Other Character Email Tampo/DVD/rock opera

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Tampo Email DVD: rock opera

Summary: Tampo makes the most awesome rock opera ever. This email takes place directly after "revolution."

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Gunhaver, Stotheb, The Poopsmith, Lunar Jesters, PrincessHomestar, Joel Dawson, Cherry Greg, Cyborg Brody, A Robot, Zyves, The Chibi (spaceship only), Kolkaryu, Protek, The Trickster, Greggos, Emperor Tampo, NEB-1, Astromunds, Saargtsson, Trevor, Chorch Commander, Liekand, The Overseer, Sidekick Bob, Jaros, Chorches, Terrells, Grundies, Stobats

Places: Private Chamber, Robot Warehouse (outside), A Field, Lunar Warehouse (outside), Trio's Lunar Bedroom, A Throneroom, Announcement Room, A Stage

Length: 224 Lines

Date: October 3rd, 2005

Transcript

{Cut to a far shot of the boss trio in their private chamber in the Lava Zone. They are watching a full-color Stinkoman Email on a red pop-up on the SaargtScreen. All you can see in the pop-up is Stinkoman on his computer.}

STINKOMAN: {from computer} I'm going to check the email today! {pause, reading} Hey Stinkoman, your email show is SO LAME!

TAMPO: I like this part...

STINKOMAN: {from computer} That brain guy's email show is much better! I bet he can whip you in a rematch. Not your pal, Trogga. {replying} Whu-hu-wah?

{Suddenly the email in the popup pauses and then closes.}

BRODY: You gotta love Stinkoman's emails.

TAMPO: Yep. Now let's see how 1-Up's doing with his emails.

STLUNKO: One 1-Up Email coming right up.

{Another pop-up appears on the SaargtScreen. All you can see on it is 1-Up at his computer.}

1-UP: {from computer, singing} I check the email all day. I check the email all night. But if you scare me then I'll get a fright. {reading} Dear 1-Up, Tampo's email show is much better than Stinkoman's! Cradgage. {replying} Well, duh. I know that Tampo's Email Show is much better than Stinkoman's. Oh, wait. You mean mine. That is totally mean. I want pudding...

{The email pauses and the popup closes.}

TAMPO: Another great non-Tampo Email.

BRODY: You know Stlunko, I think you choose these kind of emails on purpose.

STLUNKO: I might.

{Suddenly the whole scene pauses is darkens, and the following text appears on top of the screen.}

Joshua does not wish to offend the authors of
Stinkoman and 1-Up emails or call them inferior.
Please do not take offense; it is just a joke.

But Tampo does likes it when people say his emails
are better than those of his enemies.

TAMPO: Well, I like these kind of... hey! {turns around, faces camera} That stupid little CameraBot's following us!

STLUNKO: Oh. I suppose I should explain to the audience then. {goes up to camera} Tampo wanted to watch some cartoons on the SaargtScreen to get over the upsetting recent events, but the computer is incapable of doing such tasks. So I altered the time stream in such a way so that the SaargtScreen is more advanced. I plan to undo these alterations later, and it will be easy to do so. But as of right now there seems to be no negative side effects, so we can leave everything as is for now. {goes back to the SaargtScreen} Now what should we do?

BRODY: Umm... let's answer an email. Because.

TAMPO: Good idea.

STLUNKO: Okay, in this altered dimension, I should be able to use voice commands. {to SaargtScreen} Open an email for Tampo.

{Suddenly streamers fly from the Saargtscreen and fanfare plays. A black and red projection shoots out from the screen and into the air with the email on it. The surprised trio take a step back and Tampo reads the holographic email.}

Dear you mutants,
Why don't you start a rock band
and go touring all over Planet K?
Taht would certainly be fun and
rewording.

-The Space Pope

{When Tampo says "rewording" the SaargtScreen picks it up as a voice command and responds.}

SAARGTSCREEN: {robotic voice} Now rewording email.

TAMPO: What? No! That's not what I wanted!

{The email is replaced with a reworded version anyway. Tampo shakes his head and then reads it.}

Dear awexome trio,
Why don't you make a rock opera
and go showing it all over Planet K?
That would certainly be fun and
rewarding.

-The Space Poop

BRODY: A rock opera?

STLUNKO: Rock opera. Singular noun. Albums of rock music that aspired to the status of art that first appeared in the 1960s. In the early twenty-first century, its meaning was altered by Strong Bad and later adopted by other email show-ists to mean a music video where you take one word from each of your emails in sequense, often without rock music being involved.

TAMPO: Oh. So... our email show's pretty cool. Should we make one?

BRODY: Yeah, it's a great idea!

{Suddenly Strong Bad pops out from the top of the screen. He's large, making him look normal compared to the trio. The trio looks at him oddly.}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastic} Oh yeah, that's a great idea, Mr. Originality. Rip off my idea, why don't you?

{Then Homestar pops out in a similar fasion.}

HOMESTAR: And me! I did it too, y'know.

{Then Gunhaver pops up just like Homestar, and all the following characters do too.}

GUNHAVER: And me!

STOTHEB: Me too!

THE POOPSMITH: {holds up sign reading "Me, too."}

LUNAR JESTERS: Don't forget me!

PRINCESSHOMESTAR: And me!

TAMPO: {yells} OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY!!! {all the other characters retract} So it's not the most original idea ever! But ours will be different! And better! And, um... because...

STLUNKO: Because our rock opera will go through all of our first 30 emails four whole times.

TAMPO: Yeah!

STLUNKO: And our rock opera will rhyme.

TAMPO: Yeah!

STLUNKO: And our rock opera will actually make sense.

{Suddenly an unseen audience gasps.}

TAMPO: Yeah...?

BRODY: Is that even possible?

STLUNKO: I think so.

{Suddenly Joel from Bonus Stage sticks out from the right side of the screen.}

JOEL DAWSON: Rhyming and sense? Are they insane?

TAMPO: NO! {quickly shoves Joel offscreen with a crash} We will never become like the Unguraits!

BRODY: Um... Stlunko, I think you better fix the time stream. I think we're experiencing... negative side effects.

STLUNKO: Yes, I better do that.

{Stlunko leaves the scene. Tampo goes back to normal.}

TAMPO: ...and before he fixes it up, let's see if we can get this rock opera thingy going... although I don't think it's going to be "rock," exactly... who needs rock music anyway?

{Cut to the rock opera. Throughout the rock opera, a small section of the topright screen shows a snapshot of when the word was spoken. The speaker's head is temporarily shown superimposed over the scene and says the word, unless it's an unseen character speaking. Also, the text gets displayed on the bottom of the screen. Cut to a screenshot of Tampo's old robot warehouse in a large green field. Soft music plays during the first verse.}

TAMPO: Our—
CHERRY GREG: —email—
TAMPO: —thing started in—
BRODY: —a—
TAMPO: —factory, quite tough.

{Cut to a screenshot of Stinkoman hitting Tampo in a double deuce attack.}

CYBORG BRODY: With—
BRODY: —Stinkoman—
STLUNKO: —living—
ROBOT: —near,—
TAMPO: —it was hard—
ZYVES: —stuff.

{Cut to a screenshot The Chibi's spaceship crashing down upon the robot warehouse in an explosion.}

STLUNKO: And—
BRODY: —when—
TAMPO: —something destroyed—
KOLKARYU: —our—
TAMPO: —little room,

{Cut a far out view of the Lunar Warehouse.}

STLUNKO: We—
PROTEK: —located—
THE TRICKSTER: —perfectly—
STLUNKO: —to the moon.

{Cut to a screenshot of the boss trio's lunar bedroom with them in it. The tempo starts getting a little bit faster.}

BRODY: So—
TAMPO: —our new—
GREGGO: —warehouse's—
TAMPO: —very big—
BRODY: —and—
NARRATOR: —fun!

{Cut to an screenshot of the fight scene against NEB-1 in "attacked."}

TAMPO: We—
EMPEROR TAMPO: —got—
STINKOMAN: —one—
STLUNKO: —immediate—
STINKOMAN: —challenge—
TAMPO: —from NEB-1.

{Cut to a screenshot from "saargtsson" with the boss trio trapped in forcefields and Saargtsson and Zyves watching.}

TAMPO: Although—
BRODY: —our Zyves was—
TREVOR: —evil,—
STLUNKO: —and 1-Up:
CHORCH COMMANDER: —traitor!

{Cut to the boss trio sitting on three large thrones.}

BRODY: It still—
THE LIEKAND: —was—
THE TRICKSTER: —awesome—
TREVOR: —being the—
STLUNKO: —dictator.

{Cut to a screenshot of Tampo with a happy expression. The tempo rises a little faster.}

TAMPO: When—
CHERRY GREG: —it—
THE OVERSEER: —just—
TAMPO: —couldn't go bad, suddenly...

{Cut to a screenshot of the boss trio reloaded taking over Tampo's army with the HypnoSphere.}

BRODY: Those really—
TAMPO: —bad—
STINKOMAN: —guys—
STLUNKO: —activated—
BRODY: —our—
TAMPO: —weaponry.

{Cut to a snapshot of an angry Master Sticklyman with the text "0 MeritPoints" above his head. This part is sung slowly.}

1-UP: Lost—
STLUNKO: —all our—
ZYVES: —glory—
TAMPO: —from the Master,

{Cut to a snapshot of the Boss Trio Reloaded standing side by side in a blue room.}

TAMPO: To Chorch Commander, one—
GRUNDY: —named—
JARO: —Bob, and—
TREVOR: —the—
SIDEKICK BOB: —Trickster.

{New stanza. The last screenshot is simply the Tampo Email Banner.}

TAMPO: But we'll—
STLUNKO: —be—
GREGGO: —okay,—
TAMPO: —just because...

{The banner starts to flash and the music increases to a crazy pace.}

BRODY: This—
NARRATOR: —is—
STLUNKO: —Tampo Email!
STINKOMAN: This—
BRODY: —is Tampo—
TAMPO: Email, yo!

ZYVES: This is Tampo—
STRONG BAD: —Email!
TREVOR: Tampo's—
TAMPO: —Tampo Email!

STLUNKO: With—
TAMPO: —Tampo,—
NARRATOR: —Brody,—
BRODY: —and—
TAMPO: —Stlunko!

{Cut to Tampo, Brody and Stlunko on a stage. This is not a screenshot. The music stops and the unseen audience gives the trio a round of applause.}

BRODY: {on stage, not singing but still part of the rock opera} We're so cool.

{Cut back to the SaargtScreen. Tampo and Brody are here, and the holographic email is still being displayed. An unseen audience is cheering.}

TAMPO: Oh, man. That was awesome.

{Suddenly there is a flash and the time stream is corrected. The email is simply displayed on the normal SaargtScreen and the unseen audience is silenced.}

TAMPO: Aw, man. Everything's back to normal.

BRODY: Trust me, it's better like this.

{Stlunko enters the room.}

STLUNKO: Everything is fixed. And the rock opera was great.

TAMPO: Yeah... is it gone now?

STLUNKO: No, I got it saved right here.

{Stlunko goes up to the SaargtScreen and types stuff in. The onscreen email gets replaced. Tampo and Brody go up and look at it.}

TAMPO: Cool.

{Cut to a full shot of the SaargtScreen with the following text.}

C:\>rock_opera.txt

Our email thing started in a factory, quite tough.
With Stinkoman living near, it was hard stuff.
And when something destroyed our little room,
We located perfectly to the moon.

So our new warehouse's very big and fun!
We got one immediate challenge from NEB-1.
Although our Zyves was evil, and 1-Up: traitor!
It still was awesome being the dictator.

When it just couldn't go bad, suddenly...
Those really bad guys activated our weaponry.
Lost all our glory from the Master,
To Chorch Commander, one named Bob, and the Trickster.

But we'll be okay, just because...
This is Tampo Email! This is Tampo Email, yo!
This is Tampo Email! Tampo's Tampo Email!
With Tampo, Brody and Stlunko!
"We're so cool."

Easter Eggs

Pressing Rewind at the end will take to the beginning of the rock opera itself for a rewatch.

Fun Facts

The rock opera does use four 30-word stanzas which go through all 30 emails in order, four times over.
Joshua did not reword any old Tampo Emails so he could use them here.
The emails the boss trio watches are Stinkoman's "Better Email" and 1-Up's "Tampo."
The characters that pop up refer to their own email show's rock operas. Strong Bad's "rock opera," Homestar's "wock opewa," Gunhaver's "Rock opera" and "Butterfly Effect," Stotheb's "rock opera," The Poopsmith's "time travel," Lunar Jester's "rockin' opera" and PrincessHomestar's "Rock Opera."
Joel is a character from the Flash cartoon series Bonus Stage.
Tampo's remark about the Unguraits refers to Other Character Email The Unguraits, who make tons of unnessecary Bonus Stage references and character appearances.
View the context for all of the words from rock opera.