Other Character Email Pan Pan/Movies

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Contents

Summary

Pan Pan answers questions about movies.

Cast (in order of appearence): Pan Pan, 1-Up, Jaro, ???, Dangeresque Three (hologram), Renaldo (hologram), Dangeresque (hologram), Unnamed Bad Guy (hologram), Dangeresque Too (hologram)

Length: 1,781 Words

Page Title: Sick 36.60 Style with the OptiPilot

Transcript

{Cut to Pan Pan in bed. Both of his legs are in casts, and he still has an ice bag on his head. His face looks slightly pale, there are two cruches and a wheelchair next to him. There is a large amount of banging in the backround. There are several trays on a nearby table, and there are tons of plates. Tons of medication bottles are scattered all over the floor.}

PAN PAN: (Ohh... I still feel sick.)

{Pan down, and there's a bucket, filled with a green, thick liquid. Pan up back to Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (I don't think that 1-Up is going along better...)

{Cut to a bed. There's a full body cast in the shape of 1-Up. There's some moaning. Pan right to reveil that 1-Up is standing next to the bed.}

1-UP: Horray! Now that I've made myself out of hospital casting material, my collection of "1-Up Made out of Akward Things" is complete!

{Cut back to Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (And I don't think that Stinkoman is that well off also.)

{Cut to a door. The door has several dents in it. The door is bound to the walls by a chain. Stinkoman is heard shouting}

STINKOMAN: Let me out of here!

PAN PAN: {Looks out the window} (And to believe that my insurer didn't insure me for attacks from aliens.)

{Pan out to show that there's a Jaro by Pan Pan's bed holding a stack of papers. He's also wearing glasses.}

JARO: Actually, your insurance company, or any other company didn't offer insurance from alien attacks.

PAN PAN: ((I knew that I should have invested in the stock exchange...) Well, does my insurance have an "akward freak occurances" section?)

JARO: {Keeps looking at the papers} No.

PAN PAN: (Well, then, please leave.)

JARO: Okay. {Leaves the room}

PAN PAN: (Wow, I'm bored.) {Notices the OPtiPilot XZ on it's stand on the table.} (Well, better check it now, considering what happened last time...)

{Pan Pan picks up the OptiPilot.}

PAN PAN: (Please give me an email. And make it one that I can answer without me having to lose my sanity!

OPTIPILOT: {robotic voice} Hello owner. You have three unread emails. Picking random email.

{The Optipilot shoots out a holographic screen with the following email on it. Pan in on the email. Pan Pan reads it out loud. He reads "20X6" as "The Present". He also reads "HR1FANJ" as "Random letters and numbers that I will not understand". (translated from "badalla")}

PAN PAN: (Well, what's with your name? Ahch Are One Ayr En Jay? You sure that's not virus? OptiPilot, virus scan!)

{Pause a few seconds.}

OPTIPILOT: {robotic voice} Zero viruses detected.

PAN PAN: (Okay.) {What Pan Pan says is translated and appears on the holographic screen.} (Well, I don't know what you mean. If you mean actually breaking the movie, then it'd be Movie Smashers III: Total Annihilation. There's this corrupt goverment who's planning on making movies that hypnotise the people who watch them. And, there's this person who's moving in to break the movies. OptiPilot! Show clip!)

{The OptiPilot changes the holographic screen to a LOADiNG screen. A movie clip starts playing. Zoom in on the movie. There are two boxes in the lower right corner. One is like a timer, starting at 2:46. There's another box, with the number 73 in it. The first box dimminishes like a timer. There's this guy with black clothes and black pants. He peeks around a corner, and seeing that there's no one here, he picks up his wrist, and opens the watch.}

??? Hello. This is Plecking Unit, in position FGH26 in Block 218DF. Connecting to AG#@!^.

PERSON AT HOME BASE: This is A^%G(E$. Move into collect the goods.

???: Copy that. Moving in. {Disconnects the line.}

{??? goes across the corner. Cut to a door labeled "Secret Room". ??? moves in and opens the door. The room is filled with movie disks. The timer counter 2:12. ??? takes out a club and breaks several movies. The number 73 increases by one each time a movie is destroyed, and it goes up to 824, and still rising. Static.}

{Pan out to Pan Pan. The holographic screen shuts off and gets replaced by the email screen.}

PAN PAN: (But, Random Nunbers, if you meant the first series to have more then 1,000 movies in the series, then I have something to show you. It's called... Dangeresque. The series started X0 years ago. The latest movie is Dangeresque 1,000 - Universal Blowout. It's about this guy called Dangeresque, who does some questionable crime fighting. It's the only series that has more than 1,000 movies. OptiPilot! Show clip!)

{The OptiPilot shuts off the email screen, and then another holographic screen comes up. Zoom in on the screen. The image shows someone that looks like Homeschool, but with cool shades, sitting at a table with Renaldo. The only light is coming from an overhead light. The room is smoky, but the Homeschool lookalike is wearing a gas mask, while Renaldo isn't.}

HOMESCHOOL LOOKALIKE: I gotta hand it to you Renaldo. I'm going to the moon in a few days.

RENALDO: That's who I called you here! In order to recive the Dangeresque title, you have to help out the main Dangeresques in something.

HOMESCHOOL LOOKALIKE: Yeah, yeah. What's the mission?

RENALDO: Well, Dangeresque Three, you won't have the privlages of the Dangeresques until you help with the mission I've assigned you.

DANGERESQUE THREE: What's the mission?

RENALDO: {Puts a file on the table} Read this.

DANGERESQUE THREE: {Picks up the file. He opens it and takes out a paper, and starts reading it.} You want me to go to Area Mariner and reinforce there to prepare for construction?

RENALDO: Yes, and I also need you to help deliver supplies. Actually, you're first mission in securing the area is to develop an oxygen mine.

DANGERESQUE THREE: How does that help secure the area?

RENALDO: If the crew has proper oxygen, then they'll defend better.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Doesn't everyone?

RENALDO: Yeah.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Well, I don't know about it Renaldo. It sounds a bit too hard.

RENALDO: All you have to do is find the premafrost, thaw it, then figure out a way to send it to the power generator, and then the diffusion area.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Why me?

RENALDO: {Picks up another file, labeled "DANGERESQUE THREE". He takes out a piece of paper, and then reads it.} Because you had the highest score in the lateral thinking department.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Huh? I just did what any other person would do.

RENALDO: I don't think that anyone else thought of using a special screw to move the water from the river to the convetor belt.

DANGERESQUE THREE: There was no other option! You had a large tube, a miniature scale spiral staircase, some securing and a pail. What other choice did you have?

RENALDO: Most people just used the bucket and used the other things as material for a dam to keep the water back.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Oh. So, when's my rocket?

RENALDO: At the end of the week.

DANGERESQUE THREE: Fair enough. I just got an idea. {Walks up and leaves the room}

RENALDO: {Walks up and leaves the room also.}

{Pan out, and the holographic screen shuts down. The OptiPilot shoots out the email screen again}

PAN PAN: (But then again, you could mean, a movie series that has eliminated 1,000 of it's competitors. Well, in that case, it'd be... The Original Adventures of Dangeresque. It's the set of the several original Dangeresque movies, that were made X0 years ago. They were the homebrew movies, and they now dominate the catagory of "The Worst Movies Ever". They've eliminated every other series in the catagory. OptiPilot! Show Clip!)

{The holographic email screen shuts off. The OptiPilot shoots out another screen, with a movie clip on it. Zoom in on the movie screen, to reveil that Dangeresque is standing on top of Bubs' Concession Stand.}

DANGERESQUE: So it looks like I'm gonna have to jump! {Jumps off the building. Pan down to see Strong Sad in his Dangeresque costume falling off a ladder, and landing on a bunch of rocks. The scene is edited so that Dangeresque walks away}

{Cut to The Field. Dangeresque walks onscreen, and sees The Stick, and stares at it.}

DANGERESQUE: So, The Stick. Have you seen that tape?

{The Stick remains quiet.}

DANGERESQUE: Giving me the quiet treatmenmt, huh? {Pokes The Stick.}

{Cut to Bubs in his evil lair, from Dangeresque I.He is wearing a monocle, and is holding The Cheat.}

BUBS: Well, let's see you get out of my trap! {Bubs pulls a lever. Cut back to Dangeresque. A pit opens up, and Dangeresque falls in}

DANGERESQUE: Cut, CUT! Where did this hole come from?

COACH Z: {Walks in, along with Bubs and The Cheat}

BUBS: {Rubs the back of his head.} Yeah, uh, the moles are in eating season.

THE CHEAT: {assuring The Cheat noises}

DANGERESQUE: No, don't cut this scene! We just gotta... figure out... how to tweak the dialoge now so that... it fits in to the movie.

THE CHEAT: {Whatever The Cheat noises}

COACH Z: Okay. Uh... {Puts on his hat} Alright, Dangeresque, are you okay? {Bubs and The Cheat walk offscreen}

DANGERESQUE: Yeah. I'm fine, Renaldo, except that everywhere hurts.

RENALDO: Okay.

{Bubs walks in, wearing a monocle. The Cheat follows him. Bubs takes out a comb.}

UNNAMED BAD GUY: Alright, Dangerskew, you're time is up!

DANGERESQUE: {Leaping out of the hole} Where did you get that comb?

UNNAMED BAD GUY: I got it from a store!

RENALDO: Alright enemy, give us the comb!

UNNAMED BAD GUY: Sure! Just give me Dangeresque Too.

{Dangeresque Too walks in.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Did somebody call my name?

DANGERESQUE: Hey look! Rienforcements arrived!

RENALDO: Actually, Dangeresque Too, you look nothing like Reinforcements.

UNNAMED BAD GUY: I'll give you this comb if you give me Dangeresque Too!

DANGERESQUE: No way!

UNNAMED BAD GUY: Well then, be prepared to fight!

{Static. Pan out and the holographic screen shuts off. Cut back to Pan Pan in bed. The email screen pops back up.}

PAN PAN: (I hope that answers your question. Now, I need to go eat some food (Rice is in season, so it's better then three weeks ago...))

{Pan Pan puts down the OptiPilot on it's stand on the table. Pan Pan then picks up his crutches and hobbles offscreen. Cut to a close up of the OptiPilot on it's stand. It shoots out the following message:}

Click here to email Pan Pan at flyingpanda529@cocomail.com


Easter Eggs

You will need to look for the Easter Eggs yourself in the Transcript. If you've found all three Easter Eggs, you are allowed to click on the [edit] button. If not, it's advised that you attempt to find the Easter Eggs. If you truly can't find all two, click on the [edit] button.


Fun Facts

  • The series Dangeresque is obviously the same one from the Homestar Runner website.
  • This email continues from Aliens, in the way that Pan Pan is in a cast.
  • Stinkoman having himself Quarintined in his room is a refrence to sick day.

External Links

Other Character Email Pan Pan

Diet | Pans | Friendship | Amusement Park | Time Travel | Tai Chi | Keyboard | Technology | Pom Pom | Aliens | Movies

Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Pan_Pan/Movies"