Other Character Email 1-Up/chibilichicommandos6

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1-UP EMAIL 112!

1-Up and Stinkoman gets zapped to 40X6 once again and meets the Negative Commandos and their leader, Red laser who are just regaining peace after destroying the Ultramarine project created by Dark Sapphire Laser in an attempt to destroy the Chibilichi Commandos in the pre-30X2 era.

Cast (in order of appereance): Red Laser, Positive Laser Master, Positive Laser Unit, 1-Up, Sir Gunsman, The Computer Geek, Cracker, The Quiet One, Crontes Sevorn

Transcript

{Cuts to a spaacecraft, flying through space. The camera zooms in on one of the ship's window's to view a 40X6 Gunhaver talking to a floating computer}

RED LASER: Captain's log. 21st of April, 40X6. 4:30 pm. We have finnaly regained peace after the 150 year war between the Negative Laser and the Positive Laser. After destroying Positive Laser, we returned to the star-ship, in hope that we'd never have to fight them again. We are finnaly at peace.

{The camera zooms up really close to Red Laser's sunglasses}

RED LASER: But, how long will it last?

{The camera zooms out to view the space ship again}

RED LASER: This is Red Laser, signing off.

{Cuts to a broken headqaurters on the moon of Planet K in 40X6}

POSITIVE LASER MASTER: Arg! Those stupid Nega Commandos! Why can't we take over the world and make it a better place, in peace?!

{A small robot walks onscreen wearing a Positive Laser uniform}

POSITIVE LASER UNIT: {metallic voice} Sir, we have scanned the area and it appears that the Negative Commandos are in sector 4 of Planet L.

POSITIVE LASER MASTER: PLANET L?!

POSITIVE LASER UNIT: Yes, an exact copy of Planet K. It was the one true place where a red robot with blue hair fought.

POSITIVE LASER MASTER: Hmm, get one of the ships that haven't been damaged and take the remaining robot units there to destroy them!

POSITIVE LASER UNIT: Also, I saved on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

POSITIVE LASER MASTER: Fantastic!

{Fade to black. Cuts to 1-Up on his stool, checking emails}

1-UP: {singing} I'm going to check my email, woah-oh-oh! I'm going to check my email, woah-oh-oh!

{The email pops up onscreen and 1-Up starts to read it}

Dear One-Up,
If you were in a fight with Crontes Sevorn, who
would win, you or him? Also, Tempo's better than
you ever will be!! And I could beat you anytime!
The only guy who make sense at the time,
-Crabjake

{1-Up reads the email and then starts to type his reply}

1-UP: {typing} If I fought Cronto Magombo, I'd probably win. As for Tempo, who is he? Why do you always talk about a guy callled "Tempo"? I mean, there's a "Tampo", and a "Temprature". But, there is nobody called Tempo. You never make any sense. Neither do your relatives.

{1-Up clears the screen and starts typing again}

1-UP: {typing} But, to really know how a fight with him would go, you'd need a time travel device. That's right, kids. I'm using...

{A title screen appears on the Lappotron's screen saying "1-Up's Time Travel Program - Version 8.5" with a pixel picture of 1-Up's face on the right}

1-UP: MY NEW TIME TRAVEL PROGRAM!

{1-Up clicks the "New Time" option and then types in "1939" into the tiny box that appears. 1-Up then dissapears in a large white flash, unlike any other. Two flame travels are left behind as 1-Up dissapears. Cuts to 1-Up in a black and white field in 1939}

1-UP: Okay. So, at the same time as getting the Talismans I can obey the email that was sent to me, by fighting a Cheat Commando's relative. So, according to the timeline, I don't gain hold of the talismans until I get them from each of their holders, so where can I find the star power talisman in 1939?

{Old-Timey Homestar Runner walks in, holding a talisman in his right hand. The right arm and left arm are invisible to the viewers}

OLD-TIMEY HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's a nice mornin' today, ain't it? Do you know where the market is? I need to buy me-self some bread.

1-UP: Shut up, stupid relative with a weird talisman! I'm wondering where I can find a talisman that belonged to Homestar Runner in 1939!

OLD-TIMEY HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, if you say so.

{Old-Timey Homestar Runner leaves}

1-UP: {short pause} Wait a minute. That was the talisman I was looking for.

{1-Up starts running and the camera follows him, when suddenly, he trips and bumps into Red Laser, standing and reading the newspaper}

RED LASER: Hey, watch it! I'm looking for a full-time gun in the year 1939! {short pause} Do you know where I can find one?

1-UP: You look like Gunhaver.

RED LASER: And you look like King 1-Up from my time.

1-UP: Oh, I'm his past self from 40X6.

RED LASER: Woah. What are you doing here?

1-UP: I time travelled here in hopes of being able to fight some Cronto-Magambo guy, and to get the talismans of power before I destroyed them in the early parts of 20X6.

RED LASER: The talismans? That's better then a full-time gun. I could use that them to power up our laser and destroy the positives.

1-UP: Positives?

RED LASER: Yeah. I'm a negative. That's what we call cheats in 40X6.

1-UP: So, if the Cheat Commandos become bad guys in 40X6, what happns to Blue Laser.

RED LASER: The Positive Laser, who are always trying to make the world a better place.

1-UP: Why do you do bad stuff?

RED LASER: Because, I was sent by King 1-Up in hopes to destroy Ultramine Laser, but as time changed, they became good. And it's the law of balanace, that if they become good, I become bad.

1-UP: That makes no sense.

RED LASER: {short pause} Umm, anyway, I'll make a deal with you. If you can go steal a full-time gun off Crontes Sevorn, then I'll find the talismans of power for you, as long as I can use 'em to power the full-time gun and our laser. Then, I'll give them back to you for you're desires.

1-UP: I don't know. You get two things and i only get one out of this deal.

RED LASER: How about I give you pudding?

1-UP: I have a life-time supply of pudding. I don't need anymore then a life-time.

{Red Laser gets out a gun and points it at 1-Up's neck}

RED LASER: {shouts} DO IT OR DIE!

1-UP: {scared} Y-y-yes, s-sir.

{1-Up runs offscreen, while Red Laser puts his gun away}

RED LASER: Time to look for those talismans, starting with Sickly Sam.

{Red Laser takes a photo of Sickly Sam out of his pocket and walks offscreen. Fade to black. Cut to 1-Up standing in front of a big play house}

1-UP: umm, maybe I'm at the wrong house.

{Sir Gunsman walks out the front door of the play house}

SIR GUNSMAN: So, now we must stop the "laser that is blue for some reason" because they are shooting a laser at the moon, which is appaerently blue.

{The Computer Geek walks out the front door, following Gunhaver along with Cracker and The Quiet One}

THE COMPUTER GEEK: Sir, just so you know the "laser that is blue for some reason" has changed their name to "Hueyed Ray".

SIR GUNSMAN: {sighs} Why does everybody change their name these days.

{The group of sneaks notice 1-Up}

SIR GUNSMAN: Who are you supposed to be? Some alien from the future.

1-UP: Well, I am from the future, but I'm not an alie-

CRACKER: {laughs} Kid, he was joking. But, seriously, who are you?

1-UP: Oh. {short pause} Well, umm, do you know where I can find Crontes Sevorn?

SIR GUNSMAN: Oh, he's over there.

1-UP: {thinks to self} Seeing as Contestro only became good in 2006, it only effects 20X6 and not 1939, so of course he's still evil and not with the commandos.

{1-Up lifts his hat in an old fashioned "thank you" style and leaves}

CRACKER: That guy was weird.

{Cut to Crontes Sevorn in the field. 1-Up walks onscreen and looks down at the small sneak with sunglasses, carrying a sackk with a dollar sign on it}

1-UP: Woah. A "the sneak" with sunglasses. You know, you don't see many sneaks in 20X6. In fact, they became endangered in the early 21st century because-

CRONTES SEVORN: Hey?! Is this story going anywhere?! Cause' I'm on a run from de cops, yo!

{Crontes Sevorn runs offscreen}

1-UP: If that was Crontes Sevorn, then I'm- Wait a minute!

{The camera zooms out to show Crontes Sevorn stopping in his tracks}

1-UP: {shouting from behind Crontes Sevorn} Hey, Crontes! I challenge you to a fight!

CRONTES SEVORN: You mean, a little challenge and fighting? {turns to 1-Up}

{Crontes Sevorn drops the money sack}

1-UP: Exactly.

CRONTES SEVORN: Okay, let's see what you got.

{Crontes Sevorn stands up on two feet and gets out a gun from the money sack he was holding}

1-UP: {scared} Umm, this is going to be harder then I thought.

CRONTES SEVORN: This is my full-time gun. It's pretty illegal, and they're planning on banning them, sometime in the next century. I decided to steal one and hide it, so that one of my relatives can use it.

1-UP: That looks pretty powerful.

{1-Up jumps over Crontes Sevorn, but while above him, the frame freezes and the camera moves arround 1-Up in a Matrix-style. After it's moved around once, the camera unfreezes and 1-Up lands on the ground behind Sevorn. Then, 1-Up spin-kicks Crontes Sevorn in the back, making him fall to the ground and drop his full-time gun}

1-UP: Now's my chance.

{1-Up grabs the gun laying next to Crontes Sevorn, and runs offscreen. Cut to 1-Up and Red Laser standing in front of a portal, somewhere in the 1939 field, along with the talismans and the full-time gun}

RED LASER: Excellent. I'll be able to go back to my time. But, you'll have to come with me, seeing as I have questions and you have questions.

1-UP: It's a good idea, but where are we going to find a portal?

{Short pause}

RED LASER: {points to portal, angrily} IT'S RIGHT THERE!

1-UP: {excited} Yay! Floating pudding!

{1-Up jumps into the the portal, and then dissapears}

RED LASER: 1-Up, no!

{Red Laser jumps in, just as the portal closes. Fade to black. The Paper comes down}

Fun Facts

Trivia

Full-time guns are a reference to my noobish days, when I sent OCE Strong Bad an email that made no sense.
This is the first appearance of the full-time gun in 1-Up emails, which is now going to be a 1-Up email running gag.
Crontes Sevorn is the 1939 form of Contestro, which references Mr. Cradgage and OCE Gunhaver.
This is my idea of 40X6 Cheat Commandos and have no effect on the OCE Gunhaver storyline.

Other Character Email 1-Up/chibilichicommandos6

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