Other Character Email Gunhaver/Camping
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Summary
Gunhaver, Reinforcements, and Flashfight go to the forest and "rough it." Sounds easy, right? Right?
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Reynold, Reinforcements, Flashfight, Blue Laser, Blue Laser Robots, Carl
Lines: 71
Transcript
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types ingunhaver_email.exe.}
GUNHAVER: won em liamE! won em liamE!
{Then Gunhaver presses enter to make the following email appear on the screen.}
Dear Gunhaver,
I think you should go into the forest
and 'rough it' for a few days. It
would probably do you some good.
Only bring a tent and a little bit of
food and primitive supplies. Oh, and
don't bring anyone with you. Get away
from all your troubles!
Your concerned fan,
Josh-bub
{For Josh-bub, he says Joshua minus Bubs.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Yeah, I don't think Bubs is the coolest guy either. Anyway, you want me to "rough it" for a few days? By myself? With a tent and a little bit of food and primitive supplies? So I can get away from all my troubles? And it would do me some good? What do you think I am? An urban wimp? Of course I can "rough it!"
{Clears screen before typing.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} But, you know, roughing it, or shall I say, camping, is more fun if you bring people along. And since nobody but three people here (me, Reinforcements, and Flashfight) know about camping, only those three people can come to the roughing trip. I mean, camping... trip.
{Then we cut to a room where Gunhaver, Flashfight, and Reinforcements are getting ready for their camping trip. Reinforcements is packing his sleeping bag. Flashfight is packing his business papers, his collapsible desk, his TV, his portable generator, foodstuffs, a collapsible chair, a collapsible bed, and a microwave into his suitcase. Gunhaver is packing in his suitcase a BMW lighter, his Delta 1001, his portable stereo, a game system similar to a NES, a collapsible chair, and a collapsible bed into his suitcase. Reinforcements notices what the other two are packing.}
REINFORCEMENTS: Guys! Guys! Guys! Why are you porking all of thorse fancy storf?
GUNHAVER: What are you talking about? These stuff are primitive.
FLASHFIGHT: Preemeeteeve according to ze Cheet Commandos.
REINFORCEMENTS: But thorse ruin the pornt of cormping!
GUNHAVER: No! It's just to make camping easier and more comfortable!
FLASHFIGHT: Geeve in. Majoreety rules. Either you come weeth our stuff or you don't go.
REINFORCEMENTS: All rort.
{Then Reynold comes.}
REYNOLD: Um, Gunhaver? Flashfight? You don't bring electronics or any of that fancy...
Gunhaver and Flashfight: Shut up!
{Then we cut to a forest, where a jeep with Gunhaver, Flashfight (the driver), and Reinforcements is knocking down trees and plants while driving.}
REINFORCEMENTS: Stop knorcking down all of the trors! You'll be dorstroying wildlife!
GUNHAVER: Who cares?
REINFORCEMENTS: Everybody?
GUNHAVER: Everybody??? {laughs} More like... Reynold.
{Then we see the title card.}
Hours later after stopping at a camping site and hard work setting up the camping site
{Then we cut to Gunhaver playing a video game with the NES-style controller in front of a widescreen TV. Flashfight is doing paperwork at his desk while eating pizza. There's the tent barely noticeable by the other electronics and furniture.}
GUNHAVER: Man. This is the best camping trip I've ever been to.
FLASHFIGHT: Word. I can always get my paperwork done.
GUNHAVER: And I can check emails whenever I want.
{Then Reinforcements comes, looking manic.}
GUNHAVER: Hey Reinforcements. What's up?
REINFORCEMENTS: {manic} Morst... get rid... of... all these... fancy storf... ruining the... cormping trip.
FLASHFIGHT: What deed hee just say?
GUNHAVER: He said, "Must get rid of all these fancy stuff ruining the camping trip." But seriously, do you actually want to be uncomfortable while camping?
REINFORCEMENTS: Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket Fire!!!
Gunhaver and Flashfight: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
{Then we cut to a view of the forest. Suddenly, we see a huge explosion. Then we cut to Gunhaver (clutching his Delta 1001 in his hands), Flashfight, and Reinforcements running away from the explosion. Gunhaver trips and rolls, letting go to the Delta 1001, throwing it into a tree, denting it while giving it a crack. Anyway, the Delta 1001 is already slightly burnt from the explosion.}
GUNHAVER: NOOOOOOO!!!!
REINFORCEMENTS: Prorves you rort. Now let's camp the rorl way.
FLASHFIGHT: I'm going to hate zees.
{Then we cut to Blue Laser's HQ. Blue Laser is in an assembly room, holding a container.}
BLUE LASER: AT LAST! MY INVASION PLAN IS COMPLETE!
{Blue Laser opens the container and puts its content in a tube, which is transferred into the large number of Blue Laser Minion robots in front of Blue Laser in the assembly room.}
BLUE LASER: WITH THIS CYBER DUST GIVEN TO ME BY THIS DARK SAPPHIRE GUY, I CAN NOW ACTUALLY MAKE A ROBOT ARMY WITHOUT HAVING TO SPEND FUNDS MEANINGLESSLY TO A SCAMMER! AND NOW, MY ARMY, IT'S TIME TO CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!!!!
{Then Carl appears.}
CARL: Arrowhaver isn't done digging, sir.
BLUE LASER: THEN MAKE HIM DIG FASTER! FOR PETER FRAMPTON'S SAKE, I'M ALREADY READY TO CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!
{Then we cut to the woods, where the content Reinforcements is roasting marshmallows at the weak campfire. Flashfight is sullen and Gunhaver is even more sullen over his slightly broken Delta 1001. Then the mosquitoes come.}
GUNHAVER: {monotone} Great. Mosquitoes.
{Then the Paper comes down, saying Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on urban wimp while Gunhaver is typing to see a picture of an example of an urban wimp: Reynold.
- Click on Reinforcements' marshmallow to make the campfire suddenly burn the marshmallow before dying out.
GUNHAVER: Humph. Typical bad luck thanks to your want for a primitive camping trip.
REINFORCEMENTS: At lorst it's forn! Let's sing campfire songs!
FLASHFIGHT: I don't like you right now.
Fun Facts
- No, the Delta 1001 isn't destroyed. It'll have to be used as a slightly broken Delta 1001.
- The BMW lighter is a running gag/lighter constantly used on the Homestar Runner website.
- The part with Blue Laser just adds onto the story arc.
- The cyber dust is from Back to the Present, where it used to be a futuristic weapon given by Dark Sapphire Laser in 20X5.5.
