Resident Daisy/5

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Summary

Homestar keeps his word. Coach Z's life is threatened once again. So is Daisy's.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Birds, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Coach Z, Daisy, Bubs, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Dr. Liidburg Jr., Dr. Myer

Transcript

{Cut to Marzipan standing in The Field with Carol. In front of her are some birds. Next to Marzipan is a sign saying, "CONCERT FOR BIRDS - DON'T FORGET TO DONATE YOUR TWIGS!" On the other side of Marzipan is a pile of twigs.}

MARZIPAN: So birds, I'd like you happily thank you for your twig donations. The twigs will be made to make a nest for the poor orphan birds, so you are helping the new generation.

{The birds in front of Marzipan chirp in agreement.}

MARZIPAN: And so, it's now time for Carol and I to sing a song. Sing along with me!

{Marzipan begins to play a tune with Carol.}

MARZIPAN: {singing} Tweet, tweet, tweet, isn't life so sweet? Tweet, tweet, tweet, would you like a beet? Tweet, tweet, tweet, when shall we meet? Tweet, tweet, tweet, when you move your feet! Everybody, sing along!

{The birds begin to chirp to Marzipan's song. However, flowers thrown from behind Marzipan land in front of the birds. The birds look in front of them and quickly fly away in the opposite direction, confusing Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Hey wait! Come back! Were my lyrics that bad?

{More flowers are thrown from behind Marzipan. Marzipan looks at the flowers.}

MARZIPAN: What the... who's abusing the pretty flowers like this?

{Marzipan turns around and looks shocked.}

MARZIPAN: Oh my...

{Homestar, holding a basket of flowers, skips onscreen. Homestar is wearing a pink dress, a blonde wig with two pink bows, and mascara. A propeller is sticking out of his wig.}

HOMESTAR: {in high voice} Why, hello broomstick lady. What a pleasant day for hidin- I mean, skipping!

MARZIPAN: Homestar, why on Earth are you dressed up as a girl?

HOMESTAR: {aggresively} Who's this Homestar you're speaking of? I'm not Homestar! Homestar's a dumb name! Homestar sounds like a dumb name of a dumb guy! My name's Homestarina!

MARZIPAN: Really, Homestar...

HOMESTAR: Homestarina! I don't want people to know that I killed Strong B- I mean... I'm not that dumb Homestar. What's his problem?

MARZIPAN: Look, insulting yourself won't disguise you, so quit it.

HOMESTAR: This is so not a disguise! It's called dressing up to be pretty! I mean, I have makeup on!

MARZIPAN: Seriously, why are you doing this? Did Strong Bad pay you to dress up as a girl?

HOMESTAR: {normal} No. Strong Bad just dressed up as a girl yesterday, so I decided to do the same thing!

MARZIPAN: Homestar, how many times do I have to tell you that Strong Bad is no- Wait, did you say Strong Bad was dressed up as a girl?

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Yeah! What gives?

{Strong Bad, not dressed up as a girl, walks onscreen.}

STRONG BAD: What's this about me dressing up as a girl? And what's {referring to Homestar} his deal?

HOMESTAR: Strong Bad! What happened to your dress? That purple wig made you look pretty!

STRONG BAD: Well, I guess that purple wi- Hey, what are you talking about? I never wore a dress in my entire lifetime!

MARZIPAN: Hold on? Purple wig? Homestar, are you talking about that Daisy from yesterday?

STRONG BAD: Daisy?!? You mean she's real?????

MARZIPAN: {raises eyebrow} You know her?

STRONG BAD: I thought she was some kinda robot that tried to hack into my computer!

MARZIPAN: Well, that's possible.

HOMESTAR: Hello? Are you ignoring me and my {higher voice} pretty face?

{Strong Bad knocks Homestar onto the ground.}

STRONG BAD: Well, if Daisy is real, then that idiot must've walked herself off a cliff by now, for she's a complete idiot! And that's with Homestar in mind! {turns around} Now, I'm going to Bubs' and try not to see you two weirdos again this week!

{Strong Bad walks away. Marzipan looks at Homestar.}

MARZIPAN: Homestar, just where did you get that mascara?

HOMESTAR: Coach Z.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is absent, but the box of horse heads is still on the counter. Strong Bad walks to the counter.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs! Get me a red one, wi- Bubs? Where the crap are you? {looks at the box} Horse heads?

{Strong Bad stands on his tippy-toes and looks into the box.}

STRONG BAD: Hey. They look pretty cool. Wish I could see some more brains com-

COACH Z: {off-screen; screaming} Oh nores! Please! Stop!!!!

DAISY: {off-screen; screaming} Oh nores! Please! Stop!!!!

{Cut to Coach Z being chased by Daisy. Daisy, who is running quickly, occasionally manages to catch up to Coach Z and pat his butt.}

COACH Z: Patting old men's butts isn't funny!

DAISY: Uh... what about my house. Lovely, isn't funny!

{The camera follows Coach Z and Daisy as they continue to run down The Field. The camera stops following them when Bubs and Pom Pom (with a video camera) are seen looking at Coach Z and Daisy. Soon, Coach Z and Daisy are seen running in the opposite direction. Pom Pom is shooting the chase with his video camera.}

BUBS: Excellent, Pom Pom! Your video camera skills never fail me!

{Coach Z and Daisy are seen running in the opposite direction again. Strong Bad walks onscreen.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs. What's with your abandoning your stand? I raided it to the extreme!

BUBS: Not now, later. Can't you see I'm directing what will be my award-winning movie:...

{Coach Z and Daisy run in the opposite direction.}

BUBS: ...Coach Z Gets His Butt Slapped Back At Him.

STRONG BAD: That title sucks, but...

{Strong Bad looks at Coach Z and Daisy running across the field, with Daisy occasionally patting Coach Z's butt.}

COACH Z: How can you run forster than me? I'm a coach!

DAISY: {patting Coach Z's butt} Oh, you want to refill my house. Lovely, isn't funny!

{Zoom in on Strong Bad's eye.}

STRONG BAD: Saying stupid crap that doesn't fit the situation... purple hair... crazy girl...

{Cut back to the view with Strong Bad, Bubs, and Pom Pom.}

STRONG BAD: So that's Daisy... so she's not a hot girl after all...

BUBS: Hey, shut up! I don't want to edit your voice out!

STRONG BAD: What? What's so bad about my voice? My voice is beautiful!

BUBS: {pointing to the left} Hey! Look!

{Pom Pom directs the video camera to the left. Pan left to show Daisy panting, having great difficulty running. Cut to Coach Z, who (from the right) nearly runs into a pile of Whatsit. He looks behind him and wipes the sweat off of his face.}

COACH Z: {relieved} Well, good to see she's not going to slap my butt anymore!

{Coach Z pants.}

COACH Z: Yeah! That's whort you get for messin' with Coach Z! The man to be!

BUBS: {off-screen} Coach Z, you better shut up! You're going to drive the ratings away!

{Suddenly, Daisy, who has managed to get a spurt of energy, runs into Coach Z. The scene freezes. Then it continues in greyscale and in slow motion as Coach Z is sent flying from the impact into the pile of whatsit, headfirst. The scene continues in full color and in normal speed as Daisy stops running in front of the pile of Whatsit. What's seen of Coach Z begins to twitch.}

DAISY: Oh, you think I should just killed Coach Z!

{Cut to Bubs, Pom Pom, and Strong Bad. The mournful Pom Pom bows his head.}

BUBS: {shaking head} Oh man... That has got to be... {cheerful} the best thing that can be captured on camera! Did you catch that, Pom Pom?

STRONG BAD: Hey look. The Crapsmith's coming.

{Cut to The Poopsmith walking to the pile of Whatsit. He looks at Daisy before seeing Coach Z's body in the pile.}

DAISY: How can you just pass out? Holy grief pants! I just killed Coach Z!

{Poopsmith makes a reassuring guesture and walks to Coach Z's body. He pulls the unconscious Coach Z out of the pile and grabs his head. Cut back to Bubs, Pom Pom, and Strong Bad. They all look shocked.}

STRONG BAD: Is The Poopsmith about to do mouth-to-mouth?!?

BUBS: Uh-oh. This can't be good for the viewers. Pom Pom, you sure that's not a stuntman?

POM POM: {bubbles furiously}

BUBS: Okay. Give me your bat!

{Pom Pom's body releases a baseball bat, which he catches in the air. Pom Pom gives it to Bubs, who runs off-screen, screaming with the bat.}

STRONG BAD: How'd that fit inside your body?

POM POM: {bubbles casually}

{Whacks are heard off-screen. Strong Bad seems to be enjoying the scene.}

BUBS: {off-screen} Taking pain without screaming is going to cost you $40 for each whack, so don't scream!

DAISY: {off-screen} That's right. Get to know each other!

STRONG BAD: Well, the fun part's done. I've got to go continue raiding Bubs' stand before he comes here. He might infect us with the chemicals from contact with the Crapsmith.

{Just then, Homestar, still dressed up as a girl, is seen skipping in the background, throwing flowers into the air. Strong Bad and Pom Pom look at him.}

POM POM: {bubbles}

STRONG BAD: D-don't ask...

{Cut to Dr. Liidburg Jr. (in 31X7) looking at a hologram of a panting Daisy in front of the pile of Whatsit. Statistics concerning Daisy are shown from a separate hologram projector. Dr. Myer is beside him.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Hmm... it looks like Daisy is in serious need for food... Otherwise, she'll die.

DR. MYER: {sarcastic} How wise of you to send a life form to a hostile land without teaching the being how to eat.

{Dr. Liidburg Jr. closes his eyes.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Must not kill... killing is bad... jail is bad... killing is bad for reputation... {opens eyes} I just hope she knows what's good for her and find a food source. Surely, these beings eat edible products...

{Fade to black. The following message appears.}

So what if Daisy only had 6 lines?

Fun Facts

• Homestar said he's going to dress up as a girl in Reactions.
  • Also in the episode are why Homestar thought Strong Bad dressed up as a girl and why Homestar thought he killed Strong Bad.
• Strong Bad had a chat with Daisy in Pilot, where he once thought she was a robot.
• Daisy patting Coach Z's butt and Bubs' horse heads are from the previous episode.