Other Character Email The Unguraits/Coach Z

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The Unguraits meet Coach Z. But what if he...nah. Can't be. Can it?

Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Coach Z, Possessed Squid (from phone)

Transcript

UNGURAIT #1: Time for email to kick 'em in the grill!

Dear Ungrates,
Do you know Fhqwhgads?
Only kidding. Do you know Coach Z?
He does a great jorb.
Steve

UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Oh yeah. Wasn't he that guy that tried to beat us up? Well, I suppose we can go defeat-- {backspaces "defeat"} meet him. Yeah, meet him. {they leave. Cut to the football field} Hello, Coach.

COACH Z: Oh! It's the barndit guys!

UNGURAIT #1: Yeah, so...what's up?

COACH Z: Nothing. Hey let's pitch the 'ol porkskin, there! {holds up a football}

UNGURAIT #1: Sure! {they run away}

COACH Z: Go long! Go really long! {throws football, his phone rings and he answers it}

POSSESSED SQUID: {from phone} What are you doing? You're supposed to kill them, not play games with them!

COACH Z: I know. I know. I'm just trying to make them think I'm their friend, then when the time is rarght, BARM!! I kill 'em!

POSSESSED SQUID: {from phone} As long as you do, I'll give you the brand new house. Bye. {hangs up}

COACH Z: {slowly zoom in on the coach} I can finally move out of that lacher room! All I have to is kill the Unguraits! Horh! Horgh! HAARHGHGREWEEHGR!!! {zoom out to see the Unguraits}

UNGURAIT #1: What are you doing?

COACH Z: {simultaneosly} AHH! Don't scare me like that!

UNGURAIT #1: Sorry. Well, want to go get some food?

COACH Z: Yeah! {Cut to McDonald's. Coach Z and the Unguraits are eating.}

UNGURAIT #1: Whay are you using a knife for fries?

COACH Z: You'll see...you'll all see...YAARGH! {pitches knife at the Unguraits}

UNGURAIT #1: AHH! I knew we couldn't trust you!

COACH Z: Sorry, but if I want that new house, I gotta kill you for the squid!

UNGURAIT #1: "The Squid?" {gasps} You don't mean...

COACH Z: I do mean! Time to die!

{Battle music begins. The Unguraits grab very hot burgers and pitch them at Coach Z. He uses the tray to repel them. He grabs some ice and throws it at them. They grab a cup and capture it. They grab a chair and throw it at the coach. He's hit. He grabs some toys and chucks them at the Unguraits. Power Rangers and Witches are flying everywhere. The Unguraits get the soda machine and launches soda and ice at him. Coach Z tries to block it, but can't. He flies to the back of the restaurant.}

COACH Z: You think this is over? It's barely even started! {calls Possessed Squid}

POSSESSED SQUID: {from phone} Hello.

COACH Z: I need you to--

POSSESSED SQUID: I can't answer you right now, but leave a message and I might call back...maybe. {beep}

COACH Z: ...Crap.

UNGURAIT #1: You were saying? {Cut to the outside. Coach Z is getting arrested.}

COACH Z: You just wait. I'll get my revenge!

UNGURAIT #1: Yeah right. {Coach Z leaves}

MCDONALD'S WORKER: You'll have to pay for the damages done to the place.

{Battle music begins as the Unguraits tackle him offscreen.}

{Cut to a black screen that says "Click here to email the Unguraits".}

Fun Facts

• Coach Z trying to beat up the Unguraits refers to The Unguraits' Getaway.
• McDonald's is a real-life restaurant.