Other Character Email The Unguraits/DVD/Disc 1/Suckitude Remake

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The remake of Suckitude! This takes place in the first plotline.

Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Elly, Andrew, Evil, C.Olimar788

Transcript

UNGURAIT #1: Email Time!

Dear Ungur-people,
YOU SUCK! YOU SMELL LIKE FEET!
Uh...
YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!
-Not Strong Bad

UNGURAIT #1: {typing} You think we suck, eh? Well, we'll go to your house after we track the location of the sender - you! {not typing} Computer, locate sender! {The Steely does nothing} Oh right, it can't do that. {types "locate.exe". The Steely locates C.Olimar788.} So, it's C.Olimar788, eh? Well, we'll make him punch a cow! {Cut to Elly's ship. She's watching them.}

ELLY: So, they're going to C.Olimar788's house. I'll take advantage of this! Andrew, set course to Earth! {laughs maniacally}

ANDREW: There's no reason for you to be mad at the--

ELLY: NOW!!!

{Pan out to see the ship headed for Earth. Cut to the Unguraits' house. The ship lands there. Elly and Andrew come out.}

ELLY: Now we can take over their house, without any meddling! And when they come in to get back to their emails, ZAP! They'll be fried to a crisp! {laughs maniacally}

ANDREW: So you're basically gonna kill them.

ELLY: Don't patronize me!

ANDREW: I'm not, it's just that I was expecting more creativity than that.

ELLY: You want creativity? I'll show you creativity! {transforms into Evil}

EVIL: I'll show you all! {laughs maniacally as he/she walks away}

ANDREW: ...Okay.

{Cut to C.Olimar788's house. He is watching TV. Evil appears from behind the couch.}

EVIL: Hello.

C.OLIMAR788: AHHHHH!!! Don't scare me like that! Who are you?

EVIL: I am Evil. The Unguraits are coming to kill you due to the email you sent. But I have a plan. I'll hide behind the couch and cut them in half, possibly cutting your head off as well.

C.OLIMAR788: Cutting off my WHAT??

EVIL: Your head, but don't worry. There's only a 93% chance of that happening.

C.OLIMAR788: And the other 7%?

EVIL: I wouldn't worry about that. Just let me chop your heads off.

C.OLIMAR: WHAT?!?

EVIL: Nothing. {The Unguraits knock on the door} That's them! {hides behind the couch}

{C.Olimar788 goes to answer the door. When he opens it, he is punched to the back wall, which is through the living room into the kitchen. The Unguraits' shadow looms over him.}

UNGURAIT #1: {offscreen} So you think we suck, eh? {Pan over to the Unguraits', who look disgruntled. Evil begins to rise slowly from behind with an axe as they speak.} Well, we are going to maim you from the inside out!

EVIL: Not likely! {swings the axe as the Unguraits dodge} I decided to get you and this time, I won't miss! {He chucks the axe at them, bareley missing. Part of Ungurait #3's bandage peels off from the close shave. Evil gets the axe and looks directly at them.} I want to get rid of you, even if it means destroying the Earth in the process!

UNGURAIT #1: You don't wanna kill us. Besides, uhh...we have a security system that is tearing Andrew limb from limb as we speak.

EVIL: WHAT?!? I'm coming, Andrew! {leaves}

UNGURAIT #1: '{to C.Olimar788} Now where were we?

C.OLIMAR788: Crap.

{Cut to the Unguraits' house. Andrew is outside, unharmed.}

EVIL: I'll save you! {grabs Andrew, gets on the ship, and leaves.}

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

• This takes place in the first plotline.
• This is the second remake of Suckitude, if you count the one in Old School.