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"System scans say that the sentience cable."

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I just got an e-mail today. An e-mail from the future. An e-mail from 20X6. An e-mail... from Stinkoman.

GAH! I was freaking out when I saw it. As much I enjoyed living with 1-Up and Stinkoman, it really wasn't pleasant towards the end. Well, it wasn't that pleasant the whole time, but towards the end I started to crack. All Stinkoman did was look for challenges, and all 1-Up did was look for pudding. They didn't give a specific date, but they said they'd be here in a week or so. Gee, i'M so lookig forward to it.

Anyway, I'm tired of talking about the future. It's time to talk about the past. You know how the Decemberween party was held at my house? Didn't go so well. Strong Bad started a fire, all the gifts were ruined and The Cheat ended up dancing in the food. Somehow, I don't think their ever going to come back. Actually, that's not such a bad thing, but what is a bad thing is that nobody else will ever come visit me. Well, maybe The Poopsmith,but he smells kind of weird. Sigh... I need friends.

Um... hmmm... erm... what to say next... I can't just end it here, it would be a waste of blog space... ooh! I've got it! You know those chocolates I got a few days ago? Well, it turns out I missed out the tenth kind of chocolate. Going into the fridge, I noticed there was a packet I hadn't opened yet. Not worrying about going to the experiment room, I just ate it. It tasted sort of caramelly, yet it was also chewy. I swallowed it, and at that point in time I blacked out. I woke up, only to find out that I was laying on the floor. Getting up, I realised that I had furniture! Maybe you've forgotten, but I had to sell all my furniture to buy the experiment room. Wondering what happened, I wandered over to the experiment room, only to find that it wasn't there. I was now even more mystified. I decided to look the chocolate up on the Rocko. However, the Rocko wasn't around. Walking into the kitchen, I heard a beep, and a turned out so fast I tripped over. I found myself staring at the ceiling, as well as a glued-on Beepy. I then realised I must've gone back in time. Thinking, I thought - if I go forwards in time, I'll probably brake the Beepy, since it doesn't time travel too well. This means that I'd never met Stinkoman, meaning he wouldn't be coming to my house! I jumped at the opportunity. Loading the time travel program, I pressed Enter. At that point, a blinding light came out of the Beepy. Well, it wasn't actually blinding, because when it went away, I could see myself in my kitchen with chocolate next to me. Turns out it was hallucination chocolate. Not fun.

Anyway, this blog entry was really boring. Actually, life's been pretty boring ever since I rescued Homeschool. I think I'll go check my messages now. That's the beep that I heard before. Boop!

Current mood: Hallucinated

Current flash movie: Homestar Goes to College 2 - Homsar's Story - Mrs. Numa Numa

Only two days until Decemberween! I'm so excited. After my big breakfast successfest, I was chosen to host this years Decemberween party. The Strong Brothers didn't seem too mad that it wasn't at their house - I think it's because they get to come and trash my house and eat all of my food. But anyway - I'll be setting up the house tomorrow. I was also chosen to host the Secret Decemberween Gift Exchange. Well, it's not really an exchange, because I'm buying all the presents. Anyway, today I went out-of-city using the Schmick to this mall a couple of hundred kilometres away and bought all the presents.

First off, I decided to buy something for The Poopsmith who has everything. I originally decided to get him some soap, but I don't really think he'd like that. So, I got him this new fragrence - "Essence of Whats-it". I think he'll enjoy it. I moved on the next store to buy something for Marzipan. She's likes bunnies and all, so I got her a rather roomy bunny cage, along with like a jillion accessories. Hopefully she'll be able to catch come bunnies that don't end up on the King of Town's dinner plate. Speaking of the King of Town, I just went to the food court and ordered as much food as I could carry. I ended up having to take it all back to the Schmick. Well, three people down, and eight to go.

Walking back in, I decided to get the new version of Flash for The Cheat. He seems to be pretty into that sort of thing. While I was in the computer store, I also bought Strong Bad a new time travel program, "time_travel2.exe". I was even able to program it instore for his personal usage. I don't know anything about programming, but the gooey was just so easy to use! None of this text-based-interface junk. So, I bought those two things and went next door to this music store. I had a look around for something Strong Sad would like, but I didn't really know his taste. I just asked the guy at the coonter if they had anything for "depresing-type" people, and he gave me the latest Goth release. I also got a "Covered Bridges Revealed" music video. He seems to like that sort of thing. I paid for everything, emptied my load into the Schmick, and prepared for another round of shopping. Six down, five to go.

As I walked past a clothes store, I saw the perfect thing for Homestar - skin tight wite pants. I quickly went in and bought in, and while I was there, I also bought the deluxe 20-liter pack of Squeaky Polish. Well, it was just ordinary polish, but I call it Squeaky Polish. I decided at this point it would be good to get a shopping trolley. So I did! I bought one, actually. With four presents left, I went into the closet cellular-related-phone-type store. I bought one of the newest mobile phones on the market, complete with 3 megapixel camera, up to three minutes of movie recording, wireless Bluetooth connection, and other technical stuff like that. I had no idea what it all meant, but it sounded good, so I bought one for Pom Pom. As I left the store, I realised that the mall would be closing in thirty minutes. I only had half-an-hour to buys presents for Gnaw Mad, Bubs and the Coach. Knowing that the Coach was all about sport, I quickly dashed into the sports store. I just bought Coach a pack of fifteen whistles and a new sports hat that looks identical to his current one. I was about to leave, but then I saw the perfect punching bag for Strong Mad. By this point I only had fifteen minutes left, and no idea what to buy for Bubs. I started to push the trolley out of the store, but unfortunately I didn't see the locked glass door. I sure did feel it, though. After that, I just ran as fast as I could towards the elevator. UNluckily, the elevator was pretty much all glass, and to make things worse, the doors were closing. I sped up, but I sped up a little too much. I just got through the doors, but I smashed out the other side, through the opposite elevator and out the doors. I decided to take the stairs.

It turns out taking the stairs wasn't that easy. I decided to just sit on the trolley, hold the stuff down and push myself down. This worked, but I was feeling rather sore by the time I got to the bottom. I just ran out to the Schmick, unloaded everything and left as fast as I could. At this point in time I realised I hadn't bought a present for Bubs. I'm just going to give him pencil shavings - there's no way I can go back to that mall without being arrested on-site. Oh, well.

Now, I'm going to press BUTTON 578 in my Experiment Room. It will automatically wrap these presents. Off I go.

Current mood: Elevatored

Current flash movie: Lemur Alert - Kiki

Well, it's been several months since me and Homeschool defeated our evil counterparts. I haven't been up to much since then, but yesterday I decided to go and find as much chocolate as I could. And eat it.

My first stop was Bubsesesss... Concession Stand. He was about to get his gun, but then a showed him all the pencil shavings I had. Then he seemed a little to eager to serve me. He showed me seven different kinds of chocolate. I bought them all, put them in my mouth, and moved on.

My next stop was Marzipan's house. She said that she had a few blocks of chocolate left from that old Reddest Radish competition. Good thing she kept them well refridgerated. She gave me the chocolate, I stored it, and continued to move.

I then went to see the King of Town. He didn't feel like giving up any of his chocolate, so I snuck some when he wasn't looking. Moving outside, I saw this huge pile of chocolate! I went to get some, but The Poopsmith hit me on the head with his shovel. It kind of hurt, so I left to go back home.

When I got back home, I emptied my stash onto, or more accurately, into, my bed. I took my bed and brought it into the Experiment Room. I pressed BUTTON 143 and my bed disappeaed briefly. It re-appeared, but it was empty. I heard a beep, and the giant screen that I got to stay up using BUTTON 1002 starting displaying the 15 different kinds of chocolate I obtained. As it displayed each chocolate, a recently-appeared conveyor belt gave me a sample of the chocolate. The first kind was your regular, diary milk chocolate. The second kind was sort of the same as the first, but instead, it had a light chocolate layer on the top. The third kind was the first kind but instead in had a caramel center. The fourth kind was the third kind but instead it had a peppermint center. The fifth kind was some extremely sickly dark chocolate. The sixth kind had assorted nuts in it. The seventh kind was strawberry chocolate. After the seventh kind, things started getting interesting.

The eighth chocolate gives you temporary telekenectic powers, while tasting like regular chocolate. The nine kind of chocolate was made of white chocolate, and eating it made you hover in the air. It sounds like a good thing, but you can't actually move unless you push off of something. It took me twenty minutes before I figured out that I had to eat some more of the ninth kind of chocolate to get back down. The eleventh kind of chocolate looked like the first kind of chocolate, but when you took a bite out of it, some extremely high-pressure semi-liquid chocolate shoots into your face. After cleaning my face off, I realised it also made you like, 15 kilograms heavier. This was negated by the twelfth kind of chocolate, which makes you lighter. However, I had to eat 15 kilos of it. It tasted good though, because it had some form of creamy center. The thirteenth kind of chocolate was glowing. For some reason I felt like I need to eat it, so I did. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was on the ceiling. Very odd indeed. The forteenth kind of chocolate was all sparkly and rainbow-coloured. I took a bite of it, and I tells ya, there were so many flavours. Chocolate, strawberry, pineapple, grapefruit, caramel, etc, etc. Lots of flavours. Then, there was the very last kind of chocolate. The fifteenth kind. I slowly went to eat it, but then the screen flashed me a warning. It also emitted a sound siren. It was so sudden, I accidentally swollowed it. The screen then told me it was a transformation chocolate. It would transform me into the first person I thought of. Unfortunately, it reminded me of that time in 20X6 when I turned into the giant brain. Great. Next thing I know, I'm a giant brain. I decide to just reverse the effect by eating some more of the chocolate. The conveyor belt supplies another sample, but I don't know how to pick it up, or to eat it for that matter. So, I just think about absorbing it. It doesn't work. I get mad and I shoot a laserball at it. It hits the chocolate, making it splatter all over me. The chocolate that landed on my... um... what's the lower red thing called? Whatever it's called, it asorbed the chocolate. I think of myself, and I'm turned back into myself. Phew. Maybe next time I shouldn't eat red chocolates with "Danger" on it. But it was delicious though. Just tasted like regular chocolate.

So, I've had enough chocolate for the time being. I've put the remainder of the chocolate in the fridge, so I'll never run out of chocolate. Sorta.

Current mood: Transformated

Current flash movie: Who likes chicken? - Anti-Marzipan

Well, I've managed to get rid of Strong Bad. But that's another story. It's time for me to beat procrastination, and let you know of the thrilling conclusion to this whole Homsar and Homeschool verse... Homsar and Homeschool.

So, where I last left you guys on the edge of you seats, me and Homeschool (the non-evil version) were running the 500metres back to the Schmick. After aruging about who would drive, we... wait a minute, I've already told you that. Let me just check my previous blog entry... oh, here we are. Okay, so we practically flew back home in 382 seconds. But all was not well - there was chaos and destruction everywhere! The Stick was broken, Bubs' Concession Stand had been reduced to a pile of bricks, and my house had been levelled. We realised we were too late. Then the answer hit me like a brick from that dank cellar - time travel! As a matter of fact, that could've been the solution the whole time. I hate it when I think of things like that. So, I look around for the Rocko, but then I realise that it's currently at Bubs' being repaired. Which is sort of a problem, considering it no longer exists in it's whole form. We decide that the best thing we could do now is take on the evil Homsar and Homeschool. We walked around looking for them - it's so eerie. The entire area was just silent. You could cut the air with a knife. I tried it, and it actually worked. I actually displaced the oxygen in the area where I moved the nife for a short amount of time. Homeschool decides it would be better to split up. I didn't really want to, but I realised it would help us cover more ground. After exploring around Bubs' Concession Stand, I felt a short pain in the back of my head and I woke up in a cellar. Grand. I don't know how much time has past, but all I know is that I'm sick of cellars. After groping around in the dark, I find some sort of large brick. Don't ask why, but I decided to juggle it. When I caught it, it flipped open, to reveal that it was the Rocko 1024! I quickly opened my time travel program and went back an amount of time. I couldn't tell, because apparently Bubs hadn't gotten around to fixing the backlight yet, so as soon as I went to type something in it went out. I just blindly hit some keys, hoping for the best.

Swirlyness. That's all that can describe what happened next. After the swirlyness, I found myself in Bubs' not-yet-destroyed basement with the almost-repaired-but-still-without-power Rocko. I decided to leave, but when Bubs saw me come up, well, you can imagine. I just decided to knock him out. It was for the best. Looking around, I saw Homeschool in the distance. I ran up to him, not thinking. I should've been more careful. He

Edit: No excuses! On with the story!

He picked me up and threw me. Hard. Rite into a wall. Luckily, Squeaky cushioned the fall. Knowing that Squeaky could beat Homeschool easily, and me now knowing that it was the Homeschool, I ran as fast as I could towards Homeschool. Running headfirst, I smashed into him with such force he just flew backwards a couple of metres. He was down for the count. I was feeling good with myself, until I turned around, and saw none other then the evil Homsar. He surprised me, and evil Squeaky knocked my Squeaky off. Now I was completely defenceless. I decided to utilise what skills I had, so I walked around the screen. Man, it's been a while since I heard that cool walking sound. I got up the top before realising that evil Homsar had meeten me there. Evil Squeaky flew up and knocked me off. I fell off. Without Squeaky, I would probably break my neck. Wait a minute, I have a neck? Anyway, I thought all was lost, but then I landed on something soft which broke my fall. It was none other then...

"Homsar?" Oh no. I was too slow. The past me had already come flying back. Now that he had seen me, he probably wouldn't be thinking about time travel. Which means... well, it's a paradox. I got off Homsar, forgetting about Homsar for the time being. Homsar just said, "I heard you needed some help. It's great to see you again!" Turns out it was Universal Headmaster Homsar! I then realised that Evil Homsar had fallen on my head. Ouch. However, Homsar helped me out by knocking him off. While Universal Headmaster Homsar and Evil Homsar were battling, Regular Homsar (that's me) ran over and grabbed Squeaky. Now that Evil Homsar was outnumbered he didn't stand a chance. We both used Squeaky, knocking Evil Squeaky off. It came around in a circle, but then Universal Headmaster Squeaky knocked it away. Now that Evil Homsar was defenceless, I gave him the same treatment as Evil Homeschool.

After Homsar and Homeschool were tied up, Universal Headmaster Homsar thanked me. For some raisen or other, all the residents of Free Country were still not around. "Where are they?", I wondered. I didn't really have time to think about it, because at that point in time, Past Homsar and Homeschool came back. We all just looked at eachother.

"What the crap?!" we heard Trevor shout. Well, I guess it was kind of weird. There was Past Homsar, Regular Homsar, Universal Headmaster Homsar and Evil Homsar (tied up) just standing in a line. To Trevor, it was just four Homsars. With Trevor's shout, it brought everybody else out. "Hey, we're trying to watch a movie!" Strong Bad said. I guess that explains why they were oblivious to everything that was happening. Anyway, Universal Headmaster Homsar explained that he was from the IMI-tation universe, a sub-universe of the J05H-ooa universe. This was also the IMI-tation universe, but it was a sub-universe of the C-14-mmy universe instead. He said the two IMI-tation universes were very alike, but there were small differences. Like, in this universe, we didn't have a Universal Headmaster. However, since Universal Headmaster Homsar was in an ajoining universe, he had power over both universes, and in fact, all IMI-tation universes. Homsar then brought a blue marble out of his mouth. Everybody eargerly looked at it, but then it emitted a grand flash. When it disappeared, Evil Homsar and Homeschool were gone, as were everybody else expect for Universal Headmaster Homsar, me and Homeschool.

Universal Headmaster Homsar said that he cleared the memories of everybody except for us. The evil Homsar and Homeschool's were sent to the Clone Prison, a huge facility in the Pr-150-n universe, which was a global universe at the top level. All clones were sent to that universe, accessible by only the Universal Headmaster-master and appointed sub masters. It was all very confusing, but I was assured that they wouldn't be coming back. All the other residents of Free Country had there memories modified, and they were sent back to the Strong residence to continue watching the movie. Bubs was sent back to his Concession Stand, with all memories of Homsar asking him to repair Rocko forgotten. "But why?" I asked.

Homsar simply replied by opening his mouth and taking out the Rocko 1024! It looked brand new. I thanked Universal Headmaster Homsar as he brought out the red marble and disappeared in a flash of fire.

So there you have it. We have no idea who was behind the giant secret facility or the kidnapping of Homeschool, but we don't really care. We're just going to presume he died in the blast. So, anyway...

It's not the end of my blog. Just the end of this wacky adventure. I'm tired. I need food.

Blog entry edited by Homsar at 2:32PM, 19th of December 2005

Current mood: Swirlyed

Current flash movie: Trevormail 32 - homestarmy - Booty

Would you believe me if I said that that was the world's largest pizza? Didn't thunk so. Well, rather then give millions of reasons why I haven't updated in over a month, I'll just tell you some more of that evil Homeschool story.

When we last left our heroes (namely me), we were walking down an extremely long hallway down to door 874D. I don't know somebody would design a complex like this. Haven't they heard of the monorail befour? But anyway, we were up to around 760, when the evil Homsar and Homeschool burst out of door 762D. Grabbing the headset, I pressed the button, and it fizzled. Great. Homeschool started thinking up all these complex solutions, but I just threw the headset at the evil Homeschool and he "Simulation, off!" I fell smack onto the floor of the simulation room. I got up, dizzily. Homeschool was in the corner. "That sure was eventful, wasn't it?" he said. I replied with a simple yes. All of a sudden, evil Homsar burst through the wall. I was busy trying to figure out what just happened...

...and I woke up. Wow. Talk about a deus ex machina. I got out of box, and went into the kitchen to prepare some toast. I got some bread, and set the toaster to 3, medium brown. I went to the fridge to get out some margaine, but I noticed the ventilation system was acting perculiarly. It was sucking up air, giving the illusion that air was rushing up from beneath me. But that would be impossible, considering I was standing on the floor. "Hey, Homsar!" said Homeschool, who was standing in the other corner of the room. I was about to reply, but he said again, "Homsar! You there?" I was puzzled, seeing I was standing in the same room as him. "Homsar! Wake up!" And whaddaya know, I blink, and I find myself falling again. Dang.

Well, we're still falling. Homeschool says he's made some calculations, and we should be hitting ground in around 3 minutes and 14 seconds, give or take a few milliseconds. He said we'd be hitting at a speed sufficient enough to effectively moosh every bone in our bodies to pulp. I really would've felt better not knowing that. So, with that out of the way, we just talked a little. You know, about the weather, how I was going. We hadn't talked for a while, so it was good to catch up. A few minutes later, we then remembered about the ground rushing up at a really, really fast speed. I closed my eyes... I couldn't stand to watch! A few seconds later, I still hadn't hit the ground, so I opened my eyes. Big mistake. I was only a few metres from the ground. I yelled out so loud I'm pretty sure the people back home heard it. So, I closed my eyes again, only to feel myself zoom upwards again. Up, down, rinse, and repeart. After a few minutes of going up and down, me and Homeschool were finally on the ground. Or, more accurately...

"Wow, thank goodness for that Convieniently Placed Trampoline", Homeschool said. I couldn't agree more. We got off the trampoline and found out we were on a roof. We looked around for a little while, and then I found an access hatch. We lifted it up, and I volunteered for Homeschool to hold my feet and lower me down. Something tells me he wasn't very pleased, but hey, it was needed. He lowered me down a little too fast and I hit my head on a pipe. I yelled out, which startled Homeschool, meaning he dropped me straight ontoo the pipe. Ouch. I rolled off the pipe and out the door. After rubbing my head, I looked at the door I came out of, and I saw it was marked 924A. Due to my past experiences in this place, I knew that 925A would be an elevator. So I opened teh door, and the elevator was there. Easy. I then realised Homeschool was calling out, so I said it would be safe to come down. Some how, he tripped, and hit his head on the pipe also. I couldn't help but laugh. After we shouted at eachother for a little while, we took the elevator down to 125A. It was only a short walk before we were at the exit. There was no handle to open it, just two giant red buttons. Due to my quick thinking, I pressed both of them at the same time. The door slid open, and we heard a voice saying, "Self destruct in 600 seconds." I tells ya, we could've broken the world record running the 500metres back to the Schmick. After aruging about who would drive, I got in, and floored it. I could here the wheels spinning, but we weren't moving! Ahhh! WE'RE DOOMED!!!... I thought. Then Homeschool indicated the Force Field message. I then put the Schmick into reversed, and floored it. Something tells me Homeschool should've designed this thing with a rear-vision mirror. I reveresed straight into the only tree in the desert. After arguing some more, we ended up getting back on course. Homeschool ordered the Schmick to patch into the intercom system of the complex. There was 436 seconds to go. We just kept on driving. Homeschool showed me the secret panel that you could use to make the car go faster. I decided this would be a good time to put my seatbelt on. Homeschool open the panel and pressed a button. The Schmick then turned from a slightly hovering car into a, literally, flying car. We were zooming through the landscape. As a matter of fact, in 382 seconds, we were home. But all was not well...

Oh no! NO! It's Strong Bad! How did he find me-AHRG;BLLBLBLBLBLL...

Current mood: Pizzored

Current flash movie: Genesis - Part 17 - The Convieniently Placed Trampoline - Jlammy