Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Skydiving
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
{Cut to Airstar in a robe, eating Ice Cream in his TV room watching TV with the lights turned off.}
OFFICER 1:{Offscreen, from TV)We're lookin' at about 1 ounce.
OFFICER 2:{From Walkie Talkie}Officer Cherty, we are pursuing Osama Bin Laden he's in a Black Lexus, and he's driving down 56th street.
OFFICER CHERTY:Officer Clanton, i'm dealing with something. Geez. That guy makes mountains out of molehills.
OFFICER CLANTON:{Still from walkie talkie.} But sir, we're chasing a highly wanted terrorist and you're focusing on a minor bust! You gotta help us!
OFFICER CHERTY:You'll do fine.
OFFICER CLANTON:We just lost him. Thanks alot.
OFFICER CHERTY:No problem.
ANOUNCER:COPS. When you do the crime, you do the time. And sometimes, if you don't do the crime, you still do the time.
AIRSTAR:Yes! The system fails again!
{Schoolstar walks in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Uhh..hey buddy.
AIRSTAR:Hey...I miss the Skypy.
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, uhh...the ClodSon 583 is here.
AIRSTAR:Really?! YES! I'll go check an email right now!
{He speeds out of the room. Cut to Kyle Westwood the delivery guy standing there with a package. Airstar runs up to him.}
AIRSTAR:My CloudSon is here!
KYLE WESTWOOD:Sign here.
{Airstar signs a clipboard, and Kyle hands it to him. Kyle leaves, and Airstar rips open the box to see a navy blue flatscreen with the CloudSon logo at the bottom left corner.}
AIRSTAR:It's so perfect.
{The camera closes up on his face.}
AIRSTAR:I'm back, baby.
{Zoom out. He takes off the robe and throws away the ice cream.}
AIRSTAR:Whooo!
{He puts the CloudSon down on the table, and clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Airstar and the CloudSon, there's no seperatin' them.
divingAirstar,
Ethan
Im sorry about the death of the skypy. So I've signed you up for somepush you out of a planeskydiving lessons to get your mind off it. Hope you enjoy!
Your skydiving teacher,
AIRSTAR:Well...it does still hurt. So sure, Ethan. I'll do your Sky diving lessons. But wouldn't it be much more enjoyable if the Sky Diving was in...SPACE??
{Cut to Airstar without a spacesuit on jumping out of a spaceship with a parachute on his back.}
AIRSTAR:WOOOOO!!! {His skin starts melting off.} AHHHHH!!!! THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!!!!! {He becomes just a skeleton and lands on Mars. Nebulon peaks out of a nearby crater. Cut back to Airstar at the CloudSon.}
AIRSTAR:Okay...maybe not. That would be extremely dangerous. And Sky Diving will be slightly less dangerous. There's three scenarios of what could happen. Scenario number single.
{Cut to Airstar with a parachute on his back, lookin' out of a door on an airplane, talking to Ethan, a normal human looking guy with black hair.}
AIRSTAR:WELL ETHAN, HERE I GO!
{He jumps off and falls and falls until he impales his head on The Stick.}
AIRSTAR:OWW! I though this sky diving would take away the pain. But it added to it.
AIRSTAR:{Narrarator} And then there's scenario number double. The thin is...this scenario's been 4Wimp'd slightly.
{Cut to Airstar jumping out of the plane, as he lands into a hole at a golf course. Early 80's Rodney Dangerfield is standing to his right with a buncha people watching.}
RODNEY DANGERFIELD:Hey everybody! We're all gonna get paid!
{Everyone starts cheering. Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:4Wimp'd. Oh well. Then scenario triple is this.
{Cut to Airstar jumping out of the plane, and pulling his parachute, and landing safely on the ground. The Strong Bad walks up to him.}
STRONG BAD:You are the coolest. Airstar Leo Flyer is the cool-est.
{Marzipan walks up to him.}
MARZIPAN:I love you, Airstar Leo Flyer. I. Love. You. Very much.
{Cut back to Airstar at the Cloudson.}
AIRSTAR:And I think we all know which is more likely to happen. Well Cloudy, you're doin' pretty good so far.
STRONG SAD:Uh..excuse me?
{Zoom out. Airstar turns to Strong Sad.}
AIRSTAR:What is it, nerd?
STRONG SAD:In email 28, you ran for the Kingular Election, correct?
AIRSTAR:Yeah.
STRONG SAD:Yes, and you skipped to September 2009, correct?
AIRSTAR:Correct.
STRONG SAD:Yet you answered the question on The Skypy in September of 2009, 15 months after it died.
AIRSTAR:Yes. You're point?
STRONG SAD:Well, how is that possible?
AIRSTAR:Well, the short answer is, "Who gives a crap", and the long answer is, "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!".
{Pause.}
STRONG SAD:O-okay.
AIRSTAR:Thank you. Now leave.
STRONG SAD:That I will do.
{He leaves. Airstar turns back to th Cloudy.}
AIRSTAR:Anyway, Cloudy. Keep up the good work. Now back to the crux of the matter, yes Ethan, I will go to your sky diving class. After I do a few things.
{Airstar gets off the computer. Cut to Airstar talking to Bubs at his Stand. Airstar is disguised as The King Of Town.}
AIRSTAR:{Deeper voice.} So Bubs, I want life insurance. Please.
BUBS:Alright, King Caveat. {He takes out a pecie of paper.} I assume you want it under your name?
AIRSTAR:Uh..no. This is for another guy. His first name is Ai.
BUBS:{Writing} Ai...
AIRSTAR:Middle name Rs.
BUBS:{Writing} Rs...
AIRSTAR:Last name Tar.
BUBS:Tar...thank you! I wish Mr. Ai R. Tar the best of luck!
AIRSTAR:Oh, and he's a pilot, so put Flyer after Tar.
{Bubs writes that down.}
BUBS:There we go!
AIRSTAR:Tha-
BUBS:Wait a minute!
{Airstar looks nervous. Pause.}
BUBS:My nickname is Flyer! Remember when I could fly?
AIRSTAR:Right, right. Just...keep it there. I mean, you can't fly anymore. Heh heh.
BUBS:Fine. 6000 dollars please.
AIRSTAR:6000 DOLLARS?!
BUBS:Pay it or lose it.
AIRSTAR:Fine. I'll pay it.
{He writes a check and throws it at him. Cut to Airstar sitting on his bed with a camera in front of him. Cut to that camera's view. The REC. thin is in the top right corner and the date, 6/23/08 is in the bottom left corner.}
AIRSTAR:Hey, guys. This is my will video just in case something bad happens to me during my Sky Dive, or anything else kills me. If I die, The Chuck, you get my Cloudson, or whatever computer I have at the time of my death. And if my death is 16-93 years from now, then you two don't be walkin' in the dangerous parts of the neighborhood, stay away from cliffs, and don't go vacationin' with your friends on Mars. Last thing I need is my relative and my pet being eaten by a giant space slug, you know what i'm sayin'? Anyway, The Chuck, you also get the blimp. Unless I have a son, then he gets it. Schoolstar, you get my record collection. Homsar44withpie can have my closet, and my hair braider. Homestar can have my sports equipment. And everything else goes to either my son, or The Chuck. I'm Airstar Flyer, and that's my will, and i'm stickin' to it.
{He turns off the camera. Cut back to regular view.}
AIRSTAR:Well, here goes nothin'.
{Cut to Airstar talking to Ethan on the plane. Airstar is in full sky diving body suit. So is Ethan.}
ETHAN:MAKE SURE YOU RELEASE THE 'CHUTE WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT FIFTY FEET FROM THE GROUND!
AIRSTAR:FIVE FEET, GOT IT!
ETHAN:OKAY, GO!
{Airstar jumps off.}
AIRSTAR:WOW! THIS IS GREAT! I FEEL LIKE THAT CHICK FROM TITANIC WHEN SHE WAS LIFTED BY THAT GUY WITH THE AWESOME HAIRCUT! OH, FIVE FEET!
{He falls into Bubs' Stand, breaking the bricks, and his parachute releases. He gets up, his face bloody and his body suit torn slightly.}
AIRSTAR:...{Nervously.} Hi, Bubs.
BUBS:The stealing, the waffle incident, and now this?! Now I have even more reason to hate you.
{Close up on Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:HERE WE GO AGAIN!
{Credits roll by fastly while Benny Hill music plays.}
Airstar Flyer- Airstar Flyer
The Chuck- The Chuck
Schoolstar Squiggle- Schoolstar Squiggle
Officer Cherty- Jom Hanks
Officer Clanton- Ron Paulwieser
Kyle Westwood- Sean Byrne
Ethan- Zach Braff
Al Czervick- Rodney Dangerfield
Strong Bad- Strong Bad
Marzipan- Julia Roberts
Strong Sad- Strong Sad
King Of Town- Airstar Flyer
Bubs- John Sanford
WRITERS
Sean Byrne
Esna Rybne
The Ninja
William Stinkwater (Editor)
CAMERAMEN
Who cares?
{The paper comes down.}
