wouldn't it be?
BAT IN A BUCKET: But if he can't control his trasformation, doesn't that mean it will be unpredictable?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Don't worry, we got someone watching him on the clock.
{Cut to Homeskull's room. Homeskull is playing a computer game on the Nega-Nerder 101. Octovolt is watching him, looking severely tired and his head slightly deflated.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: {cont'd, narrating} If he transforms, we'll know. Homeschool only takes over for a few seconds. When we get them seperated, we'll be ready to put our plan into action.
OCTOVOLT: Can't they watch you theirselves?
HOMESKULL: Meybe, but they don't want to. {He twitches and flinches and falls to the floor. He starts turning into Homeschool in a Danny Phantom-like way.}
OCTOVOLT: Guys! Come quick! He's changing!! {Death Seed, Bat, and Ometar quickly run, fly, and float into the room.}
HOMESCHOOL: {moans} Where am I? Who are you people? {Begins twitching and flinching again. He starts to transform, but Death Seed grabs him in the middle and starts pulling on him. Homeschool and Homeskull are both visible. They seperate and fly into the walls.} Huh? {looks at Homeskull and smiles} I'm free! I'm finally free! No more Homeskull! {runs out of the room, laughing}
HOMESKULL: Is it true? Am I {Octovolt falls asleep} rid of that Homeschool forever?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Yes, and now that you are, we can finally start the plan. {laughs evilly, Cut to the Unguraits' house.}
CONTESTRO: So THAT'S what jelly beans are? Bad eggs?
UNGURAIT #1: Yep.
CONTESTRO: I'll never look at one the same way again. {Kyle comes in}
KYLE: Guys! Jan's missing!
CONTESTRO: Uhh, who's Jan?
KYLE: That Rusty Duck ninja.
CONTESTRO: ...
KYLE: Who is on the verge of becoming a main character.
CONTESTRO: .____.
KYLE: THE ONLY FEMALE MEMBER!
CONTESTRO: Ahhh! Jan!
KYLE: Finally.
CONTESTRO: Why would anybody want her? I mean, sure, she's hot, but...
UNGURAIT #1: What are you talking about? You've never even seen her out of her uniform!
CONTESTRO: Have you?
UNGURAIT #1: No! Noone has! {A crash is heard}
BAT IN A BUCKET: I told you they'd be here!
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Shut up.
UNGURAIT #1: Are you the ones who kidnapped Jan? What have you done with her??
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Why don't you see? {points Virtual Transporter at them} This is the Virtual Transporter. Whoever I shoot with it, will be transported to a virtual program where, if you die there, you are gone... {dramatic close-up} forever.
CONTESTRO: So where is she?
UNGURAIT #1: I think that was what he just told us.
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Yep... {Zaps them all with the Virtual Transporter} Finally! I'm rid of them forever!
OMETAR: Was that it?
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Pretty much. I didn't expect us to be in here, I mean, you die forever there. I would never...
{Zoom in on the on/off switch. A shadowy hand goes close to it and turns it on, pointing it at them, and immedietly goes offscreen. Cut back to them. They all look at the machine. It zaps Death Seed, Bat, Ometar, and Homeskull. It continues firing in random directions. Following one shot, it heads for Nen Yim's lair. She is watching some movie. The shot hits her. Cut to the Virtual Realms. Jan is crying.}
JAN: Now I'm trapped here and I'll never see them again. The Unguraits, Kyle, Contestro... and... Techno! {contunues sobbing, The Unguraits, Kyle, and Contestro appear. Jan looks at them and stops crying.} Guys! You're here! But... where's Techno?
UNGURAIT #2: He never came back. We don't know where he is. {suddenly someone with red eyes approches them. It is revealed to be the rebuilt Techno.}
JAN: Huh? Techno?... {Techno walks toward them with a menacing glare. Fade to Black}
{The words "Click here to email The Unguraits appear.}
Fun Facts
- The email intro is a quote from Gex 2.
- Nacho Libre is a movie.
- The Nega-Nerder 101 is a reference to the computer used by Homeschool in Other Character Email Homeschool.
