Other Character Email The Unguraits/Value
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits steal the plans, but WUSS sends out its ultamate weapon. Also, we're overreferancing Punching Cows, apparently.
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Shadowy Figure, WUSS, Bat in a Bucket
Transcript
UNGURAIT #1: Email's gonna kick you in the shins.
Yo Unguraits, What came first? The chicken, or the egg? 0000Unjournaits,
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} I think DELETED came first. {DELETED!}
When was the last time you actually stole something of value? -Wussywig
UNGURAIT #1: Well, Wimpytoupe, we stole money. But that won't work. People always steal that. We'll steal the Shadowy Figure's plans. Then we'll see who punches a cow.
{Cut to the lair. Super Sam is asleep in a vault. The Unguraits open it and steal the plans in the box. They close the vault. They leave. The Shadowy Figure comes in.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: I trust the plans are safe.
SUPER SAM: {mumbles} Yeah. Yeah! They're safe!
SHADOWY FIGURE: I'll be the judge of that. {opens vault} AHH! You slacker! You were asleep on the job! I'll punch your cow so hard, the rest of them will feel that punch, but we're done referancing Punching Cows. Now we need to unleash our ultamate weapon: The Bat in a Bucket!
SUPER SAM: But, sir. It's completely unstable! We haven't tested it yet!
SHADOWY FIGURE: I don't care! I just want the job done!
SUPER SAM: Ok-kay. I'll do it.
{Cut back to the Steely 801.}
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} There you go, Wig-Wash-Wendy. We stole the plans, and now you have to punch a cow. {laughs triumphantly, pan out to see the Bat in a Bucket} Who are you?
BAT IN A BUCKET: I'm the Bat in a Bucket, can't you see? Why don't you give those plans to me?
UNGURAIT #1: Oh crap! It's a Cat in the Hat parody!
BAT IN A BUCKET: You better give me those plans right now, before I treat your blood like chow.
UNGURAIT #2: An evil one.
BAT IN A BUCKET: That's right. I am an evil one. I think killing people is fun!
UNGURAIT #1: Listen you, why are you here? We have no time for you.
BAT IN A BUCKET: I was sent by the team called WUSS, so give those plans back to us.
UNGURAIT #1: What happens if we don't?
BAT IN A BUCKET: Then {eyes turn red and voice becomes possessed} PREPARE TO DIE! RED IS IN THE SKY!
UNGURAIT #1: Well, we're not ever giving you these plans. Cryptic messages in the sands! Crap! Now we're doing it!
BAT IN A BUCKET: The transformation has begun. Wait until it is all done. You will rhyme like Crackotage. Then we'll cut to a montage.
UNGURAIT #1: Stop it! Stop it! Can't you see? This rhyming is annoying me!
BAT IN A BUCKET: Just give me those plans sometime today and all these bad things will go away.
UNGURAIT #1: We will never give you these plans! Not as long as they're in our hands!
BAT IN A BUCKET: You can't deny it. It's all true. We have finally beaten you.
UNGURAIT #1: We won't give in. We have pride! Hurry up and go outside!
BAT IN A BUCKET: I'll turn this house into my own! Acustomed to this place, I've grown. Time to transform this place like mine. If I had one all the time. I'm usually inside a cage. I can be a little sane. They created me as a weapon. It is never ever fun. {transforms the house} Thise is now all my place. It is all my own space. Time to go get my mace.
UNGURAIT #1: Kyle! Hurry! Get in here! This emergency is very severe! {Kyle comes in}
KYLE: What's wrong?
UNGURAIT #1: A Bat in a Bucket just came here, now were rhyming like rapping very severe!
KYLE: That's horrible! Should I call the Justice League?
UNGURAIT #1: That won't work. Wait. We didn't rhyme! I think it's just about time! Wait we're still rhyming. It's not just about timing.
KYLE: Are you even trying?
UNGURAIT #1: Help. We can't even take this stand. We can't even see our hands.
KYLE: You're not trying.
UNGURAIT #1: No. So?
KYLE: So, let's break this curse! I'll search the InstaNet. Here it is!
---THE RHYME CURSE--- This is a curse only inflicted by a Cat in the Hat parody. It can be broken only if said parody ceases to rhyme. It is possible. It's hard, though.
KYLE: We have to stop the Bat in a Bucket's rhyming!
BAT IN A BUCKET: I'm back now. All is good. I am number one in the hood.
KYLE: Hey, Batty.
BAT IN A BUCKET: What do you want my good robot? Alot of time, I haven't got.
KYLE: You're a worthless weapon that can't do anything! You're no good for anything but rhyming! You're worthless! {laughs mockingly}
BAT IN A BUCKET: Stop! You worthless robot! Prepare to die! Oops.
UNGURAIT #1: Oops is right, Rhyme-O. Now the curse is broken!
BAT IN A BUCKET: NO! You can't do this! I'm the ultamate weapon! I'm the Bat in a Bucket!
UNGURAIT #1: Not anymore! {Attacks Bat in a Bucket. They throw him out the window. Everything turns back to normal.} Now to read those plans. Wait a minute...these are the same plans that Conchris guy sent us! We know these already! Kyle take these and shred them. {Kyle leaves with them.} That sucked.
{The Paper}
Fun Facts
- The Cat in the Hat is a cat from Dr. Suess.
- You should know where Punching Cows is from by now.
- You know what the Justice League is.
- The bad rhymes and Kyle's question is from Commandos in the Classroom.
- "Cryptic messages in the sand" is from An Ice Machine's Stinkomanual entry.
- The Plans are in this email.
