Resident Daisy/3
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Summary
Daisy meets Coach Z with near-death experiences. Meanwhile, Homestar loses himself after some chats with Daisy... or "Strong Bad"...
Cast (in order of appearance): Daisy, Homestar Runner, Coach Z
Transcript
{Cut to Daisy and Homestar walking across The Field. It is now night.}
DAISY: Ser- Okay, what's with this imitation crap, huh?
HOMESTAR: Calm down, little girl. This is one of those "bad days".
DAISY: Calm down, little girl break into a state of the end of argument!
HOMESTAR: Hey! I'm no little girl! I'm a terrific athlete!
DAISY: Yeah, I think of it, this little girl break into our house?
HOMESTAR: What? A little girl broke into our house?
{Homestar runs off to the left, in the direction of Marzipan's house.}
DAISY: Calm down, little girl break into our house?
{Daisy runs off in the opposite direction. The camera pans right to show Daisy running.}
{Cut to Coach Z, alone on the football field, patting his own butt.}
COACH Z: Man, I seriously need to have some Listerine. It's the perfect way for me to spend my time alorne. Otherwise, I have an urge to pat butts, and since there's only one butt around, I have no choice but to, once again, p-
{Suddenly, Daisy runs into Coach Z and knocks him onto the ground. Daisy stops running.}
DAISY: Ser- Okay, what's with this imitation crap again?
COACH Z: Why, hello there, little girl! Can you please help me off the ground? My back is probably going to chafe all over again!
{There is a slight pause.}
DAISY: Why, hello Coach Z. That is such a lovely name.
COACH Z: Why, how did you know my name? Are you a psorchic alien from the land of {gulps} Coach X?
DAISY: Why, hello Coach Z. That is such a lovely name.
COACH Z: Why thank you. What's yours?
DAISY: Why thank you. What's yours?
COACH Z: Uh... what is your name?
DAISY: Well, my name or no name.
COACH Z: Your name?
DAISY: Well, my name or no name.
COACH Z: Could you elaborate yourself? My ears are getting stuffed with so much orwax, not even Strong Mad punching my ears can get the darn orwax out!
DAISY: Well, my name or no name.
COACH Z: What? I just said my ears are stuffed with so much orwax, not even Strong Mad punching my ears can get it out! Come to think of it, The Chort can't chort my ears of its orwax either! In fact, the attempt made him sick for weeks!
DAISY: That's right. Get out of my house. Lovely, isn't it?
COACH Z: Your house? This is the fierld! The sports fierld! Also, can you get me off of the ground? {somber} It's cold and wet down here.
DAISY: That's right. Get out of my house. Lovely, isn't it?
COACH Z: Not as lovely as you'd think...
DAISY: You've got it almost sounds like you love flowers as much as I do.
COACH Z: Oh, you love floweirs, eh? I guess you can join me and drop down onto the ground and smell the grass! But if you have allergies, then that's not a good idear! I remember that I should be allergic to grass, So I guess I'm gonna have to sneeze! {sneezes}
DAISY: You've got it almost sounds like you love floweirs as much as I do.
{Coach Z violently sneezes.}
DAISY: You've got it almost sounds like you love floweirs as much as I do.
{Coach Z now violently coughs. Meanwhile, Daisy violently sneezes. Then Coach Z begins to make choking sounds. Daisy begins to violently cough. Then Coach Z's face turns blue as he makes more choking sounds.}
DAISY: Wha... more {choking sounds}.
{Coach Z passes out. Screen-wipe to show Daisy didn't move and Coach Z's still on the ground. The words "2 hours later" fly by. Homestar walks onscreen with a flashlight, turning it on and off. Then he shines the flashlight at Daisy, turning it on and off.}
HOMESTAR: All right, kids! {waves flashlight around} Nothing to see! Nothing to see!
DAISY: Are you even Strong Mad punching my ears can you please come to think of my house! I guess I spoke too soon.
HOMESTAR: I'm sure strong mad's in the b-
{Homestar looks at Coach Z and shines his flashlight on him.}
HOMESTAR: Holy underpants! Someone just killed Coach Z!
DAISY: I know. I'm Strong Bad. You immediately.
HOMESTAR: {shocked} What? Strong Bad? What are you doing dressed up as a girl?
DAISY: Are you even Strong Bad has gone into that area!
HOMESTAR: Oh, really, Strong Bad? Because if that's so, then I guess I should start dressing up as a girl too! {happily} Marzipan will think I'm so pretty!
DAISY: I know. I'm Strong Bad. You immediately.
{Homestar makes a saluting gesture (indicated by his flashlight).}
HOMESTAR: Yes ma'am!
DAISY: Well, you've got it mixed up. I'm the guy. You're the "hot girl"!
HOMESTAR: And so I am! To the makeup room!
DAISY: Well, I guess you can join me and drop down onto the makeup room!
HOMESTAR: Oh, you have your own makeup room? Well, why don't you take me there, Strong Bad?
DAISY: Whatever. I'm out (even though you take me there, Strong Bad)?
HOMESTAR: Oh, come on! Don't leave me for hanging! Also, who's going to make sure Coach Z won't become a zombie?
{Daisy passes out and falls onto the ground next to Coach Z.}
HOMESTAR: Strong Bad? Are you okay? Did you just pass out?
{Homestar prods Daisy with his flashlight. Soon, Homestar gasps as he jumps away from Daisy.}
HOMESTAR: {shocked} Holy grief pants! I just killed a Strong Bad! {scared} Quick! I must dress up as a girl to disguise myself!
{Homestar runs off to the left. Fade to black.}
Fun Facts
- Coach Z butting his own butt is a reference to the Butt-Patting running gag.
- He's known for patting his own butt in trading cards.
- Coach Z is known for drinking Listerine.
