Other Character Email Gunhaver/Contestro
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Summary
Gunhaver must defeat Contestro Sevornkey and the Rusty Duck Clan, who have recently joined with Blue Laser, but this kind of does not make sense when it comes to time laws. But most importantly, Gunhaver's been deceived. Contestro is more dangerous than he was in the past timeline for some reasons that include the future.
Cast (in order of appearance): Reinforcements, Gunhaver, Gyro, Mr. Boing, Contestro, Blue Laser, Carl, Sir Gunsman, Sir Bounce, Crontes Sevorn, Guntoshi, LaughTrak, Carteen Sraven, Reynold, Flashfight, Foxface, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Firebert, Crackotage, Princess
Lines: 156
Transcript
{Cut to The Screen. Reinforcements is playing a game where a stick figure is bouncing in a frying pan being held by a person who looks similar to Mr. Game & Watch. Gunhaver comes.}
GUNHAVER: Hey Reinforcements, I... Wow! I never knew you could play games on The Screen!
REINFORCEMENTS: Yeah, well, I kind orf disorbled some program.
GUNHAVER: What program?
REINFORCEMENTS: It was laborled in blor, it was bolded, and it begorn with the letter B. Is it important?
GUNHAVER: YOU DISABLED THE BLUE LAS-ALERT???
REINFORCEMENTS: Oh, I guess it wors important. I'll fix it.
GUNHAVER: Wait, I need to check my email. {muttering} I guess now I know why we weren't able to stop Blue Laser from doing evil stuff for weeks.
{Gunhaver goes to The Screen's keyboard and types inGEmail.exeto get the following reply.}
That does not exist.
GUNHAVER: WHAT??? Oh, I guess my old email address works here.
{Gunhaver types ingunhaver_email.exeto get the following reply.}
Neither does that, so stop making up file names!
REINFORCEMENTS: No! You need to do thors.
{Reinforcements types inrun "Cheat Commando Email"to make the following appear on the screen.}
Cheat Commando Email
Gunhaver:2
Flashfight: None
Fightgar: None
Silent Rip: None
Firebert: Needs better name
Crackotage: I don't think so
Reynold: Who needs him?
Reinforcements: He broke it!
Foxface: Never checks, never will
Ripberger: Japanese doesn't work here
GUNHAVER: Wow, I'm surprised none of us saw that. If we did see that, we would have not spent so much money on new The Screen upgrades.
REINFORCEMENTS: What? The Scrorn is the same! There were no orpgrades in yors!
GUNHAVER: Oh yeah, that going to the past thing.
REINFORCEMENTS: Huh?
GUNHAVER: Look, just let me check my email.
{Then Gunhaver presses on Gunhaver: 1 to make the following email appear. Gunhaver reads it.}
Dear G-Haver,
Can I join the Cheat Commandos?
-Mr. Boing
P.S. - Don't insult my name or
I'll join my brother, Contestro.
GUNHAVER: {typing} Uh, didn't you already join? Yeah, you did, so... next email.
{Gunhaver presses a button to make the next email appear on the screen.}
Dear G.
Me and my team of inexperienced
ninjas and our giant robot have
teamed up with Blue Laser, and
together we shall not fail!
-Contestro
GUNHAVER: {typing} Why should I care? First of all, you'll fail because of extreme disorganization and... dumbness. Second of all, this takes place way before you first emailed me.
REINFORCEMENTS: What are you talking about?
GUNHAVER: Uh, the info's from newspaper articles. {typing} Okay, so maybe you did team up with Blue Laser in the past before emailing me and joining him again if you say I have psychic powers. But third of all, I think your brother is going to beat you all up. {stops typing and talks to Reinforcements} All right, I'll have Reynold fix The Screen and tell the Cheat Commandos that Reynold broke the Blue Las-alert.
REINFORCEMENTS: Thanks Gunhaver!
{Cut to Gunhaver on the couch, eating some Bread and Sugar while watching TV.}
GUNHAVER: Man! There's never anything good on TV!
{Then Gunhaver changes to another channel, where we hear a news jingle.}
NEWS REPORTER: {from TV} This just in. Contestro and the Rusty...
GUNHAVER: Boring!
{Gunhaver turns off the TV.}
{Cut to Gunhaver in Gyro's lab.}
GYRO: Hey Gunhaver, are you going to use my virtual reality invention?
GUNHAVER: Ye... No! Screw that invention!
GYRO: {sad} Well, all right.
{Cut to a radio in the room, where we hear the following.}
ANNOUNCER: This just in. Contestro and the Rusty...
{Just then, we hear a gunshot as a bullet flies into the radio and destroys it. Cut to Gunhaver (with his pistol out) and Gyro.}
GYRO: Gunhaver, that was my radio!
GUNHAVER: It's now your pile of scrap.
{Cut to Gunhaver outside the Cheat Commandos HQ, where he sees a newspaper that has the following headline.}
Contestro Sevornkey and the Rusty Duck Clan on the Loose with Blue Laser!
GUNHAVER: All right, fine. I'll go and save the day, but first, I need someone to help me.
{Mr. Boing runs to the scene.}
MR. BOING: How about me? I know everything about Contestro and how to beat him.
GUNHAVER: {pause} All right, but don't annoy me with bad jokes.
MR. BOING: Hey! My jokes are the best! Like there is this one where a pickle and a jar of mayo went to the store and said to the pizza guy, "Hey! What's the time?" And...
GUNHAVER: Shut up.
MR. BOING: Look, do you know why people don't like my jokes? They never let me finish them!
{Cut to the Blue Laser HQ, where Blue Laser is in an assembly room with Contestro.}
CONTESTRO: Heh, heh, heh. Little does Gunhaver know, the Rusty Duck Clan and the robot are just a façade for my real plan, the use of my 1936 and 20X5.5 counterparts, which should be useful, based on what my 20X5.5 counterpart told me.
BLUE LASER: AND WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
CONTESTRO: You, my friend, are going to... I don't know. I don't think you'll like what I'll tell you.
BLUE LASER: WHAT?
CONTESTRO: Activate the machine!
{Cut to Carl, who pushes down on a lever on a metallic wall of a large machine. Then the large machine is turned on.}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} Not so fast, Blue Loser and Umdero Sadorksy!
CONTESTRO: What? How do you know my least favorite nickname?
{Cut to Gunhaver and Mr. Boing jumping to the floor in front of Contestro and Blue Laser.}
MR. BOING: Hey Contestro, or should I say, Umdero Sadorksy.
CONTESTRO: Oh, I can't believe I'm related to you, especially since you made that joke about the Rusty Duck Clan.
MR. BOING: You mean the one that's like, "Rusty Duck Clan? More like, Dusty Muck Clan! But that is not all, because (here is the actual funny part)..."
CONTESTRO: Shut up! I hate that joke, because for some reasons, it sounds offensive. {close up on Contestro} ACTIVATE THE MACHINE!!!
{Cut to Carl, who pushes down a larger lever on the machine. Then all lights attached to it begin to glow as it begins sucking in designated people. Cut to Gunhaver, Contestro, Mr. Boing, and Blue Laser. Mr. Boing and Blue Laser are sucked into the machine.}
MR. BOING: AHHHHHHHH!!!! I didn't even get to say my punch line! The one where I punch somebody!
BLUE LASER: I JUST HATE THAT AFRO GUY SO MUCH!
GUNHAVER: What the crap is going on?
CONTESTRO: By telling you that you were only going to fight me, Blue Laser, and the Rusty Duck Clan, you came unprepared for my real wrath!
{Cut to 1936, where Sir Gunsman and Sir Bounce are facing Crontes Sevorn.}
SIR GUNSMAN: Crontes Sevorn, it is time for you to face the music. We know that it was you who stole all of the parsnips from the depot.
SIR BOUNCE: And it was all because of me with my uproarious hoots and knowledge of you.
SIR GUNSMAN: No it wasn't. It's because we just... Look Crontes, you're going to be taken into custody.
CRONTES: Is that so? Well, you will never take my valuable...
{Just then, there is a great, big, flash of white. Crontes Sevorn is replaced by Mr. Boing (who is still in color).}
MR. BOING: Whoa! What is this? Grayscale World?
SIR GUNSMAN: AHHHH!!! I'm being blinded by his bizarre appearance!
{Cut to 20X5.5, where Guntoshi and LaughTrak are facing Carteen Sraven.}
GUNTOSHI: Dumb name, we have caught you! Now you are going to be arrested by the CYBER POLICE!
LAUGHTRAK: {produces canned laughter sound}
GUNTOSHI: Dude, that was not funny.
LAUGHTRAK: I didn't even start my funny joke!
CARTEEN: Shut up. Do know that I will be the one to rule your world soon, despite the current situation.
{Just then, there is a flash of white as Carteen Sraven is replaced by Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?
GUNTOSHI: Hey look! It's Dark Sapphire Laser's ancestor! Let's beat him up!
LAUGHTRAK: {produces battle cry sounds} CHARGE! CHARGE TO THE MAX!
GUNTOSHI: What? Was that going to be a joke?
LAUGHTRAK: No.
{Cut to Blue Laser's HQ, where Gunhaver is standing in front of Contestro, Crontes, and Carteen.}
GUNHAVER: Wait, so let me get this straight. You went through all this effort in getting that unrealistic piece of machinery, making Blue Laser disappear (which was cool), making your annoying brother disappear, and bring your past and future self here? Why? That sounds pretty pointless, and dumb, like you are.
CONTESTRO: Shut up! And I only did this because Carteen told me to!
CARTEEN: That's right. I have been formulating a master plan ever since you've come from the future due to the effects of the butterfly effect machine.
GUNHAVER: You know about that?
CARTEEN: Duh, everybody uses it. It's a cool invention. Anyway, the point is, you don't, and won't, know about my master plan.
CRONTES: I don't even know where I am. I also can't see very well.
GUNHAVER: Oh yeah? Well, what is that piece of crap for?
{Gunhaver points to the large machine that sucked Blue Laser and Mr. Boing in so Crontes and Carteen could be delivered to the present.}
CARTEEN: It is how we're going to take over the world. Contestro, show Gunhaver the true ferocity of the machine!
{Cut to the machine, which starts to transform into...}
{Cut to the living room of the Cheat Commandos HQ, where Gunhaver is with Reynold and the Cheat Commandos.}
FOXFACE: And then what happened?
GUNHAVER: I don't know. I got hit in the head, got amnesia, and somehow got back to the Headquarters Playset.
FLASHFIGHT: Oh, that's a shame.
GUNHAVER: Anyway, I have another announcement. We have a new Cheat Commando recruit to replace Mr. Boing, and this person won't require us to do a damsel-in-distress crap, Princess.
{Then Princess walks to the room.}
FIGHTGAR: Wow, she's hot.
PRINCESS: Thanks. You look pretty handsome, but you need to shave.
GUNHAVER: I have one final announcement. Before Reynold goes to fix The Screen...
REYNOLD: What?
GUNHAVER: He disabled the Blue Las-alert.
REYNOLD: That's not true!
{Then the rest of the Cheat Commandos surround Reynold to beat him up. Then we cut to The Screen, where the Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe.}
Easter Eggs
Click on the scuffle to see what happened to Mr. Boing.
{Mr. Boing is flying through a funky background}
MR. BOING: Whew! It's a good thing I brought a personal time machine!
Fun Facts
- A new story arc will unfold, concerning Contestro (who is one of the main three antagonists for now), Carteen, and Crontes.
- Reinforcements disabling the Blue Las-alert explains why there weren't any missions during Season 3.
- The game Reinforcements was playing on The Screen is a parody of a Game & Watch game, Chef (I think that's its name, for it includes a frying pan and food).
- Gunhaver referenced to Bread.
- The virtual reality invention was from Switch.
- Mr. Boing, his 1936 and 20X5.5 counterparts, Contestro's 1936 and 20X5.5 counterparts, and Princess are from Cheat Commandos Characters.
- The Rusty Duck Clan is from Bonus Stage. In the last emails where Contestro made appearances, he was with the Rusty Duck Clan with a deadly Rusty Duck Clan robot.
- Gunhaver saying that Princess won't do the damsel-in-distress crap is referencing to many video games where princesses are the damsel-in-distress (need to be rescued from some evil guy). Good examples of those princesses are Princess Peach (of the Mario games) and Princess Zelda (of the Zelda games).
