Other Character Email Gunhaver/Ripberger
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Summary
Gunhaver answers an email on his fixed Orange 02, thanks to Crackotage, but it malfunctions sometime. He reveals the history of when Gunhaver met Ripberger.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Reynold, Ripberger
Lines: 52
Transcript
{Gunhaver is sitting in front of his Orange 02, which has a few cracks, duct tape, and the words Orange 02 were poorly written by Crackotage. He types in run "gunhaver_email".}
Gunhaver: Ah, the Orange is back and kicking, well, not as well as it did before that incident. Anyway, here is the email.
{The following email pops up on the screen and Gunhaver reads it.}
Dear Mssr. Eleganté,
You left your pocketwatch in the hot tub. When will you be back to retrieve it?
-128 Hot Katies
{While reading it, Gunhaver reads Mssr. Elegante as "Messer Elegaint", and reads -128 Hot Katies as "Negative 128 Hot Katies. Ouch!"}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Well, Negative 128 Hot Katies, I'm sorry to hear of your unfortunate, er... Wait, I'm not Messer Elegaint! In fact, I have a good idea to delete this email right now! Especially this is to the wrong person and wrong nationality! I'm American, maybe perhaps Texan, but not French! There are no French in the Cheat Commandos, except for Flashfight... All right, I'll send this to Flashfight.
{Gunhaver types "forward to Flashfight". Suddenly, the Orange deleted the email.}
GUNHAVER: What??? Oh, must be malfunctions, thanks to Crackotage. Let's go to the next email.
{The following email pops up on the screen as Gunhaver reads it.}
Dear Gunhaver,
So, what exactly does Ripberger do? I mean, what's with his dress
and Japanese?
Sincerely,
George
GUNHAVER: Now THAT'S a good question. Ripberger is a spy who doesn't like to socialize or have his face or pajamas, I mean clothes, ruined by the camera, and such and such. And I think his dress is made from wormy silk. As for Japanese, don't worry, there's nothing to hear from Ripberger. But, I do know some Japanese myself, like, uh, konichiwa, sayonara, saki, and, uh, ni hao? Well, Ripberger didn't always speak Japanese. In fact, he spoke English fluently when I first met him. Uh-oh, here is another flashback of my life.
{Cut to a grassy plain with Gunhaver and Reynold walking around.}
GUNHAVER: {voiceover} It was when Reynold and I were lost in a grassy plain.
REYNOLD: Are we there yet?
GUNHAVER: No, and I will make sure you will never be there if you don't shut up!
{Suddenly, the two come across Ripberger.}
GUNHAVER: Let's ask directions.
REYNOLD: No way! I don't trust him!
GUNHAVER: Well, I do. {turns to Ripberger} I have a question to ask you.
RIPBERGER: Does it have to do with the way I am dressed?
GUNHAVER: No. Why are you dressed like that?
RIPBERGER: How dare you ask me that?
{Ripberger jumps into the air and gets into an attacking position, taking out a sword used by Japanese samurais.}
REYNOLD: Gunhaver, come on! Let's find a way out so we can go back to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset!
RIPBERGER: (still in his attack position) WHAT??? Cheat Commandos?
{Ripberger drops his sword onto the ground, falls to the ground, hitting his head. Then he wakes up.}
RIPBERGER: (speaking Spanish) Of course! I know this area! Let me take you to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset if you let me join the Cheat Commandos!
GUNHAVER: Uh, I don't know what any of that meant, so I'm going to punch him.
{Gunhaver punches Ripberger, knocking him unconscious.}
{Cut back to the computer room with Gunhaver in front of his patched-up computer.}
GUNHAVER: So after we found out that we were actually in the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset's backyard (the lawn hasn't been mowed for like, 20 years), we woke up Ripberger, who spoke Japanese, and nobody liked him, maybe except for Firebert.
{The Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on friends in the end to see this:
{Cut to a room in the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset with Ripberger walking around with his sword. Reynold walks in.}
RIPBERGER: (speaking Japanese) Excuse me, Reynold, do you know where the bathroom is?
REYNOLD: (holds his hands up in the air) PLEASE! DON'T SLICE ME INTO PIECES!
{Reynold runs away, screaming in terror.}
Fun Facts
- The Orange 02 being patched-up but working (and malfunctioning) is a reference to the Tandy 500 being patched-up but working (and malfunctioning).
- The first email from -128 Hot Katies is from the Strong Bad email dreamail.
- The computer deleting the email without Gunhaver actually deleting it is a reference to the Strong Bad email sisters.
- Konichiwa and sayonara are Japanese for hello and bye, respectively. I don't know if saki is Japanese. Ni hao is Chinese for hello.
- Saying Ripberger doesn't wear pajamas is a reference to Cheat Commandos Commercial.
- The conversation Gunhaver and Ripberger had before Ripberger got into attack position is based on a show named Futurama, where the main character asks a one-eyed girl something about her eye when he just said his question is not about her eye.
- Firebert liking Ripberger is based on Magic, where Firebert had lunch with Ripberger.
