Other Character Email The Unguraits/Contractions
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits reprogram Stunko!
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Chorch Commander, Sidekick Bob, WUSS, Shadowy Figure, Kyle, The Boss Trio, Saargtsson, Cops
Transcript
UNUGRAITS #1: We are going to check the email.
Dear Unguraits, Have you thought of reprogramming Stlunko yet? He really wants to know what it's like to talk in contractions without a robot voice. He's also annoying us. -Tampo and Brody
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} So you finally came to us for help didn't you? Well we're gonna reprogram him like you won't believe. {not typing} To the future! {they leave}
{Cut to the Lunar Warehouse.}
UNGURAIT #1: So where's the Boss Trio?
CHORCH COMMANDER: YOU!!
UNGURAIT #1: Oh right. They're in that other universe.
CHORCH COMMANDER: Don't let them escape! {Sidekick Bob blocks the exit.} So you're here, which means we can get our revenge.
UNGURAIT #1: Wait, where's the Trickster?
CHORCH COMMANDER: He said he had something to do in the past.
UNGURAIT #1: Huh.
{Cut to the Forretress of Wiki-Tude.}
SUPER SAM: So what's the plan?
SHADOWY FIGURE: We duplicate this mind-control device to control all of mankind.
C.OLIMAR788: Sir, the Unguraits are in the future away from their house!
SHADOWY FIGURE: Cool! Let's go take over their house! Then they'll be forced to surrender.
WUSS: Yeah!
{Cut back to the Lunar Warehouse. The Unguraits are trapped in a cage.}
CHORCH COMMANDER: You came back to finish the job of destroying me, didn't you?
UNGURAIT #1: We came to reprogram Stlunko to use contractions.
CHORCH COMMANDER: Ah, yes. Stlunko can't use contractions. But there's no way you'll be able to get to Saargtsson's cave.
UNGURAIT #1: That's where they are?
CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, and you don't know where that is.
UNGURAIT #1: Sure we do. Saargtsson is our good friend.
CHORCH COMMANDER: Oh...well...you can't leave!
UNGURAIT #1: Sure we can. {activates time rings and they disappear}
CHORCH COMMANDER: NO! I had them where I wanted them!
{Cut to the Unguraits' house}
UNGURAIT #1: Now to get Kyle.
SHADOWY FIGURE: You won't be getting anyone to help you. {Pan over to see that the Shadowy Figure has Kyle tied up.} While you were gone, we have taken over your house.
UNGURAIT #1: To Saargtsson's cave! {They disappear}
KYLE: Uh, guys? Are you gonna rescue me or what?
{Cut to Saargtsson's cave}
UNGURAIT #1: Hey guys!
TAMPO: Hey! You got our email!
STLUNKO: Email?
BRODY: To reprogram you.
STLUNKO: Reprogram?
UNGURAIT #1: To use contractions.
STLUNKO: Contractions?
TAMPO, BRODY, AND THE UNGURAITS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
STLUNKO: Oh right, it is my birthday. I forgot due to the fact that our lives are in danger.
UNGURAIT #1: Yeah that Chorch Commander ruins everyone's lives. Anyway, time to reprogram!
{They open Stlunko and push a button labeled "CONTRACTIONS"}
STLUNKO: That's it?
UNGURAIT #1: Yep.
STLUNKO: Oh. That wasn't so barysuy yrbysp98rta97!.32C!@
TAMPO: You okay?
STLUNKO: KILL! KILL! KILL! MUST DESTROY!!
TAMPO: Oh crap!
{The Unguraits turn off the contractions}
STLUNKO: KILL! KILL! Kill. Kill...What happened?
SAARGTSSON: Let'sssssss just ssssay you're not ready for contractionssssssss.
STLUNKO: I went on a blood-thirsty rampage?
UNGURAIT #1: Yes. But more importantly, we need you guys to help us get our house back.
STLUNKO: Okay.
{Cut to the Unguraits' house. The Unguraits and the 4 bosses arrive.}
UNGURAIT #1: ATTACK!!
{They all start attacking with fists, lasers, and anything else.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: Can't a guy take over anything anymore? {leaves}
{Fade to black. Fade in to see WUSS in a cage, tied up. The cops are there.}
COP #1: You're going o jail for a long, long time. {leaves with the cage}
UNGURAIT #1: Thanks guys. Use these time rings to get back.
TAMPO: Thanks.
{The 4 bosses disappear.}
UNGURAIT #1: What time is it?
UNGURAIT #2: 9:41 P.M.
UNGURAIT #1: Let's go to bed.
{They go inside.}
{The Paper}
Fun Facts
- Most of this email is refering to OCE Tampo.
