Other Character Email Ice Machine/subliminal message

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Contents

Synopsis

The Almighty Fridge In: subliminal message - The end of FreezyKey King? Choose wisely, sinisters!

The conclusion to File One! Ol' Bubba gets kidnapped, An Ice Machine is jibbilied, and...the FreezyKey...we pine for you.

Cast (in order of appearance): Dr. Donovan, Ol' Bubba, An Ice Machine, The "Boss"

Page Title: How lowe can u gowe?

132(99) LINES, DUDETTE! NO EASTER EGGS LINESES INCLUDED, DAWGETTE. SPACES IS INCLUDED?!!

Transcript

{Open up to blackness. Just then, lights flicker on. Dr. Donovan with safety goggles is standing next to a horribly mangled power box that is attached to the wall.}

DR. DONOVAN: Ah, here we go. That should be the last of the Nys-Charges in place.

{Cut to Ol’ Bubba solving a jigsaw puzzle on a table. Half of the jigsaw reveals an iPod.}

OL’ BUBBA: Quit yer hollerin’, ol’ sci’ntist! I’m tryin’ to solve this her’ jigsawamathing.

DR. DONOVAN: Okay, then. I’ll tell you when I’m done with this Challenge Gun.

{Dr. Donovan walks off-screen, leaving Ol’ Bubba to do his business. Suddenly, a giant metal hand shoots up from beneath his chair, sending both him and it flying. The hand grabs Ol’ Bubba and splinters the chair as it prepares to retract downwards.}

OL’ BUBBA: {screaming} AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

{Abruptly cut to An Ice Machine in front of the FreezyKey, same DEATHTRAPARLOR as before. He suddenly jolts awake and jumps back, frightened.}

ICE MACHINE: ARGH!-BUBBLE!-CLEVER!-PLEVER!-MOMMY! {suddenly stands still, half-awake} Uh…what a horrible nightmare…zzzzngh…I need to balance my biorhythm a bit more. {starts typing in c://program files/Ice Machine Email V1.5”} Okay, now for another…email…snore sounds…thing. {brings up email}

ICE MACHINE: {reading} There’s a message in my Alpha-bits. It says oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-etcetera-etcetera-yap-yap-dribble-drabble. Man, if I take more of this zeroey crud, it’ll possibly blow me apart. But fortunately for all of you folks out there…

{A gray screen drops down and a small rectangular box labeled “AWESOME DECODER VERSION ECKSDEE” falls from the top of the screen.}

ANNOUNCER: It’s the NEW! {“n00” appears on screen, as well as several other “n00”s and “newb”s and “LOLBBQ!!!”} NEW! Newwwwwwwwwwwww. Awesome decoder version ECKSDEE!!! {The box rams into the camera, oh-so-slightly breaking it.}

{Cut to a red background.}

ANNOUNCER: The latest decoding awesomeness from Anim8-Bit Storyline Productions features the following: {words appear with bullets as he says them} Decoding up to 3,923,904 languages! {“3,923,904” is quickly crossed out and replaced with “PLEVERY!!!”, then it is also quickly crossed out and replaced with “mildly humorous Googolplexiations”} Slow interface for dumbheads! {“Beavis and Buttdance” is written} Tutorials on how to crack any code besides illegal serial keys! {“Serial key not cracking, ish ellegale!” is written} But best of all, 599 ARCADE GAMES IN 4D!!! {“4D Gaming Protocalle” is written} So what are you waiting for? {a sad face appears on screen, erasing the text} For just three payments of $999, you will be a happier earthling! {happy face replaces sad face} Call now at 1-800-YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT! {“1-800-YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT” appears} Do it or we impale you with a stick!

{Static, then we cut back to An Ice Machine, who has his copy of said product, as seen on his head.}

ICE MACHINE: Alright, time to pop the disc into the arctic microwave. Meh, I did that already. Because I’m lazy and…err…yeah. {types in “c://program files/anim8-bit/A.D.VXD” and presses enter} Alright, bring it on up!

AWESOME DECODER VERSION ECKSDEE!!!

By a man named Anim8-bit! Challenge galorings!

ICE MACHINE: Okay, now time to decode email! {types in “decode open email” and presses enter} Icing on cake for me!

{Various tick tocks are heard as the screen says

LOAD IT UP…

then

DONE.

The “ooooooo” in the message reveals

THIS IS YOUR LEADER, ANARCHY GALORE.
YOU WILL FACE IMMENSE DOOM.
PLEASE SHUT YOUR PORTHOLE AND DIE ALREADY.
CHALLENGING AT BORDER OF RED BUTTON ICE LAND AND ICE ZONE.
BE SQUARE OR BE OLD.

}

ICE MACHINE: What. The. Crap. Anarchy Galore, what a stupid name. More like, Golfball Fore! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

{Suddenly, a crashing sound mixed with small explosions is heard, and flying rubble quickly flies in from from the left, knocking An Ice Machine offscreen and denting the FreezyKey. The smoke from the impact clouds the screen, and it fades to reveal An Ice Machine slumped sideways on the floor. He opens his closed eyes and gets up to see that the FreezyKey has been dented on its right side(left from his view).}

ICE MACHINE: Aw, crap. This freezing thingamabob…is…dead. {pulls out monkeywrench} But not without a fight! Hyah! {whacks FreezyKey five times with the wrench, then stops} Okay, it’s even worse. But never fear! I can always go to the tech store…which…{nervous}…is 600 miles away from here…aw, now what?

{Cut to An Ice Machine treading along the snow. He is carrying his FreezyKey on his top hatch.}

ICE MACHINE: {singing} Treading along the snow, a-hum-dum, you can probably exercise off a few pounds or more, shave a little frostbite off, hum-de-de, hum-dum!

{The background eventually changes to a snowy warzone where Stothoses and Fullbides are zipping around like crazy. Nukes are flying everywhere, and explosions are seen, with flying robotic limbs from the impact.}

ICE MACHINE: {singing} And I’m gonna end up being a lean, mean, Ice Machine, which I already am, and I just might be insane as I am! Whee-hee!

{He skids to a halt as we quickly pan in on his face. Fade to white. Cue a black-and-white montage of flashing pictures. The first one reveals Metal Gear K at the border tearing a Chorch in half with its bare hands, the next one shows Metal Gear K slashing up a posse of Jaros, and the third shows Ol’ Bubba being grabbed by a fist, as seen in the beginning of this email. A flash, and we snap back to reality. An Ice Machine is dazed.}

ICE MACHINE: Whuh…whuh? Man, I better stop doing all these icy snow puns.

{A brief shot of the border separating Red Button Ice Land and Ice Zone.}

ICE MACHINE: And this is the place…

{Wind blows off excess snow near the border, revealing the limbs of the torn-up robots.}

ICE MACHINE: GASPNESS! I mean…GASPNESSICE!!! No, this can’t be right! This has to be wrong somehow! {stumbles backwards uneasily} It shouldn’t happen! {record scratch, stops stumbling} Wait, why am I saying this? Why can’t I just ignore all these…flashbacks…and get to that repair shop already? I should probably-

{Suddenly, the ground beneath An Ice Machine gives in and he falls through, the FreezyKey falling behind him.}

ICE MACHINE: {echo} I’mmmmmmmmmm goinnnnnggggggg toooooooooo regretttttttttt thisssssssss!!!

{Thud! Two retractable metal shutters cover the hole An Ice Machine has passed through. A shadowy figure, the same one from SINISTECH INC., comes to the scene and observes the shutters.}

MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: Yes…excellent. Soon this world will be mine for the kill. But first, the newest episode of that Ninjitsu animé! Can’t miss it. {runs off-screen}

{A short, dramatic 8-bit clip of music plays as the words “GAME OVER” are displayed. As the music stops, the email anicemachine@redbuttonspies.com appears.}

Easter Eggs

  • Clicking on the first 0 in "1-800-YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT" brings up this testimony by everyone's favorite blue midget, right after the reference about being impaled by the stick:

{Cut to a blue background. Homsar's bowler hat, so-called "Squeaky", is shaped like a CD-ROM.}

HOMSAR: Don't thank your chocolate milk for that!

  • Wait ten seconds after An Ice Machine's email shows up to see the words: "FILE ONE FINALE".
  • Click "FILE" to replay the AWESOME DECODER VERSION ECKSDEE commercial.
  • Click "ONE" to view a note from your creator:
Hi everyone! This is your not leader Markie speaking to you at Mono Stereo. Things have been running smoothly ever since I created An Ice Machine emails. I have decided to release a behind the scenes manuscript/raw egg draft of all of File One! -Markie Attachment: anicemachine.rtf
    • The document isn't available for download yet.
    • Clicking the words "Markie" redirects you to Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails.
    • Clicking the words "Mono Stereo" brings up a montage of An Ice Machine.

{An Ice Machine is falling upside-down with the FreezyKey above him. He is currently falling through a grey metal shaft. He is first falling upside-down, then right-side-up, then spinning 360 degrees, then trying to check his email on the FreezyKey, then chewing on a jumbo-sized pencil, and finally blowing his "nose" on a tissue. The ice from his "nose" freezes the tissue and he releases it in freefall.}

  • Click "FINALE" to bring up another note:
FILE TWO SNEAK PEEKS:
-The originalities of teht Shadowy Figure not Mysterious Boss is going to be a revealance to the stars!
-Under Sticklyman's rule? Maybe so, not that!
-The FreezyKey go goo goo ga ga.
END PLAY!!!

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • I originally intended for the FreezyKey to blow up, but I screwed that in terms on not having enough compy deaths.

Explanations

  • Anim8-Bit is what I would envision 20X6 Videlectrix to be like.

Real-World References

  • Beavis and Butthead are mentioned.
  • AWESOME DECODED VERSION ECKSDEE parodies many system tools, most preferrably Norton Antivirus.
  • Homsar's testimony is based off of suntan.
  • The flashbacks are inspired by too much horror movies.
  • The "Boss" says Ninjitsu animé, which refers to Naruto.
  • At the fanstuff, Super Sam claims that Homsar's Bowler Hat is named "Squeaky".
    • Speaking of Super Sam, this email comes close to referencing the famous JIBNEY!!! craze.
  • The phrase "BE SQUARE OR BE OLD" comes from:
    • The old phrase "Be there or be square"...
    • ...and the KND motto "You're either in, or you're old". Kids these days.

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